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  • Magnetism
    Veteran Member
    • Jan 2009
    • 1060

    Some people project their own preferences unto others. Some people see sex as just ****ing and getting off. I agree that the mind, our senses, sensual tension, eye contact, and everything makes the ultimate experience.
    "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

    Comment

    • jen1447
      Veteran Member
      • Oct 2013
      • 2380

      I suspect your therapist was just concerned that you were being a doormat. It's easy to conclude that someone who never gets is doing all the giving, not to mention that the situation isn't uncommon traditionally with men and women, the men being the getters, which plays to the familiar exploited woman scenario. I doubt she was making a judgment on what type of sexual activities you should enjoy.

      Comment

      • Magnetism
        Veteran Member
        • Jan 2009
        • 1060

        I don't feel it's being a doormat. I see it as being in control and honoring what turns me on. I feel like giving oral puts the receiver in a very vulnerable position. I stopped seeing her, because she gave some destructive relationship advice, committed fraudulent billing, texted during sessions and revealed her client's identity to me. When I chose not to see her, she suggested doing phone sessions with me to keep me as a client. Phone sessions aren't ethical to my knowledge.
        "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

        Comment

        • jen1447
          Veteran Member
          • Oct 2013
          • 2380

          Sure, if she was deficient, fire her by all means. I don't think you're being a doormat either and I understand where you're coming from perfectly, but I think she may have just thought that being in a giving only relationship meant being a doormat or something like it.

          Comment

          • effy2014
            Veteran Member
            • Apr 2014
            • 1777

            Originally posted by Magnetism
            She was concerned about me GIVING. She also said, "Nothing is being done to you." I said, "My body experiences sensations while giving oral." She said, "I never heard of that" and laughed. I told her that her comments are making anxious, because I felt that she was making me feel abnormal.
            Glad you got rid of her. She sounds like an idiot. She should read the threads here about cunilingus and male sexual satisfaction. Why wouldn't it be the same for women?
            "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

            Comment

            • Magnetism
              Veteran Member
              • Jan 2009
              • 1060

              She was good in the sense where she helped me process a friend's death and some job transitions (which is why I saw her). I went off topic and revealed too much. Maybe sex just wasn't her specialty. Oooh..I got to look up threads on cunilingus and male satisfaction.
              "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

              Comment

              • Magnetism
                Veteran Member
                • Jan 2009
                • 1060

                Out of curiosity, who in here considers oral sex "sex" or do you only see vaginal penetration as sex? One deal breaker I would have is being with a man that didn't see oral sex as sex.
                "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

                Comment

                • bootsie
                  Senior Member
                  • May 2013
                  • 154

                  I do,oral sex is sex,because it's consider part of a sex act at least what I have been told.What oral would be sex?

                  Comment

                  • effy2014
                    Veteran Member
                    • Apr 2014
                    • 1777

                    I'm not sure I understand "deal breaker" issue. From an intimacy standpoint, vaginal penetration is just one of many acts that I would consider "sex". Cunilingus is certainly an intimate sexual act as is fellatio. The same can be said for anal penetration and analingus. But to answer your question, oral sex is indeed sex.
                    "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

                    Comment

                    • Romy
                      Veteran Member
                      • Jan 2014
                      • 339

                      I definitively think oral sex is sex.

                      Comment

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