[Magnetism]

My answer is no. Some would think, "If they've been with so many people, they must be more skilled!"

What works for the 100 women that you slept with may not work for one particular woman. If you're having just a string of one-night stands, I would question the quality of those affairs. Are you taking the time to figure out what works for your partner?

An arrogant attitude and thinking that you're god's gift to the opposite sex would be a turn- off for me. I'm sure there are some promiscuous people that are classy and don't impose their views on others (like Grace Kelly).But, I have met a few that love to dish out the details and think they're hot stuff. This doesn't impress me.

Lastly, what makes someone good in bed differs from person to person. Some women think that a man has to be huge or make them orgasm five times. Me? I just want to enjoy the chemistry with someone I'm into. If I run into a promiscuous man that's not my type, the sex may not be good no matter how "good" he is.

Have you ever slept with a person that has been with a lot of people, and did you find them to be better in bed?

[Stillness]

I think that unselfishness is what makes a good lover. If anything, experience with others works against you, I think. For example, you may learn to do something that your mate loves. It gets you going to get them going, so you start to love it too. Then you get with a new mate that cares nothing for it and you want it to work for them and it just does not.

Two people developing together sexually is the ideal, I think.

[Baboy]

I endorse what Stillness has said.

From a personal perspective, I had one gf who had a long line of bfs before me. Sex with her was probably the least satisfactory I ever had. She certainly did not display all kinds of creativity, or teach me anything, and I always had it in the back of my mind that she was patiently waiting for me to show some of the greatness she must have encountered before. So I always harbored doubts about whether I was measuring up. Moreover, it was difficult to feel there was much special about it. As I said, I was just one in a long line. Her vagina had received more penises that she perhaps could recall, so it would be hubris to think mine would create any impression. Overall, a distinctly unrewarding experience.

[kdc]

I've never understood why people would talk about their previous experiences with their current partners. I had sexual relationships with others before I settled down, but I've been careful not to talk about them with my husband. Some things are best left unsaid, IMO. ;-)

[jns]

Promiscuity is about being receptive to having many partners. If promiscuity created people who were the best sex partners, then librarians should be the true geniuses of society. Could a person who is promiscuous be a complete boor in the bedroom? Possibly for a while, then their reputation would get out and there would be less opportunity for them to continue being promiscuous. Most promiscuous people are probably reasonably good at sex which is different than being good sex partners. Being promiscuous, they could still be selfish at sex. I don't think a good sex partner can be selfish about sex. I think that people who are promiscuous can lose excitement when having sex the same as people in long term relationships can even though they are having sex with different partners.

As far as Baboy's comments about being with someone with many partners, that has never entered my mind while having sex. I have never gotten negative feedback related to a partner's past partners. I have had some partners who have had many partners in the past. It didn't bother me a bit.

[Magnetism]

JNS-I used to think that I was the type that didn't care about how many people you've been with. Once I did get involved with someone that was very open about his past, I noticed some things about him that I didn't like. We clashed with some of our views towards sex. Ever since then, I would prefer someone that didn't tell me all of the gory details or brag about himself.
KDC-I don't understand why people feel the need to brag either, but I've also met people that want to know all of the details about my sex life. Different strokes for different folks.

[Baboy]

Magnetism, the woman to whom I made reference was like the man you described - very open about her past. I never asked, but she made frequent reference to past partners and, in time, I came to realize that there had indeed been a rather big number. That also made me realize that she simply viewed sex quite differently from me.

I have always regarded sex as something special to be shared, meaning one should be selective about with whom it is shared. For her, it was something simply to be enjoyed on a casual basis, holding no meaning at all. She mentioned quite a few one night stands, which is not something I have ever cared for. So we just were not destined to be the most compatible sex partners. For all her considerable experience, I never felt my world being rocked by someone who held a black belt in sex and who could give me a thrill that no one of less varied experience could not match. I'm not saying I did not enjoy sex with her, but it never reached the level I now enjoy with my wife who, while perhaps not regarding sex as sacred, to be shared with only one person in a lifetime, holds views much more congruent with my own. That, I am confident, has contributed to making our sex life as fulfilling as it has been.

The whole need to brag thing I don't get either. Perhaps because I do not have prodigious numbers about which to brag. Small numbers might, however, be just as brag-worthy. The woman of whom I spoke who could put my numbers to shame, I would not call a braggart. She never sat me down and said anything like "Well, let me tell you about all the guys that I have had." The details (and I am sure I did not get all, or even close) kind of spilled out over time, and usually in a conversation not intended to elicit that information.

[Magnetism]

Hi Baboy-I didn't ask that man either. The female friend that I met him through said, "You should totally sleep with him. He's been with so many people. I bet he's really good in bed." When I told her, "I'm kind of grossed out by how many people he's been with. It gives me a weird mental picture." She said that she gets turned on hearing how many women a man has been with. Maybe these people brag thinking that some people actually like to hear it!

I enjoyed my time with this particular man too, but some of his viewpoints made me feel misunderstood/resentful. An example is how we once argued about how a lot of women can't cum through vaginal penetration. There are studies that document it, and women's posts online mentioning it. Since he had been with "so many women", he was convinced that most women could easily cum through vaginal penetration. Him and I used to also argue about how a woman must ALWAYS have an orgasm. I'm able to enjoy intimacy without an orgasm, and there are other women that can as well. He said, "If I can't make you cum, another **** will. That's not healthy, if you don't care." My opinion is that he wanted to make a woman cum to boost his ego. The more you try to force me to orgasm, the less likely it will happen.

[Baboy]

Sounds familiar, Magnetism. My gf, although she never showed me any particularly out-of-this-world sex stemming from her vast experience, like your bf, talked as though she knew it all. Also some silly stuff. She was certain that a woman could not get pregnant unless she had an orgasm. I asked how she explained rape victims sometimes becoming pregnant. Her simple explanation was that, rape notwithstanding, the woman had an orgasm. I have my doubts about many women experiencing orgasm during non-consensual forced sex. But she was sure she was right. Just like your bf was sure any woman can experience orgasm through vaginal penetration, when even those not that learned in these matters recognize that there is a fair percentage who never cum that way and a fair number who do, but only rarely.

It is also sad that someone who has had an endless series of sexual encounters would fail to realize that not each such encounter MUST result in orgasm for both partners. Being so goal-focussed seems inimical to the idea of closeness and mutual pleasure.

[jns]

I never had a partner like Baboy or Magnetism describe, one who didn't filter past relationships. I was never made to feel inadequate or second best.