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  • effy2014
    Veteran Member
    • Apr 2014
    • 1777

    Originally posted by calibri~
    I find that very difficult to handle and it puts me off! Honestly, some of the things I have done for him in this department would surprise most of you, and many I wasn't that keen on but did for him anyway. He'll open his eyes and ask what Im thinking, probably expecting me to come out with something terrible sexy but I always say the same thing - "I'm wondering if you are enjoying this"...
    Wow. Just wow. You do put up with a lot.
    "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

    Comment

    • calibri~
      Veteran Member
      • May 2014
      • 484

      My sarcasm radar is going off...
      “...choose to believe in your own myth
      your own glamour
      your own spell
      a young woman who does this
      (even if she is just pretending)
      has everything....”
      ― Francesca Lia Block, How to (Un)cage a Girl

      Comment

      • effy2014
        Veteran Member
        • Apr 2014
        • 1777

        Originally posted by calibri~
        My sarcasm radar is going off...
        No, I mean it. You put up with a lot from him. The "WOW" was not showing emotion when having your sexual desires satisfied. I am rather expressive during and appreciative later. My SO has never had to ask that particular question . . . .
        "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

        Comment

        • calibri~
          Veteran Member
          • May 2014
          • 484

          I often feel the need to ask after whatever it was, if it was OK...
          "what do you think" or "uhuh" are not sufficient answers to this type of question. What do you think is his problem?
          “...choose to believe in your own myth
          your own glamour
          your own spell
          a young woman who does this
          (even if she is just pretending)
          has everything....”
          ― Francesca Lia Block, How to (Un)cage a Girl

          Comment

          • calibri~
            Veteran Member
            • May 2014
            • 484

            Where's jen when you need her?
            No seriously, where is she...
            “...choose to believe in your own myth
            your own glamour
            your own spell
            a young woman who does this
            (even if she is just pretending)
            has everything....”
            ― Francesca Lia Block, How to (Un)cage a Girl

            Comment

            • Motorguy
              Veteran Member
              • Mar 2014
              • 3921

              I am not sure Romy, says she talks with Jen all the time. Many ask her to get Jen to come back that many people miss her here at WH.
              When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

              Comment

              • effy2014
                Veteran Member
                • Apr 2014
                • 1777

                Originally posted by calibri~
                . What do you think is his problem?
                Though I can't take Jen's place, I have two theories, neither of which may be accurate. First, he may be lost within himself. What you are doing may take his mind somewhere that he is concentrating on that rather than being expressive.

                Second, he may just be too embarrassed to show pleasure from it. You described the fetish as being a bit "out there" -- he may need you to do it but there may also be shame that he needs it.
                "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

                Comment

                • LilahX
                  Veteran Member
                  • Jan 2010
                  • 291

                  He does come across a bit like a petulant child. Relationships are about compromise and respecting the other person's feelings. Of course we only get one side of the story here but it sounds like he's had more than his fair share of sexual pleasures with you - I just hope it's been returned. I hope he comes to understand how good he's got it.

                  Comment

                  • Motorguy
                    Veteran Member
                    • Mar 2014
                    • 3921

                    Originally posted by LilahX
                    He does come across a bit like a petulant child. Relationships are about compromise and respecting the other person's feelings. Of course we only get one side of the story here but it sounds like he's had more than his fair share of sexual pleasures with you - I just hope it's been returned. I hope he comes to understand how good he's got it.
                    I agree with this statement LilahX, relationships suppose to be respectful for both not one sided. If I even attempted to do what i read here to my wife. I am pretty sure my voice would be in a very higher tone this would not feel good for my self.
                    When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

                    Comment

                    • raindancer
                      Veteran Member
                      • Sep 2014
                      • 243

                      I think he's trying to manipulate you.

                      Do you think the two of you are compatible in bed?

                      By the time a partner "dares" to ask for something you're not doing, he/she already though of that a lot. If one is always asking for things and the other is always denying, I'd think they're incompatible.

                      The one denying is getting it his/her way, while the one wishing for something else is frustrated.

                      Perhaps while you were writing your post, he was writing another one, something like "how do I get my lover to do...?"

                      Comment

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