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I am always focused on the positives that got us to the point of sex to begin with. Whether with my wife or partners previous to marriage, there was something that turned me on enough to want to have sex with them before it happened. In the case of the former, her imperfections (as she sees them) are invisible to me. With regard to the latter, those women, who I found attractive enough to get intimate with in the first place, were giving themselves to me and doing incredible things to me, and it's going to be great (or at least better than I was feeling before we started). So I'm thinking that way, not about a little more weight than her outfit revealed in the run up, or a c-section scar or razor stubble or the something else. I never had sex with someone whose breath I wasn't aware of beforehand, and if it was bad enough to overwhelm my thoughts I don't think I'd have pressed on in the first place.
What do you women think about in that situation? When a guy you've decided is worth the ride isn't all six-pack, and what you thought could be a big package through the jeans turns out to be just average, are you thinking about those imperfections or focused on what drew you in to begin with?Comment
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Poor grooming could be a turn off, but other aspects should not be. Why? Because you have seen your partner and know what is likely to be the situation. "Fat thighs" can be a turn on because of their softness or alternately their squeezing power. Scars are something to learn background on and to kiss and make better. What are perceived as imperfections by one are features to the other.I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
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Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, VirginiaComment
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What I think about when I am having sex with a woman is pleasuring the woman I am with,making sure that I am doing all the right things that I am suppose to do to her in order for her to get all the pleasure that she need.I am one who doesn't pay attention to her outter side that much,because I look at all the BEAUTY within.To me if you are noticing all of what you are asking and other stuff that might not be right with a woman,then you won't have anyone to be with or even makelove to.That's just me.Comment
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I probably can't speak for a lot of guys on this, but I don't think about anything during sex. I've tried to think about other people while having sex (I've tried to think of other people while having sex only for the sake of trying it, not because I did not find my partner attractive), but whenever I do, I lose my erection. Thinking about a fantasy or other people etc just puts my brain to work when it shouldn't be at work.
Now that I think about it, I do think about my GF orgasming like crazy while we have sex. What can I say, I want to be "the man." Can't hate me for it.
As for imperfections, well, my eyes go where it makes them happy. I don' t think I try to control it. Now my GF doesn't really have imperfections like scars or whatnot, and I love her figure/shape, but if she had something I did not want to see, I am sure my eyes would look elsewhere on their own. If I am behind her, I can say my eyes are on her butt for a large portion of time.
Also, some guys actually like certain imperfections (it's hard to explain why). If you're worried about imperfections, I probably would not worry. A lot of guys don't mind them
Good topic!"Are you serious? You're bleeping THAT girl?" - jen1447Comment
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I do not pay attention to those things, I am attracted to my wife no matter what and I am thinking about pleasuring her and about the next thing we are going to do after whatever sex act we are doing, or I am just taking in and enjoying everything. I have never been one to think about other women or anything like that, it is not necessary when I have a beautiful woman naked in my bed with me giving me what I want (or giving her what she wants).Comment
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