[jen1447]

I wouldn't think of it as resorting to anything ....masturbation is awesome, especially when you do have partnered sex going on at some times too. I think it's actually pretty common that regular sex is not enough for many women.

[HerHusband]

Interesting topic for my very first post. I wont go into a lot of detail but after 20 plus years of marriage my wife and I recently became much more open in our discussions of sex and what we do in the bedroom. After sex a few months back I asked my wife if she masturbated and she readily admitted she has in the past and still does on occasion. Not so much anymore since we are as sexually active now as we were for the first few years we were married. Im 51 and am one of the guys who slowly got fat and uninterested in sex. Testosterone therapy for men is an amazing thing. I lost 70 pounds over the last couple years and my sex drive is great. Im good for 2-3 times a day if the opportunity is there.
Its so cool that she is willing to make that admission and we are at a whole new level in our lives.

Like the site and I want to use it to learn more about honest thoughts of other women. It helps me to have some more insight into the female psyche. Im one of the guys who love and worship women and consider it my responsibility to keep my wife happy.

Not on topic but as a bonus for both of us I found a way to get her to try anal and now she really likes it. That's a whole conversation on its own.

[jen1447]

HH, what with your success, I'd encourage you to dial it up to even the next level for your wife. Women can have truly astounding capabilities here, and if things are running on all cylinders, she might be game. And masturbation could be the key.

In my experience, when it comes to orgasmic-ness, women have three primary blocking points. The first, for women who aren't multi-orgasmic, is just having more than one orgasm at all. Once they overcome that, the second seems to be stopping at 3 orgasms. Women seem to oftentimes feel like this is some sort of morally self-imposed limit, and fears a being some kind of sex monster lead them to head it off at that point. If they can then overcome that, the third, which is really not so much a blockage as a practicality issue, just becomes stopping when you get tired of it. (This can apply either to sequential multiples or just general sexual activity thruout the course of a day.) The revelation comes when you're able to bridge that one, because it basically takes away any limitation. Practicality still determines when it ends, but it's really liberating to lose the physical constraints. Your wife might like to take that journey.

Not all women can do it, but you'd both have fun trying.

[Millner]

I can get addicted to sex once I have it. Like now.....that's when I do masturbate and many times a week. It sucks, I would rather have the real thing.

[HerHusband]

HH, what with your success, I'd encourage you to dial it up to even the next level for your wife. Women can have truly astounding capabilities here, and if things are running on all cylinders, she might be game. And masturbation could be the key.

In my experience, when it comes to orgasmic-ness, women have three primary blocking points. The first, for women who aren't multi-orgasmic, is just having more than one orgasm at all. Once they overcome that, the second seems to be stopping at 3 orgasms. Women seem to oftentimes feel like this is some sort of morally self-imposed limit, and fears a being some kind of sex monster lead them to head it off at that point. If they can then overcome that, the third, which is really not so much a blockage as a practicality issue, just becomes stopping when you get tired of it. (This can apply either to sequential multiples or just general sexual activity thruout the course of a day.) The revelation comes when you're able to bridge that one, because it basically takes away any limitation. Practicality still determines when it ends, but it's really liberating to lose the physical constraints. Your wife might like to take that journey.

Not all women can do it, but you'd both have fun trying.

I really have to say for newly minted member the replies to the posts I make have literally hitting the nail on topics that I am additionally interested.
For as long as we have been married my wife has only been able to achieve orgasm cowgirl during sex. Im not complaining because she frequently makes me as well at or near the same time. She recently let me masturbate her to orgasm but now when I get her close she insists on moving on top because she wants me in her when she does. Im fine with that.
I like doggy, missionary and others and she lets me control the tempo. If I dont climax when she does then I move to what I like and she likes it as well but she just can not come that way. She is recently willing to masturbate herself some while I am behind or on top but not to orgasm. And I have been talking to her that Id really like her to be able to orgasm during anal. If not an anal orgasm a clitoral one by what ever means. She wants to as well but we just have not been able to. I know the vast majority of women never are able to achieve anal orgasms.

She isnt into toys since I bought a few of different types. Did that when I bought a few small butt plugs when she was learning to relax for the real thing.

Im trying to figure out how to make her more orgasmic. We dont do any kind of bondage, etc but I have told her Id like to tie her wrists behind her once to try but she isnt willing. I would not press that point since its a minor sex play thing.

I have a question for the ladies. My wife insists she does not always need to have an orgasm during sex. She says she still has a good time but I feel like Im not getting the job done. And there are times when she says that it makes me spend much more time trying to arouse her to be able to. She has an orgasm on average 2 out of 3 times we have sex vaginally and the anal is usually a session itself or after vaginal.
Can the women have sex sometimes, not orgasm and still enjoy it?

There is another boundary Im trying to get her to consider but that's a separate subject.

Matter of fact I just stopped and sent her a text telling her I want to help her have these kinds of orgasms.

[Millner]

oh yes, I've had sex without an orgasm and felt fine EXCEPT I will usually "attack" him later on and then have an orgasm lol whether it's masturbating in front of him or sex. More power to the man that can give me an orgasm through ORAL though.....that's a rarity ha.

p.s. I loved the 50 shades of grey series and pretty much orgasmed reading them

[jen1447]

Hot.

I agree, women can and do enjoy sex without orgasming. We're just wired different, it isn't always so ends-based for us. Sometimes we do want to blow the lid off, and other times we just don't need to. You'd do well to keep that in mind, and also if she says something, you should take her at face value and not try to out-think her own mind ....that means if she says she is fine without an orgasm, she is fine and you trying to force the issue (usually guys do this for their own ego more than anything) will just irritate her. You want her happy, not irritated, so don't second guess her and just do as she says.

Im trying to figure out how to make her more orgasmic. We dont do any kind of bondage, etc but I have told her Id like to tie her wrists behind her once to try but she isnt willing. I would not press that point since its a minor sex play thing.

You can contribute, but it's really up to her to be more orgasmic. She's not gonna just turn into a multiples girl overnight because you talked dirty or spanked her or whatever. It's more of a spiritual thing, she has to embrace it in her psyche and then with her body. You'll mainly be along for the ride but it's great anyway.

I know the vast majority of women never are able to achieve anal orgasms.

Not really true btw - many women who enjoy anal find that they can cum from it easier than vaginal. There are certain techniques that can stimulate the g-spot well, which is probably what's really at the root of it.

Millner, you only rarely orgasm from oral? That's a surprise lol, usually women seem to have more luck with it than anything (besides masturbation).

[HerHusband]

You senior members need to start a subforum called how to make a woman orgasm maybe? I don't want to continue to step on the OP thread but hope its ok.

My first reply is to Millner. Thanks for giving me a little mental relief about my love of my life not having to have an orgasm to enjoy it. She tells me its about closeness, intimacy (which would make me love her more if it were possible) and ultimately making me orgasm in her which she can feel. We men cant feel most if not all times the orgasm of a woman like you can with us. There are the obvious things but with men its not something you can fake. Without being a yuk thing the proof is in the pudding for men. You girls can act all to heck and we either buy it or want to buy it. After this many years I trust my wife to be honest. Id be surprised if she has not protected my ego at some point and would be disappointed if I had put in a good effort and she checked her watch.

To Jen1447 please PM me with any info you can to help me out. If you can point us to a way for her to anal orgasm you will be my sole beneficiary of my pitiful will way down the road. The dirt road if I can joke I was surprised to have her tell me in the last year she liked having me do the *** cheek spank or few during sex be it while she is on top or me behind in the heat of the moment. It was one of the first signs she was starting to open up about what she wanted me to do to her and for her sexually. As well as now she likes some finger anal during but its all dependent if she has enough natural lube from the vagina to use for my finger in the rear. I never ever try a dry digit in the rear because its obvious to anyone that's not cool. What she seems to get excited by is similar to what many couples do I have seen on armature porn clips. I understand its both the physical stimulation plus the mild bad girl thing. Trust me as a man the mild spank dominance thing is a turn on but I also don't want to cross into something we may not be up for. I don't sense she is wanting any further dom stuff. Sometimes when we are making love vs just having hot sex she does not like it and I also understand that making love is tender and emotional. Hot sex is all about cutting loose and blowing the lid off.
And if you have any sources be it books or vid links how to make an anal orgasm PLEASE get them to me. I like it for many reasons. So does she. She cant orgasm that way but tells me its different and she does like it. I have had her come into the bedroom after she showers and shaves her legs and vagina and get on her knees and ask me to make sure she has shaved close enough and tell me she needs me to inspect and then she asks me if I want to do her anal. Only a couple times but we have only enjoyed this for less than 6 months I think. We have done it quite a few times other than that and she has offered it up when she is on her period to satisfy me which is also a new thing that she is open to sex when she is having a minor break from bleeding on her period. She actually let me pull out a tampon and have sex in the middle of the night last month. I think she wanted me to pull it and take the lead and have sex even though she was half asleep. She commented the next day it was different and hot. However she didn't orgasm but I had a massive one.
I hope that isn't too graphic for this site but its the way it is. We have figured out anal isn't really a quickie. Need to get out the Pjour and dilate a bit for foreplay.

As a add on I really enjoy performing oral on my wife (she started going totally shaved in the last year) and its really my favorite meal. I think at times I like it better than she does which makes me think Im not doing something right. I don't go to hard and not to light. I pay attention to the major and minor but the man in the boat is where I like. I also lately do the back door a bit which I also like and she does but even trying to learn from reading and online vids I just cant get her there. So close according to her but not over the edge.

Another long winded post but I now look at a day lost is a good sex session lost. We only have so many available and I want to have everyone we can.

[ItsASecret]

In my experience, when it comes to orgasmic-ness, women have three primary blocking points. The first, for women who aren't multi-orgasmic, is just having more than one orgasm at all. Once they overcome that, the second seems to be stopping at 3 orgasms. Women seem to oftentimes feel like this is some sort of morally self-imposed limit, and fears a being some kind of sex monster lead them to head it off at that point. If they can then overcome that, the third, which is really not so much a blockage as a practicality issue, just becomes stopping when you get tired of it. (This can apply either to sequential multiples or just general sexual activity thruout the course of a day.) The revelation comes when you're able to bridge that one, because it basically takes away any limitation. Practicality still determines when it ends, but it's really liberating to lose the physical constraints. Your wife might like to take that journey

I am curious, you mention 3+ sometimes 10 orgasms at once...how exactly do you define an orgasm? Is it the actual vaginal contraction type orgasms you have or the spirit/energy/"my vag feels better than the rest of my body" type orgasm? Physiologically speaking it is quite difficult to have say 10 orgasms quickly unless you are referring to like 10 orgasms in a day.

I am personally a woman who just cannot have more than one orgasm at a time, I can certainly try but it hurts or there is absolutely no build up 'tingle' down there to even get it going again. My body is basically like nope that is enough for today lol. I have brought it to 2 orgasms in one day with a lot of effort lol but yeah it just is not going to happen sequentially no matter how long a sex session is. Forcing multiples, such as trying to suddenly teach oneself, also makes it much less likely for a woman to have multiples in the first place. I think if a woman does not have that tingly feeling after one orgasm, that definite "oh I can feel an orgasm coming soon" I do not think it can happen without some time in-between...and I do not mean a minute or two.

Millner, you only rarely orgasm from oral? That's a surprise lol, usually women seem to have more luck with it than anything (besides masturbation).

I never ever have, not even close. For me that soft feeling is just not enough, it can go for hours and I would barely notice any feeling to be honest...I need firm hard pressure not soft, barely licking, or the gentle uscking (sucking no matter the pressure is not enough). It is simply a nice feeling but not a feeling that can even remotely get things started in the orgasm department. I am not bothered by this because I understand my body just does not respond to it but a part of me would like to orgasm even one time from it just to experience it. Quite a number of women can orgasm from oral but it is not something definite with all.

[jen1447]

I am curious, you mention 3+ sometimes 10 orgasms at once...how exactly do you define an orgasm? Is it the actual vaginal contraction type orgasms you have or the spirit/energy/"my vag feels better than the rest of my body" type orgasm? Physiologically speaking it is quite difficult to have say 10 orgasms quickly unless you are referring to like 10 orgasms in a day.

I'm definitely talking about the real thing lol. Our physiologies really can vary quite a lot, and multiples of upwards of ten is actually not that uncommon, again if you 'unlock' the capability so to speak. I've read that nearly all women are capable of it physically, it's moreso a matter of mentality and yes biology (things like sensitivity etc.) that limit it. The basic distinction is just that we don't require a refractory period like men before we can go again.

My magic number is 8 lol. The ten + figures come in the daily doses.

I am personally a woman who just cannot have more than one orgasm at a time, I can certainly try but it hurts or there is absolutely no build up 'tingle' down there to even get it going again. My body is basically like nope that is enough for today lol.

There's certainly nothing wrong with that. Sometimes the basics get lost in discussions like these, with the basic here being just that whatever works for you is right.

Forcing multiples, such as trying to suddenly teach oneself, also makes it much less likely for a woman to have multiples in the first place. I think if a woman does not have that tingly feeling after one orgasm, that definite "oh I can feel an orgasm coming soon" I do not think it can happen without some time in-between...and I do not mean a minute or two.

Again, we vary ....in my case, if I let myself relax it will indeed take some time to get there again, but if I'm determined I can do it in a few minutes.

I never ever have, not even close. For me that soft feeling is just not enough, it can go for hours and I would barely notice any feeling to be honest...I need firm hard pressure not soft, barely licking, or the gentle uscking (sucking no matter the pressure is not enough). It is simply a nice feeling but not a feeling that can even remotely get things started in the orgasm department. I am not bothered by this because I understand my body just does not respond to it but a part of me would like to orgasm even one time from it just to experience it. Quite a number of women can orgasm from oral but it is not something definite with all.

What works for you? is it firm hard pressure on the clit, or manual g-spot stimulation, etc.? Also, is your partner good at it?