[Stillness]

I didn't read the whole thread and someone else may have mentioned this, but since every woman in the world is apparently reading Fifty Shades of Grey, maybe the ladies who don't understand how a man could like visual pornography can relate it to how women are drawn to literary pornography. Most men aren't going to get it because they're more visual.

There are some differences, but still a lot of similarities with male and female sexuaity.

[Hugo-B]

I didn't read the whole thread and someone else may have mentioned this, but since every woman in the world is apparently reading Fifty Shades of Grey, maybe the ladies who don't understand how a man could like visual pornography can relate it to how women are drawn to literary pornography. Most men aren't going to get it because they're more visual.

There are some differences, but still a lot of similarities with male and female sexuaity.

I agree, I mentioned in a similar thread: feelings and emotions are to women what visual images are to men. As you say, porn is porn irrespective of whether it comes in the literary or visual form. Personally I'd rather watch a threesome on pornhub than read about Christian Gray's handcuff collection.

[Fallen1]

I didn't read the whole thread and someone else may have mentioned this, but since every woman in the world is apparently reading Fifty Shades of Grey, maybe the ladies who don't understand how a man could like visual pornography can relate it to how women are drawn to literary pornography. Most men aren't going to get it because they're more visual.

There are some differences, but still a lot of similarities with male and female sexuaity.

I doubt that. I for one have not and do not have the desire to read it. Sorry ........... but my husband is all I need.


I think there has been a discussion here before comparing the two - written erotica vs. porn. I think this was the jist of the conversation, ladies correct me if I have it wrong - Although it is very similar the difference is porn is an actual person/people where written is not and those women (most) that do read it picture their S/O when reading it, not the character in the book or as with porn the actual woman/women on screen.

[Stillness]

I like your sentiment Fallen1 and share it. Nothing else compares to my wife.

As far as comparing media, an actual person writes pornographic books. The reader who gets aroused and does whatever else they do, is doing it off of someone else's thoughts. That author is making a sexual connection with them. And I don't know to what extent SO's play in the fantasies that run through women's heads when they read, but it's certainly not %100. If it was they wouldn't need to read the words talking about someone else. It's not very much different from the man who substitutes video for his SO to me. It's still something other than the one you're with.

And are they really fantasizing about their SO's or what they'd like their SO's to be? I have a cousin who linked the lack of intimacy that led to the dissolution of his 15 year marriage partly to his wife's indulgence in romance novels. He couldn't be as good as her fantasy man. I'm not buying the argument that one is better or worse than the other, if that is the argument being made.

[When I was a boy, my cousin's grandparents used to buy him typical children's adventure books, only they would be personalized. He was the protagonist. I, his cat, and his parents would be characters. The setting was his neighborhood. I don't really know how they did it, but they were illustrated well and professional. Since women claim they're just thinking about their husbands, maybe the next hot book could be a personalized one like my cousin used to get. 50 Shades of Yourself?]

[ItsASecret]

I doubt that. I for one have not and do not have the desire to read it. Sorry

I doubt it as well. Women interested in BDSM (at any degree), or the idea of dungeon sex, or humiliation type sex would probably be reading it and quite enjoy it. But I personally have zero interest in the material and I will not be one of the women reading it just like millions of others who will not. If a woman likes the material then great read the heck out of it lol but no not every woman appears to be reading it. It appears that way because it is not difficult to interview a bunch of women and use those positive reviews to represent the whole when selling something.

[DreamP346]

I doubt it as well. Women interested in BDSM (at any degree), or the idea of dungeon sex, or humiliation type sex would probably be reading it and quite enjoy it.

Actually all th people I know who are reading it are very vanilla, so this is really titillating to them. People in the BDSM lifestyle comment that it really doesn't represent them well and don't care for the book.

[Stillness]

When I said that it appeared that every woman was reading it, I didn't mean it literally. The book is very popular largely due to women. It seems that they relate more to literary erotica in general. I was thinking it would give some insight.

So even if this is not suited to you or you don't like any kind of pornography, maybe you can relate to the appeal in other women and then relate that to the appeal in men. I'm just looking for connections, that's all.

[Hopeless Dork]

Meh, the media really hypes that up making it seem like all us women love 50 shades of gray and fabio types books and meh... I'm not into it. I'm a visual chick, and can find porn as arousing as any guy might find it. But I also have the woman gene of needing to feel wanted, desired -- a book can't give me that neither can 1 sided porn.

I think the huge difference is the difference between porn and fantasy. To me, fantasy is something you DREAM up -- it can be from a book, it, etc.. but fantasy is in your head. Fantasy is make believe. Sara jane doe tucker porn star number 29 is not 'fantasy' she's some man's "fantasy" woman perhaps, in that sense of the word.. but she's a living breathing actual person. And I think whether or not men personalize the porn stars they masturbate to, a lot of women do. Its tangible. Its in the web history. Its THAT woman that he ejaculated over last night. Her. Not some random thought. Her. And that can really hurt, for reasons that should be obvious.

[Stillness]

It is obvious to me. But porn is porn, whether it's a book or a movie. I would be disturbed if my wife was watching someone else OR reading someone else for sexual purposes. It would be especially frustrating if I was sexually unfulfilled or even if she was just choosing pornography over me. Saying, "But I think about you," would be small consolation and a weak argument. I'm not some fantasy dude in a book or the "living breathing actual" author who's sexual fantasy she's participating in. Trying to say one type of pornography is worse is like comparing death by suffocation to death by drowning.

As I'm writing this I remember a couple of guys posting on these boards about their wives masturbating or even just seeing a mainstream movie with sex scenes and being disturbed by it because of lack of affection.

:Puts on anti-establishment hat: I'll tell you what's going on here. Just like our culture belittles and overlooks feminine things, it demonizes the masculine. Look at the cutesy title they've tagged onto this phenomenon - "mommy porn." It sounds almost like it's going to bake you some cookies and give you a glass of milk. What is the stuff predominately viewed by men? Hardcore pornography. It sounds like something lurking in a dark alley preying upon the unsuspecting. Why isn't it "daddy porn." Because "slugs and snails and puppy dogs taills, that's what little boys are made of."

[ziggy39]

I can't speak for all men, but usually I find myself thinking, "why isn't my wife that horny?"