[anonymouswhitefemale]

Yes and no. Could it also be that they don't get upset because a dildo is an inanimate object just a piece of rubber etc. He knows his woman is not staring at the screen and wishing she was the one f*ing the person on that screen? .... just a thought.

Could it also be that instead of getting visual pleasure from somewhere else, they are getting PHYSICAL pleasure from somewhere else? To the extent that a vibrating mulitfunction dildo will provide more pleasure than the mans penis? I think men have as much, if not MORE right to be concerned about this.

Yes, and before you even say it I understand that we don't know what is going on in the mind of that woman when she is using that dildo. All I can do is speak for myself and anytime I have "taken care of myself" and needed a little extra help I've always thought of my guy, never anyone else.

Sure, and that's the difference between men and women. Men DON'T think that way. At least, in general men don't think that way.

True but there is one BIG difference. We have the ability to reason, we have a conscience, and we have (well most of us ) have common sense.

Of course animals can reason, have a concience and have a little common sense. Perhaps you havent spent enough time around animals. My cats know right and wrong and they work out the solution to problems, as well as showing emotions. The only difference is that we're more complex. Its not like when we crossed the line from monkey to human suddenly "god" gave us all these things.

That's your opinion.

If you read Carolines post you'd have seen that I was just parodying something that she said which amused me. Evidently you see fit to attack me for it and not her, so congratulations on becoming a bit more like me and sidestepping politeness.

========================================

Everything that I have read and very learned people that I have talked to about this "art" tell a different story. Each is a wonderful actress. They aren't stu*id. But their sex life sucks. They lost that feeling long ago. It is a job and a job only......Let's put it this way, I don't socialize with them.......

There are different realities obviously. All I can say is that I've talked about it with a few 'workers' (were at uni at the time) and they said they enjoyed their work and that the money was great.

I use Eric very sparingly. Used him last night... My husband is much older. He is something else. With as sexual as I am, I could have sex anytime he wanted it but I wouldn't...Because like anything else, it would lose something special about this hot relationship. The wild part of me would not drive him off the wall and I am sure that it would hurt me too. But this does not mean that my vaginal walls do not want. This does not mean that they don't come alive and sometimes I ejaculate when he puts his arms around me....It means that I am a very sexual woman and that man just plain turns me to mush....

My husband is my lover. He considers a vibrator or a dildo a threat to his fulfilling my needs. Besides having sex two to three times a week, we also go to bed and he fingers me out probably two more times....This is hot and I have to ejaculate because very simply, I am too much woman and have to be relieved. This I can see with other women here and it will grow. He wants to do this and I cannot mention the word vibrator or dildo or it can bring on one heated discussion. He is my lover 100%.....

I don't feel like I really need to say much about the complete hypocracy in your words. You despise porn and say you couldn't live with it as it would hurt you, yet you willingly do something very similar even though you know your husband hates it and feels threatened by it. Also, you say about how high your sex drive is - what would you do if your husband wouldn't finger you every day or whatever? Go to the spare room with "Eric". Just replace Eric with Porn and you have the same situation. You are thinking about this in a very one sided manner.. By your rationale he should leave you.

[Fallen1]

Of course animals can reason, have a concience and have a little common sense. Perhaps you havent spent enough time around animals. My cats know right and wrong and they work out the solution to problems, as well as showing emotions. The only difference is that we're more complex. Its not like when we crossed the line from monkey to human suddenly "god" gave us all these things.

I've spent plenty of time around animal. I have raised quite a few liters of dogs. Yes, animals are smarter than we give them credit for for sure.

If you read Carolines post you'd have seen that I was just parodying something that she said which amused me. Evidently you see fit to attack me for it and not her, so congratulations on becoming a bit more like me and sidestepping politeness.

Since when is telling someone something is there opinion considered impolite????

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Since when is telling someone something is there opinion considered impolite????

I just thought it was funny that I said the same thing as caroline pretty much but you chose to take issue with me not her.

What I wrote was also a joke, hence the two grins and a wink...

Trust me, I'm not offended ...

[C]

Could it also be that instead of getting visual pleasure from somewhere else, they are getting PHYSICAL pleasure from somewhere else? To the extent that a vibrating mulitfunction dildo will provide more pleasure than the mans penis? I think men have as much, if not MORE right to be concerned about this.


Sure, and that's the difference between men and women. Men DON'T think that way. At least, in general men don't think that way.




Of course animals can reason, have a concience and have a little common sense. Perhaps you havent spent enough time around animals. My cats know right and wrong and they work out the solution to problems, as well as showing emotions. The only difference is that we're more complex. Its not like when we crossed the line from monkey to human suddenly "god" gave us all these things.


If you read Carolines post you'd have seen that I was just parodying something that she said which amused me. Evidently you see fit to attack me for it and not her, so congratulations on becoming a bit more like me and sidestepping politeness.

========================================

There are different realities obviously. All I can say is that I've talked about it with a few 'workers' (were at uni at the time) and they said they enjoyed their work and that the money was great.


I don't feel like I really need to say much about the complete hypocracy in your words. You despise porn and say you couldn't live with it as it would hurt you, yet you willingly do something very similar even though you know your husband hates it and feels threatened by it. Also, you say about how high your sex drive is - what would you do if your husband wouldn't finger you every day or whatever? Go to the spare room with "Eric". Just replace Eric with Porn and you have the same situation. You are thinking about this in a very one sided manner.. By your rationale he should leave you.

But I don't despise Porn. I watch it if I feel like it...Back two years ago when I was booted off I was upset by what I saw... but Anon, what has happened to me in 2 years and with the new knowledge of life that has been awakened, I accept many more things about life...Neither of us despise it, we just don't need it....You do, but we don't...I am all the Porn that he needs....You do not know a woman like I am, so you could not understand this. I do not need toys...He touches me and I am alive the way that all women should be. I have found this place in myself and you, unless you were in the kind of heat that I am for a person, could never understand this.

He does not have to finger me...He wants to...I am sexually on fire and can take him anytime of the day...I believe that all women were born to be Insatiable, but along the line we sure have turned some corners...I am sexually alive because he keeps me sexually alive. Frequent sex makes frequent sex. I have turned an older man to a younger man by sex...That is the name of happiness. Anon, we are one...We can't keep our hands off each other...I am a fun person...I just don't go around half dressed...He adores me because I am a bundle of laughs and he loves me as much as the day we met....We have sex because we hunger for each other...He has made me the way that I am....Without him I am dead....If someday he could not service me, then I would spend the rest of my days remembering what we were and have been...Then I would go to my site and read about our love and smile, for we had truly known the days of wine and roses.....Eric may come out sometimes but very seldom...I had him out last night for the first time in a long time...I don't want to make it a habit..I love his fingers, tongue and his precious body.

Anon, try not to make something good, something bad.....We are pure sexual love without a flaw or a fault.....I guess that is just the way we were supposed to be.....Take care, Caroline

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'll skip the porn bit...



Anonymouswhitefemale

What I meant was that women seem to "wake up" sexually at 30+. Hormonally speaking, men's drive peaks at 18-20, wheras women are after 30. Hence why there's often a gap in libido.

I don't know when a woman wakes up "sexually" to be honest ANON.

Let's take a scenario of " randy boys and non one night stand girls"

What i do "think" is that men 18-20 are **** "randy" and most as they are men can take as many partners as they want as far as one night stands go for instance, as it is perceived in their circle to be "cool", not all, just observation of my own youth....

But, not "all" take the time to learn the art of sex, the lovemaking component, and typically a woman at that age based on the scenario, is into relationships and has that "randy" guy fall for her but his sexual antics are still in "randy" mode as to what he has been accustomed to.

So, she has no idea about a lot of things about herself as it is not explored.

Now, understand i am saying from the above scenario of course there are guys within that age group that "want to know" and learn, read, listen and work towards a mutually sexual relationship on those grounds i have read them here, i know they exist..

So, taking my scenario a woman may reach her sexual peak at 30, 40, 50,60 etc... Based on the partners she has had in her life..

And a man, still wants sex until he needs Viagra and then he still wants sex to. But as he matures, he comprehends more of what's involved with sexual stimulation, timing, positions, intensity, and searches even more knowledge.

But at the end of the day, in my opinion age is not relevant, two good lovers combined at any age, can be at their sexual peak if they are both knowledgeable, wanting, desiring and connect in this fashion.


This can happen at any age..

Just my opinion.

Prostitution? I wonder there though where age is in place the difference.

That being both you and Caroline tell a different story about women in this area.

A younger woman starting out in this game, "escorting" will see the excitement of the money for sure and if she is not concerned about using her body to make her that money that's her choice. The money becomes the focus, those shoes, the dress, the car etc all so much quicker to obtain than she ever dreamed of...... It is a fantasy in itself.

The woman who has been in the game for a while, loses that dream, fantasy as she has had all of that, but usually no "love" just sex, performance, acting, for that money and hense i think it is fair to say that she becomes a different person without feelings, as she can't feel, there is no passion, no kissing just doing her "job".

And dildo's....

I agree with Fallen1 on the fact that it is a "rubber item" not nudity in front of a man's face in it's truest form.

I also agree that men may certainly not like the usage of one due to it's shape and size especially if the dildo is bigger, wider than he is it could be crushing.

I also agree that as a man needs to masterbate so does a woman, but here's the thing, a woman can use her fingers but it's harder to do in the right position to get the same feeling as that of a man's penis, deep penetration to the back of her cervix.

A man can use his hand/s freely and easily to get the same result, to cum and feel an orgasm.

Perhaps then a woman should be conscious of the size of the dildo she purchases if in a relationship as not to offend and the man should be conscious it is easier to masturbate for a woman with the length involved as aposed to her fingers and also as it frees her up to be able to touch her clitoris for added stimulation and double orgasms than it is, for her to purely use her fingers and spend all of her focus and concentration on trying to orgasm with that alone as she twists her body in order to do so, instead of being relaxed and exploring all avenues of her body....

Now, as a 44 year old, experimenting with my body, i know what i prefer! Full exploration made easy so that i can experience........ until i do it for real again of course, Then i agree again with Fallen1, i won't need any of it, well except for the odd ocassion just like you guys where he's not around and i'm lusting after him....

Sex is beautiful, our bodies are beautiful, life is beautiful..... Why not i say....

CW

[katty1]

I do not believe in prostitution. It is a woman selling her body for money. I see no good in this yet it has been here since the beginning of mankind. To have to use this precious part of me to service another man as a job is about as much mental pain as I can imagine...Kind of takes that road back to rape.

Porn is an evil that is there to be both good and bad...It will be here and exist as long as we all have our sexual bodies...We, as man, are filled with lust for each other...The problem here is trying to identify if we are man or beast. Beast has a tendency to rule...I believe that it does not belong in a committed relationship when only one person desires it... Seeing both of us enjoy Porn sometimes this is great...Actually, we are a matching set......

Masturbation...If both agree on it fine...To have a partner who you love, sit in front of a computer and jerk off in front of you or even alone sucks. It would tear me apart. I take care of him...I will do what he needs. No other woman has a right to him..I am this man's porn...I will be to him everything that any woman can be, and I would not allow him to waste it on a two bit tramp, showing her stuff on a computer.. The same thing would include me playing with myself while looking at male Porn.

Sometimes it is so hard for me being such an open minded woman, trying to figure out how two people can be so in love with each other and not be able to satisfy their sexual needs. For me, fingers, tongues and body parts drive me wild....Makes you wonder about all of us...What if we had been born back in the beginning of time........

Hi Caroline - having just read some of the posts im absolutely FLABBERGASTED at some of the responses to this "Porn/masturbation/prostitute" debate .....Caroline ...i can tell you that i really do greatly enjoy reading all your posts and will continue to do so your a special lady ....but MY GOSH ...i disagree with you here! but hey! thats why were here different opinions ect ...
I dont quite know were to start , ive only nread page 2 on this topic so far so...bare with me as i just make my first post ...
Ok - firstly Porn !! please do correct me if i am wrong ...i gather from the majority of your previous postings (enjoyed them all) and indeed your posting on this topic ...that youve made it ASOLUTELY clear that you enjoy watching porn ect with your husband ...im recalling you discussing Pammy Anderson/Tommy Lee and you sort of saying you "shagged like rabbbits" ect all th way through (of course you didnt use that term but something along the lines ect...anyways, you catch my drift . ..ok so we have established you have porn in your home and you both watch it ....but you make it perfectly clear that you dont "allow" or want your partner to watch it alone only when you are with him and you are getting pleasure too ....ie: you not happy with him having pleasure on his own ....this is what i just dont understand ? if you think hard about this dont you think this is giving CONFUSING signals to your man?? or it could be deemed as CONTROLLING behaviour ??? or even teasing? or we would use the term in UK "winding him up" with the greatest respect Caroline ....what this could be seen as is ....selfish !! i say this because ....it seems clear you dont want your husband to masturbate on his own ...or enjoy his own body...get any form of pleasure barr having sex with you ...the confusing signals to the man are your allowing porn and indeed your both screwing to it ...getting off on it ...agin weve established that ...dont you think that by acting in such a way your giving him the RED LIGHT or the green light ("go ahead") YOU KNOW WHAT IM SAYING ...to watch it alone you come across as very open and willing to do most things with your husband BUT are totally unwilling to acccept this is a basic NEED of a man ...dont you think no i should say my opionion only that if you STIFLE a man suffacate him ...its almost seems you are controlling that slowly resentment builds , anger builds , i am sure you are a beutiful and obviously very sexual/sensul woman BUT i cannot see this problem you are willing to talk and do most sexual things use dildo ect to get YOUR orgasm ...BUT agin you will not let your husband masturbate ...why ? your doing it caroline !!! and if your watching porn with him isnt it selfish to say ....OK WE HAD A GREAT SHAG TO THAT ....but ....they are getting (the movies) locked away now and YOUR NOT watching unless i am with you and I say you can ??? god that must be frustrating ...but also i see it as controlling i dont know what any others think reading!! You say \"no other woman has a right to him" your husband ...dont you think that you can be getting too worked up over this if you said that comment and a woman in work was trying to seduce your husband or your husband was having an affair id understand ...but we are taling about a porno film!!! thats all !!! basically im taking it you are livid when you think he could be masturbating? am i correct ? are you angry because you think he might fantazize about something else ...anything ...but you at that particualr time ...you are aware caroline im sure you are that even if you were in bed with your husband and you were the one to be masturbating him he could STILL be thinking of something other than the situation he was in or the person he was making love to and it was turning him on hence the fact you have a great sex session !! do you see my point you say quote "i would not allowe him to waste it on a two bit TRAMP ??? i dont get that at all caroline as you are watching porno yourself with your husband when you are shagging your husband to these films both of you watching do you look at the screen and think >>>"oh you too bit tramp"!!! and then have a massive orgasm ...because youve stated you enjoy them and get off on them ...you also stated he dosent masturbate or he never masturbates your present husband im i correct ...but HOW caroline can you know that ??? your speaking for him ...unless a woman spends 24 hours a day in the same room with a man how would you know he hasnt im sorry going to be crude "Knocked one out" anywhere in a public convienience , in the lavortory ....or ANYWHERE i mean it only takes a few mins i imagine ...it just seems to me certainly over the masturbation issue its about controlling behavior and it must be so confusing and frustrating even cruel dare i suggest !!! to have prn in the house but only allowed to watch or masturbate when with wife ...does your husbnd know your using a dildo !!! again caroline there offence intended whatsoever ....i just im very confused and surprised at your comments kattyx

[cwx9b8]

Thank you

Hi this is my first post ever and I am so thrilled I found this site. I would like to start off by saying thank you to katty. I am the first to admit that I am a very jealous person and very protective of my husband. It made me so good to see someonelse think its normal men look at porn. I recently discovered my husband was looking at porn on the net. Unfortunatly it was after a huge fight and all I could feel was these women he was looking at were my replacements. Now that I have seen that he is only normal it makes me feel so much better you have no idea.

[katty1]

What I meant was that women seem to "wake up" sexually at 30+. Hormonally speaking, men's drive peaks at 18-20, wheras women are after 30. Hence why there's often a gap in libido.


I just mean that once a woman is sexually awakened she is going to want to follow it up, and will feel strangled if she cant. Just like a man would. That's all I'm talking about.

I would reply more fully but I'm knackered and I'm going to sleep.

A.W.F Arrrhh i see what you mean...thanks for making it clear . Yes i agree with you totally once sexually awakened she will want to follow it up! but saying that ive had a lot of years go inbetween (i mean a number sometimes a good number of years go by ) betweeen having sex (intercourse) but i do agree with you women get more sexually confident with age ...agin thanx for clarifying issue ...katty

[C]

Hi Caroline - having just read some of the posts im absolutely FLABBERGASTED at some of the responses to this "Porn/masturbation/prostitute" debate .....Caroline ...i can tell you that i really do greatly enjoy reading all your posts and will continue to do so your a special lady ....but MY GOSH ...i disagree with you here! but hey! thats why were here different opinions ect ...
I dont quite know were to start , ive only nread page 2 on this topic so far so...bare with me as i just make my first post ...

Here Katty: I am bearing with you. First I will agree that I am a special lady as you are a special lady...That is what makes us all unique...

Ok - firstly Porn !! please do correct me if i am wrong ...i gather from the majority of your previous postings (enjoyed them all) and indeed your posting on this topic ...that youve made it ASOLUTELY clear that you enjoy watching porn ect with your husband ...im recalling you discussing Pammy Anderson/Tommy Lee and you sort of saying you "shagged like rabbbits" ect all th way through (of course you didnt use that term but something along the lines ect...anyways, you catch my drift . ..ok so we have established you have porn in your home and you both watch it ....

I stated that in Scranton, Pa while touring a big train depot we watched Tommy and Pamela on pay TV...We did not "shag"....We fuc*ed three times...Hot stuff...We have watched two Porn films in our home..Wrote up both of them on my site. One on the living room sofa where I ejaculated all over it and did not care and one downstairs in the family room where I was sitting at one end of the large curved sofa and looked over at him and he was taking his pants off. I was sure game as I was being turned on by the women eating each other...There we went down on the floor and screwed as we watched the hot film...I also have three or four brand new and not out of the box put away...We just don't need them so don't use them....That is the extent of our Porn.

but you make it perfectly clear that you dont "allow" or want your partner to watch it alone only when you are with him and you are getting pleasure too ....ie: you not happy with him having pleasure on his own ....this is what i just dont understand ? if you think hard about this dont you think this is giving CONFUSING signals to your man?? or it could be deemed as CONTROLLING behaviour ??? or even teasing? or we would use the term in UK "winding him up" with the greatest respect Caroline ....what this could be seen as is ....selfish !! i say this because ....it seems clear you dont want your husband to masturbate on his own ...or enjoy his own body...get any form of pleasure barr having sex with you .

My husband has never in our married life wanted to masturbate. We have always taken care of each other...You see we are hot sexual love...I do everything for him that he needs and he does the same thing for me...Up until two years ago I never owned a vibrator...When I tried one I love it...BUT up until three years ago I had not let loose like I have...To put it plainly Katty, I am all the woman that any man can want....Pretty plain but I think you can get my drift....

..the confusing signals to the man are your allowing porn and indeed your both screwing to it ...getting off on it ...agin weve established that ...dont you think that by acting in such a way your giving him the RED LIGHT or the green light ("go ahead") YOU KNOW WHAT IM SAYING ...to watch it alone you come across as very open and willing to do most things with your husband BUT are totally unwilling to acccept this is a basic NEED of a man ...dont you think no i should say my opionion only that if you STIFLE a man suffacate him ...its almost seems you are controlling that slowly resentment builds , anger builds , i am sure you are a beutiful and obviously very sexual/sensul woman BUT i cannot see this problem you are willing to talk and do most sexual things use dildo ect to get YOUR orgasm .

You still cannot understand two people in love...He needs nothing...He wants for nothing...I never use a dildo, I have only used Eric a $200 vibrator with a short handle to tickle my clit and go up and caress my g-spot and fu*k my g-spot if I want it...Girl, I can turn a man wild....My husband is the happiest man in the world and I know how to take him there.

..BUT agin you will not let your husband masturbate ...why ? your doing it caroline !!! and if your watching porn with him isnt it selfish to say ....OK WE HAD A GREAT SHAG TO THAT ....but ....they are getting (the movies) locked away now and YOUR NOT watching unless i am with you and I say you can ??? god that must be frustrating ...but also i see it as controlling i dont know what any others think reading!! You say \"no other woman has a right to him" your husband ...dont you think that you can be getting too worked up over this if you said that comment and a woman in work was trying to seduce your husband or your husband was having an affair id understand ...but we are taling about a porno film!!! thats all !!! basically im taking it you are livid when you think he could be masturbating? am i correct ? are you angry because you think he might fantazize about something else ...anything ...but you at that particualr time ...you are aware caroline im sure you are that even if you were in bed with your husband and you were the one to be masturbating him he could STILL be thinking of something other than the situation he was in or the person he was making love to and it was turning him on hence the fact you have a great sex session !! do you see my point you say quote "i would not allowe him to waste it on a two bit TRAMP ??? i dont get that at all caroline as you are watching porno yourself with your husband when you are shagging your husband to these films both of you watching do you look at the screen and think >>>"oh you too bit tramp"!!! and then have a massive orgasm ...because youve stated you enjoy them and get off on them ...you also stated he dosent masturbate or he never masturbates your present husband im i correct ...but HOW caroline can you know that ??? your speaking for him ...unless a woman spends 24 hours a day in the same room with a man how would you know he hasnt im sorry going to be crude "Knocked one out" anywhere in a public convienience , in the lavortory ....or ANYWHERE i mean it only takes a few mins i imagine ...it just seems to me certainly over the masturbation issue its about controlling behavior and it must be so confusing and frustrating even cruel dare i suggest !!! to have prn in the house but only allowed to watch or masturbate when with wife ...does your husbnd know your using a dildo !!! again caroline there offence intended whatsoever ....i just im very confused and surprised at your comments kattyx

I appreciate what you are trying to say but girl, you and I walk different walks...Honey, don't read my posts anymore and put me on ignore because I am just plain confusing the heck out of you......AND YOU ME....

You say you are confused and surprised by my comments.....well I guess I am not by yours.....Take care....

[katty1]

Hi this is my first post ever and I am so thrilled I found this site. I would like to start off by saying thank you to katty. I am the first to admit that I am a very jealous person and very protective of my husband. It made me so good to see someonelse think its normal men look at porn. I recently discovered my husband was looking at porn on the net. Unfortunatly it was after a huge fight and all I could feel was these women he was looking at were my replacements. Now that I have seen that he is only normal it makes me feel so much better you have no idea.

Hi cwx9b8 ....im new to posting myself ...but im really pleased i did . I have the same feelings myself i have jelousy in me to some extent and of course protective of those i love but you know, i think its how far that you take it ...those emotions when they manifest and how we deal with them can either destroy us ..make us physically ill even !! or if a person is "well grounded" "well adjusted" we are able to deal with them and kind of "check ourselves" when the green eyed monster rears its little head !saying everything i have said on my postings i really do understand and can imagine how hurtful it must of been or just the general shock when you first discovered your husband watching porn ..its natural to feel that way ...i think it really is fantastic the way you have delt with it and that you know in your heart that they are not replacing you...and in no way changes his feelings for you, his wife, lover and mother of his children if you have any ...i suppose if we think (us women) its impossible to explain the reasons why for evrything in life...why did that happen ...why did he do such and such ..and so on and i suppose that can apply to anything in life....i thank you for your post ...your a good wife ...relax and dont worry ...best wishes katty