[atskitty2]

Not sure I agree with that statement as a whole SA (that gals are doing more heartbreaking), but it's interesting that you hold that observation/opinion at all.
I CAN agree that it isn't going to get easier, probably much more difficult.

[DreamP346]

Just because he is opening up, doesn't mean he wants a relationship. Maybe he wants to be friends. Also, most guys don't publicize they are only after sex. Even the ones who are probably have to act like they want more to try to get a woman to have sex. Don't assume. Ask and be clear what you are looking for. The truth is anything is possible. You may meet the right guy who also happens to be younger than you.

I know somebody who was a super player and he was also very emotional and sharing with his feelings. That was probably why he was able to get women in bed so easily. But he never promised them anything. So don't assume being open and vulnerable means wanting commitment.

[atskitty2]

I agree sp, and only time will tell for sure what either of us wants from the interaction. What leads me to believe he is interested in more than sex, is mostly his questions of me, not just his ability to show vulnerability. I don't think I'm assuming, I'm going with what he has presented so far. But, it could be that I've read him wrong, it is too early to tell.

For now, I'm going to believe my instinct on it and be aggressively honest about how I feel. Since I've ruled out having any fwb situation, I don't know if I could form a future with him...and he deserves to know that.

[effy2014]

This has been an interesting thread. No matter how sexy you have become on the outside and how much you want to experiment with your sexuality, the limitations are ingrained in your personality. You are who you are. Finding the ideal sexual partner for you might be no less of a challenge than finding a long term boyfriend. At least you seem to be having more fun.

[jns]

Kitty, I agree with effy that this thread has been interesting. I believe you have found out new things about yourself since starting this new direction. Best wishes on your continuing journey.

[atskitty2]

That occurred to me effy, that finding that combo may be terribly difficult. It's another pattern of thinking now, as I moved so quickly through that "phase" or process, and wondering what types of things I will "compromise" on. Because it's clear, something has to give. I don't have terribly unrealistic standards, in my opinion, but the likelihood of finding someone who satisfies me in all these aspects...
I've realized how really particular I am. Not in a bad way, I don't think, but I really am selective, and maybe too much so. Maybe it's just part of that relaxing thing I'm working on...

Not saying I'm giving up, and not saying I'm "compromising" in the harsher sense of the word. But, maybe it's just time to broaden the acceptable parameters? I'm not sure...this is yet another field to explore about myself & my own expectations.

[a_dub]

If its just sex you're after, I might be DTF.

[Something_Awesome]

If its just sex you're after, I might be DTF.

Ok so... I am not even going to touch the "DTF" part because I feel like you saying that you "might" be DTF is even more offensive than saying you're "DTF." It sounds like you think you are in a position to choose to have sex with her when you say "might." You are not in a position to choose. Your position would be on your knees begging (while still expecting to get rejected) her for sex.

IMO, you need to work on your delusional perception of a person's value. I hope this helps.

[effy2014]

That occurred to me effy, that finding that combo may be terribly difficult. It's another pattern of thinking now, as I moved so quickly through that "phase" or process, and wondering what types of things I will "compromise" on. Because it's clear, something has to give. I don't have terribly unrealistic standards, in my opinion, but the likelihood of finding someone who satisfies me in all these aspects...
I've realized how really particular I am. Not in a bad way, I don't think, but I really am selective, and maybe too much so. Maybe it's just part of that relaxing thing I'm working on...

Not saying I'm giving up, and not saying I'm "compromising" in the harsher sense of the word. But, maybe it's just time to broaden the acceptable parameters? I'm not sure...this is yet another field to explore about myself & my own expectations.

Most people, and I will include myself in this category, do not believe that they are "too selective" when, in reality, they are highly selective. The selectivity is not in the broad categories of acceptability but in the specific traits that meet the category. The devil is always in the details. There is nothing wrong with being selective . . . it just narrows down the field which is already inherently narrowed by geography, timing, age etc.

If you have decided to broaden the acceptable parameters, why not do so in the context of a finding a relationship rather than a sexual fling? Lowering your expectations to find a sex partner seems an unsatisfying proposition. I would also think that, in most respects (perhaps other than age) the selection criteria are pretty much the same. I am keenly interested in the results of your journey.

[atskitty2]

That is precisely what I meant-that I'm broadening my parameters for a relationship. I've essentially given up on the sexual "fling". I've resolved to move forward with sex a little earlier in a relationship when the time comes...that's one of the changes I'm making. I'm not intending to fast forward dramatically, but just not to dismiss the idea of it proceeding to a sexual nature earlier, as in weeks, not months along.

Again, I'm troubled with how truly few men really have the ability to turn me on...that I'm really attracted to. So, that is ever-present on my mind. Not sure what to do about THAT!