[atskitty2]

Please don't apologize Sweetie, I understand it is hard to talk about this stuff, and even more so in a new place, with people you're unsure will be helpful and kind to you. <br />
Please feel free to share, but yes, it is the internet, so the whole world can potentially view your info. The regulars here in this forum have goals to help and will be honest in their advice<br />
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There are some ladies here who can help, and some gentlemen to offer good insights as well.<br />
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I have no time to comment further at this point. I will check in tmrw.

[Ashlee T.]

Yes, there's the ole beaming light. If I never had an orgasm, I can't say I'd be super enthused about sex either. Yes, there are times in any loving relationship where one of you (or both of you) won't achieve orgasm, but if that's the norm then the desire for sex will fizzle and understandably so.

It sounds like it's time to do some experimenting!! My FIRST ever orgasm was achieved using a toy and that was after I got out of a 5 year relationship. I didn't start fully experiencing orgasms until my mid twenties. At a "girls night" I hosted for my friends recently we got on this discussion and I was shocked at how many of them have never had an orgasm. So you are not alone. Experimenting on your own will give you a chance to relax enough to "get there". Then ,you can carry that into the bedroom. If you're faking it, then it's time to stop.

There is nothing wrong with you. But sex is not just about him getting off. It can be an awesome and wonderful thing if the focus is on BOTH people.

Are other aspects of your relationship good? Are you happy? Do you feel loved and cherished by him?

[Carlabd01_]

Yes i think everything is fine, not perfect we do have issues but its ok, but sexually things keep getting worst last night he told me that he was really bored and it made me feel really bad because i dont know what else to do

[Ashlee T.]

Well I'm sure he can tell you're not really enjoying yourself. I'm also sure that your lack of orgasm causes a lack of enthusiasm and little desire to try new things, etc. Finding your "Big O" is going to be super important for you. :-)

[Stillness]

What changed after the children? Was it good before?

[Carlabd01_]

Yes i guess so... i just dont know how to find it hehe.
And well since we started really young we couldnt get enough of each other and it was exciting but after we had kids my sexual desire just disappeared i dont even masturbate anymore.

[atskitty2]

So, maybe start with a chat with your doc, make sure there's no physical reason for the low desire. Talk to them about hormone checks and other labs to be sure nothing is wrong.<br />
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I'm guessing it's all a mental thing for you. There must be some desire in you to "right the ship", or you'd not be here seeking advice.<br />
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Have you talked to your husband about all this?

[Carlabd01_]

Ive tried but he gets really upset because he thinks that i dont find him atractive anymore, he doesnt understand so it makes it even harder for me

[atskitty2]

Well, that certainly isn't helping matters. communication is so important in sexual matters.<br />
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Can you tell me a bit about how the conversation goes? What you said, what he said, exactly?

[jns]

When you masturbate, why do you stop short of orgasm?