[Maisie Dayz]

Not the same thing at all. In fact, not even close. This is not about oral or not, it's about pleasure, and fulfillment.


The reality is that women don't have the mechanisms in place to orgasm as quickly and as easily as men do. It is much more difficult for a women, and often, oral is required for them to do so. As the OP states, If he can't get it done with his Penis, and he loves her, he should dive.

I myself, being a man, would not insist that my gf perform oral on me, but I would for her regardless.

Yes, I agree with both your points - sex is about pleasure & fulfilment and women have more difficulty having an orgasm through penetrative sex. However, he should 'only dive' if she wishes, not an insistence. Personally I wouldn't want oral sex every time, it lacks imagination and besides, I get as much pleasure from my oh reaching climax, even if I don't. It's not just a physical feeling but an emotional/mental connection too, for me anyway. Each to their own I guess.

[amy40]

I have mastubated with a vibrator :/

don't use a vibrator, or at least take batteries out
a vibrator is too much stimulation

if you get too used to too much stimulation, perhaps that is why you don't feel pleasure during sex

[mbx1200]

Yes, I agree with both your points - sex is about pleasure & fulfilment and women have more difficulty having an orgasm through penetrative sex. However, he should 'only dive' if she wishes, not an insistence. Personally I wouldn't want oral sex every time, it lacks imagination and besides, I get as much pleasure from my oh reaching climax, even if I don't. It's not just a physical feeling but an emotional/mental connection too, for me anyway. Each to their own I guess.

If you look back at my previous post, I mention that penetrative sex is important for the reasons you mention. Most of my commenting has been from the point of view of women that I have had relationships with in the past. Oral and intimate sex are both important.

A huge percentage of women out there will say that they are not satisfied with their partner's performance. Not all of course, but there are plenty. A lot of guys are not willing to dive, even if their girl wants them to. That's sad.

[WaveRider]

A huge percentage of women out there will say that they are not satisfied with their partner's performance. Not all of course, but there are plenty. A lot of guys are not willing to dive, even if their girl wants them to. That's sad.

Diving isn't the issue. It's knowing what to do while between a woman's legs that is.

I've had more than one woman, including my g/f, tell me that nearly all men have no clue how to go down on a woman. My g/f told me that her ex-husband used to frustrate her. He was willing to go down on her, but he had no clue of what he was doing. She can have 6 or more oral sex orgasms. She loves it. She has told me that I'm the only man who has made her orgasm from oral sex. Thankfully for her, many, many years ago a woman taught me what needs doing.

Men have told me that they prefer their women completely shaved so they can see what they're doing. That's BS. Very few women I've dated were completely shaved. They rest had pubic hair. I've had no problem with my tongue finding their clits. My g/f doesn't shave bare, and I can find her orgasm trigger every single time, with or without lights.

[WaveRider]

don't use a vibrator, or at least take batteries out
a vibrator is too much stimulation

if you haven't done this yet, on a non sex night have him massage your whole body and get really relaxed, then start massage down there, you can finger yourself (as you know the right spot) while he penetrates you with his fingers only (usually two) .have him read ahead of time how to find g spot and right way to stroke....let yourself have all the pleasure without worrying about having sex with him that night

Last year, my g/f wanted a vibrator for her birthday. I bought her an expensive one. I believe I paid $150 for it. She loves it. It has a clit stimulator. It has a rechargeable battery. It's waterproof. She can take it in a bath. It has multiple speeds and vibrations. She has explosive G-spot orgasms with it. Even better, she's in an elevated plane of ecstasy when I use it on her.

Now she wants a butt plug. She does enjoy anal sex, although I haven't had it with her. I will slide a well lubricated finger inside of her butt while another finger massages the inner ridges of her vajayjay while I'm licking her clit. Those orgasms are explosive. So for her b-day, which is in 3 weeks, I'm going to buy her an excellent butt plug.

[mbx1200]

Diving isn't the issue. It's knowing what to do while between a woman's legs that is.

I've had more than one woman, including my g/f, tell me that nearly all men have no clue how to go down on a woman. My g/f told me that her ex-husband used to frustrate her. He was willing to go down on her, but he had no clue of what he was doing. She can have 6 or more oral sex orgasms. She loves it. She has told me that I'm the only man who has made her orgasm from oral sex. Thankfully for her, many, many years ago a woman taught me what needs doing.

Men have told me that they prefer their women completely shaved so they can see what they're doing. That's BS. Very few women I've dated were completely shaved. They rest had pubic hair. I've had no problem with my tongue finding their clits. My g/f doesn't shave bare, and I can find her orgasm trigger every single time, with or without lights.

LOL, yes, well guess what? I didn't have a clue to how to do it either, until my first girlfriend taught me how. What I learned, has worked very well, on all other women I performed on. Women have to take the lead here, and men need not be arrogant and listen. Whether men do or not, is another story.

[mbx1200]

Last year, my g/f wanted a vibrator for her birthday. I bought her an expensive one. I believe I paid $150 for it. She loves it. It has a clit stimulator. It has a rechargeable battery. It's waterproof. She can take it in a bath. It has multiple speeds and vibrations. She has explosive G-spot orgasms with it. Even better, she's in an elevated plane of ecstasy when I use it on her.

Now she wants a butt plug. She does enjoy anal sex, although I haven't had it with her. I will slide a well lubricated finger inside of her butt while another finger massages the inner ridges of her vajayjay while I'm licking her clit. Those orgasms are explosive. So for her b-day, which is in 3 weeks, I'm going to buy her an excellent butt plug.

LOL, well, I basically use the exact same techniques as you do, except that all the women I have been with wanted more than 1 finger in their vajayjay. Of course I always gave them the courtesy of washing both of my hands extremely well, including taking a finger nail brush to my fingers. Every single girl that I have ever been with has enjoyed the addition of anal during oral sex with a lubed finger. I usually start off by licking their clit and then increase the intensity and pressure on it. I always start with 1 finger, then 2, then 3 and then 4. When I start with the first finger, I try to hit their g-spot which usually has ridges on it by this point. Once I have all 4 fingers in, I will increase pressure and speed slowly ( sometimes I make it last for a while) I can do this to a girl for over an hour. They love it, and they can easily go for that long and longer, By then they will have cummed a bunch of times. With increased pressure and speed you can bring it to an end, where, you know, they are all tingly, and don't want any more.

[WaveRider]

LOL, yes, well guess what? I didn't have a clue to how to do it either, until my first girlfriend taught me how. What I learned, has worked very well, on all other women I performed on. Women have to take the lead here, and men need not be arrogant and listen. Whether men do or not, is another story.

Extremely well written.

[WaveRider]

Hi mbx1200,

One of the reasons I haven't had anal sex with my g/f is because of fecal matter issues. With just my finger in her butt, when she's done cumming, I have to scrub my hands. When she's had anal sex, she has had to shower with men to assure their members were clean. She never relied on them to do it. She cleaned them herself. When she was younger, dudes could have sex all night long. So before they had vaginal sex with her after anal sex, their members had to be clean to prevent a very serious infection.

I am going to buy her a butt plug, but I have no clue of what to buy.

I'd guess that she's had anal sex with maybe a half-dozen dudes, maybe a few more. She's told me a zillion times that men love it. As long as they had properly prepared her and used a lot of lubrication, she enjoyed it. I know that she's told me that men love it so I'd be enticed to try it. One day, I might. But it's the extensive scrubbing after that has shied me away. That and if I'm good for only one time, she'll want it in her vajayjay.

I've just remembered this: she has told me that after boyfriends had anal sex with her a few times, they lost interest it in. Only one of her former boyfriends wanted it a lot. She was in love with him, so he got it a lot.

I do know that if she's not in the mood (read: slightly drunk) for anal sex, she'll not allow a dude to do it. My guess is alcohol relaxes her in an area that would need maximum relaxing.

[jns]

My boyfriend is unfortunately not a fan of giving oral. He did it a couple times when we first started dating but he hates it so much that it makes him terrible at it so I don't even ask. I was spoiled with oral sex in my last relationship but I ended up just wanting that instead of penetration since penetration doesn't feel like anything to me so we ended up spending 5 years together only performing oral sex on each other. lol. What a 5 years that was. I am just trying to find some way to keep me from resenting sex and ruining this relationship. This one is something special.

Oral sex on a woman isn't always doing exactly the same thing. You may use the same basic techniques, but some times you may have to change it up a bit depending on her responses or lack there of. I'm sorry that your bf doesn't step up his game and learn how to bring you to orgasm with oral. That would produce more balance in your sexual lives.