[CHANDLERS WISH]

Wanna make a bet!!!!!!

How can 4 words and a few !!!!! paint a WHOLE PICTURE? lol......

CW

[Richard S]

I think if a woman doesn't want to give oral to a man, she has some mental problems. Issues that she needs to get over. Same with a man. If you fancy men, it's a natural thing, if you fancy women, it's a natural thing. Yes, we are all different, and defacating on people is so extreme and niche that it is silly to compare the two.

Women who don't want to give head, using lame excuses and stuff, basically just have to get over it, otherwise they're just being selfish, stuck up, have too much religious influences etc.

AWF,

You need to understand one thing. There are women out there who are rape and incest survivors. I have known a few of them. As Neil Young said, I've seen the damage done. There will always be a few women who will say "No way, ever." It's one thing to speak in general terms in a forum such as this one. It's another thing to assume you know what's going on in every possible individual situation. And it's yet another thing entirely to watch a woman who has been through trauma come out of her shell. It's an experience that changes who you are, forever. It changes you into someone who, when confronted with an individual who speaks in terms of women having "mental problems" is reminded of the passage from The Velveteen Rabbit, about how, once you know what it truly means to love and be loved, you can never be ugly, except to people who don't understand.

[Dollface2008]

I personally agree with you on the fact that giving head triggers gag reflexes and its not the most pleasent thing to do for the giver. My partener always asks for it, and I do it for him but I tend to gag alot too so I found the best way for me to go about it is to suck on the head and work the top, because like the person above said the most sensitive part is the head, and working it right can achieve the climax he wants. But I found that the most sucessful way for me is to suck on the head and give handjob at the same time, so that my hand gives the impression that im deep throating without me actually having to deep throat. Also, there are several amazing (or so Ive been told) techniques for hand jobs that you can learn how to do if you just can't do oral.

[Dollface2008]

also....if you do decide to go with the handjob advice I offered, I read in another thread called "handjobs" a great web site that I went too called handjobadvice this website worked wonders for me I learned great techiques that I never knew and I recently put to practice last night and found to be very successful so check that out if your interested!

[Uneeklyme]

omigosh...

selfish? prude? whining because of taste or gagging (gag reflex is real and balut is NASTY in my opinion) mental? The mind just boggles at such definitive derogatory remarks all because a woman wont or cant give a blow job for whatever reason.

Get rid of your partner and move on if they wont give you a BJ which you so deserve just for what? Being a man in a relationship? Its a privilage not a right. I guess along the lines of out with the old in with the new... I dont like the size of your penis, your out...NEXT! Im sorry you worked for the last 10 years to help support us and our marriage, bore our children and invested everything into makeing a life with me but blow me or else. Seems to me it would just be easier to say you wont blow me so no, Im not eating you. There is the give and take.

BUT... sex is not love, love just enhances sex so if theres nothing invested, nothing gained, not getting what you want out of it... I agree, move on. I also agree that if you adore your mate you should do what you can to please them even if its not a pleasant task for you but to base a whole relationship on it? eh, not so much. There also has to be some concesions for the other party. Why is the blow me or else attitude ok but the I dont like it can we try something else not ok? Just an observation.

[C]

[quote=Richard S;37766]AWF,

You need to understand one thing. There are women out there who are rape and incest survivors. I have known a few of them. As Neil Young said, I've seen the damage done. There will always be a few women who will say "No way, ever." It's one thing to speak in general terms in a forum such as this one. It's another thing to assume you know what's going on in every possible individual situation. And it's yet another thing entirely to watch a woman who has been through trauma come out of her shell. It's an experience that changes who you are, forever. It changes you into someone who, when confronted with an individual who speaks in terms of women having "mental problems" is reminded of the passage from The Velveteen Rabbit, about how, once you know what it truly means to love and be loved, you can never be ugly, except to people who don't understand.[/quote]

Back a good two years ago when I was in the midst of trying to find myself, my good friend told me to get the book The Velveteen Rabbit. She said it is a children's book but order it anyway..I can truthfully say that I wondered if she knew what she was talking about....But at that time in my life....I was so confused....How could an older woman like I was, be a younger woman????? What had happened to my yesterday's? Why did I feel the way that I did and most of all what had happened to me?

This was when I first started to talk to my friend Patti....She told me when I read the book, I would be able to understand myself better....I did and it helped me more than she will ever know...I must tell her this when I talk to her again......Richard, your post reminded me of a blog that I wrote a couple of years ago after I read the book...I am going to bring it forward and redo it.......Thank you so much for such a special memory....Take care, Caroline

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Perhaps then the word may be she has "psychological issues" pertaining to blow-jobs that she needs to work with? I think Fallen1 is correct that the word Mental is maybe not the correct terminology?

Definition of mental:involving the mind or an intellectual process; "mental images of happy times"; "mental calculations"; "in a terrible mental state"; "mental ...

Therefore, I am right.

Richard S, Everyone always says something like, you can't generalise, there might be 0.001% blah blah. But that means you can't say that you wont pick 4 aces of spades out of 4 decks of cards all shuffled up in a row. Sure, some abuse victims and stuff will have difficulties, but I don't really think we're talking about that. You all hate the term "mental problems" but are fine with "psychological issues"? They're one and the same.

And sure, the gag reflex is real, I know about it, believe it or not I've got a mouth too. With some it's stronger than with others, but to simply experience it once and go NO! means selfishness in my opinion.

omigosh...

selfish? prude? whining because of taste or gagging (gag reflex is real and balut is NASTY in my opinion) mental? The mind just boggles at such definitive derogatory remarks all because a woman wont or cant give a blow job for whatever reason.

Selfish - yes. Prudish - yes. Mental - look at my definition, of course it is.

Get rid of your partner and move on if they wont give you a BJ which you so deserve just for what? Being a man in a relationship? Its a privilage not a right.

Ooop, looks like we have a man basher. I suppose you weren't around to see the threads of women complaining that their men wouldn't go down on them, and the advice to leave them. Being a man in a relationship does entitle you to blowjobs, just like being the woman in a relationship entitles you to being eaten out. It is a privilage and a right that comes with a relationship. People around here love calling sexism when the read something they don't like.

I guess along the lines of out with the old in with the new... I dont like the size of your penis, your out...NEXT! Im sorry you worked for the last 10 years to help support us and our marriage, bore our children and invested everything into makeing a life with me but blow me or else. Seems to me it would just be easier to say you wont blow me so no, Im not eating you. There is the give and take.

Exactly, give and take. I'm sure most/all of the men that don't get blowjobs from their women are willing to eat her out. And obviously families complicate matters, as for that point, you are living for them, not for yourself. But if they only people in the equation are you and her, and she's an asexual prude, then sure, move on to greener pastures. As many women would also do.

BUT... sex is not love, love just enhances sex so if theres nothing invested, nothing gained, not getting what you want out of it... I agree, move on. I also agree that if you adore your mate you should do what you can to please them even if its not a pleasant task for you but to base a whole relationship on it? eh, not so much. There also has to be some concesions for the other party. Why is the blow me or else attitude ok but the I dont like it can we try something else not ok? Just an observation.

I don't like giving blowjobs, can we play chess instead? I don't like giving you a clitoral orgasm orally before sex, but would you like a glass of wine? There are just some things that have to be done. Oral sex on both sides is one of those things. You're looking at a poor sexual relationship without it, so why bother? Why not move onto someone with whom sex would be 1000% better? Since sex is the glue that holds a relationship together.

Any form of sexual abstinance is extremely harmful to a relationship, especially oral (for men), and most likely for women as many don't orgasm internally.

[C]

You know Anon: You can talk your talk until the cows come home...Sure, I know that men need loving...I love sex more than ten average women but how do you tell them to do what you want them to do....They just won't....They find it distasteful.....They don't like the ejaculate to start....Why do you think so many quit sex early in their life...Separate bedrooms....You guys do have your beef but it falls on deaf ears....

I think if a woman is old enough and wise enough to know true sexual want that she will do this...BUT she has to be able to get past that stu*id good girl and let the "pig" in her thinking loose....She must kick shame out the window and gobble her husband up and devour each and every part of him.....BUT how many women feel like this about their man...I do but so many marriages suck....They tolerate each other...Many marriages are like brother and sister and just plain best friends...And then the ones that start out the marriage doing this soon forget it and you are then back to square one....

If you plan on finding a woman like this you had better get a signed agreement that she will do this to you the rest of your life because chances are that you may be here at this Forum spilling your frustrations years from now.....OR

You may be one of the many wonderful and good looking hunks of manhood that are out finding boyfriends who will blow them and shove it up their butt and many of our lovely and wonderful women sit home and wonder why........TC, C

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Anon
Definition of mental:involving the mind or an intellectual process; "mental images of happy times"; "mental calculations"; "in a terrible mental state"; "mental ...

Therefore, I am right.

This could go on forever, lol...

Yes, the definations above are 100% correct, now, pray tell? Where does that come into the picture of not taking in your cum in a bj?

Anon
"in a terrible mental state";

That one? Fear? Youth? Past ? Doubt it's a terrible mental state, she just plain well may not like it? Or be scared, young, or as Richard said, had a problem forced? Lots of reasons, really....

"Speak or forever hold your peace"...

CW

[anonymouswhitefemale]

I think not wanting to give blowjobs/swallow is a mental issue - the very fact that I use the word "want" here means that by definition it IS mental. The definition is just the first line if the dictionary definition, nothing tailored to this thread.

Caroline, you are right. It just frustrates me that so many women just need to grow up, sexually speaking. And I totally see your point about marriages etc. not really working sexually, which is partly why I think I only have a five per cent or so chance of getting married. I don't deserve a celibate life because some woman doesn't know how to have fun. And yeah, I can see why some guys turn to other guys, as they just get fed up with the lack of attention they get, and want some actual decent sex, haha. You know every gay guy always says the sex is way better? haha.

These women will wonder why their husbands left for another woman, when the reason is staring them in the face in the mirror every day. Men can only take so much, and I can take less... haha.