[eager&concerned]

I can't seem to get the help I need so I've come humbly here in hopes
of better success.

I am a male in my 30's.
Please excuse the candor I may use in the pursuit of asking my question.
I also Hope you what find the graphic nature of the question offensive.

I've met a woman within recent months.
She's an ostensibly conservative executive.
I have grown to care about her.
Our occasional flirtations have given way to intimate conversations about anything.

Things have turned sexual (conversationally), but we haven't been physical just yet.
Our flirtations have grown bolder.

She sends me "sexy" pictures via email occasionally.
As you might imagine this thrills me to no end and stokes the fire quite a bit.
Things appear to be progressing to an inevitable sexual union.

We've discussed sexual health briefly.
I've told her that I request a litany of blood tests each year with my physical
and I'm clear of HIV and STDs. I am fit and healthy.

She says she is also checked regularly.

She's in her late 30s, single, and a mother of two,
with no high risk activity that I'm aware of.
However, she doesn't eat much at all. She has an eating disorder she has managed through the years (She was treated long ago).
Also she has had her uterus removed after her last child(5).
I include these details in so far as they play a factor in my answer.

She is sexually active. She's had four lovers over the passed two years.
Her focus has turned to me, and i couldn't be happier.

I was excited about the prospect of having sex with her
but recently
she sent me a photo of her sex toy after use;
a string of large balls.
And no, She doesn't also use it anally, if you're curious.
She dangled the string in front of the camera lens and snapped away.
The balls and string had her natural lubricant on it from vaginal insertion/masturbation.
She had it in there for more than 10 minutes at least, stirring it about and such; vigorously working herself to a powerful orgasm.

Initially, I was very much aroused. No revelation there.
However, I slowly became concerned.

I believe it's just "cream" but it seems to have the consistency of butter or oil when refrigerated.
Almost the same color.
Almost... like the smegma cheese found around the clitoris of some less attentive
women(or foreskin of males for that matter). It doesn't have the same opacity or quite that consistency.

This seemed like an odd viscosity for a natural and healthy secretion. I've never encountered it that thick before.
She says it was all her's and no artificial product was added.

In fact,
In any of her pics I've never seen her cream being the clear, liquid, "KY"-like substance I've generally seen.

Is it natural to be so thick?
I don't mind experiencing it if it's all on the up and up, but I'm afraid it's very much not.
I've asked a female friend but I suspect her answer was biased and judgmental.

I would like to say something to alert this wonderful woman to see a doctor if it is a sign of illness, but
I wouldn't know how to go about it.
I'm not even sure it's appropriate to say anything at this point.
From our conversations I'm guessing her lube is odorless.
She is always quite concerned with hygiene and grooming, so I don't think it's a matter of neglect.
I've seen a young woman with that frothy copious STD secretion back in college,
and I don't get the impression that it's what I'm seeing here.

I'm not asking for a medical analysis of exactly what the substance is, just asking if it's pretty likely it's actually natural and harmless.
Are there people here that have had experience with such issues?
Or Is it an obvious red flag?

Then what should I say if it is a red flag??
I have no idea how to broach this and keep her pride intact.


Lastly, what would happen if I "ate her" and
it turns out to be yeast...?
Would I get sick?


Thanks for your help,
E&C

[Little]

Maybe it has something to do with her hormones? Having a hysterectomy would certainly mess with her hormone levels, even with HRT the "perfect balance" would probably be hard to upkeep.
Ask her, ask her, ask her. You've had no problems talking her to her about litanies of blood tests, so just be frank. From what you've described, I can't imagine her shying away from you just for being curious.

[eager&concerned]

She Probably won't shy away.
However, wouldn't she become offended?
She might think I'm making an ignorant judgment.
She might think I have questions about her hygiene or worse:
presume to understand her body more than she does.

The last thing I want is to offend her.
Okay yes, of course I wouldn't want to mess up my prospects sexually
but beyond that (out of decency and affection for her), I don't want her
to feel hurt or draw away but I want her to be healthy.
So how can I be sensitive about this without putting my foot in my mouth
(the supervisor from the show "The office" comes to mind)
How can I ease any uncomfortable impression as I broach the subject,
and what do I ask exactly?

Thanks so much,

E&C

Also, in general, can someone become ill from consuming yeast?

[Fire(m)]

All you need to do is: Before you consummate your sexual relationship, BOTH get tested. Make it a current test. If there's something wrong with her then you'll know it.

I agree with Little. A woman's hormones will make the secretions very different at different times of the month. Vaginal secretions may appear different, and taste and smell different, and there be absolutely nothing wrong with the woman.

If you don't want to come off as judgemental to her, don't ask her a judgemental question.

For example: Instead of saying "Gee your vaginal secretions on your toys looked like you have some funky weirdo disease...are you going to kill me if I have sex with you?".

Maybe you could just say something like. "I really want to have sex with you. I respect you enough to prove to you that I'm clean by getting tested next week (before our big party the next weekend where we have sex). Will you please do the same?" You may not even have to ask her to do the same. Once you tell her you're going to get tested out of respect for her, she may very well tell you she'll get tested out of mutual respect for you.

Something seems a little weird about this situation to me. For a male in his 30's you don't seem to have any confidence. She seems to have more confidence than most women in their 30's. This is not a post that I'd call bs to, but it's definitely strange. Maybe that means that you and your lady are perfect for eachother.

By the way, I think 4 partners in 2 years is fairly high risk behavior. I guess that's because I've had 1 partner for the past 24 years. Maybe its just me. My question to you is that if she "moves around that much", what makes you think she's going to stick with you? Particularly if you have zero confidence. My guess is she'll chew you up and spit you out quicker than the others. Sorry to say that, but I just say it because maybe this isn't the right chick for you.

Ladies, Gentlemen, do you agree or disagree?
Cheers.

[eager&concerned]

zero confidence?

I think I'm offended.

A guy can't be sensitive?

talk about judgmental.

but thanks for the advice anyway.

[Fire(m)]

I don't mean to offend at ALL. Pardon my directness. It's just that when I was a guy in my 30's, there was NO QUESTION in my mind as to how to proceed with this.

I didn't really gather that you were sensitive, more like afraid.

Again, I apologize if you perceive my comments as offensive. I admit that I do type what I'm thinking a lot of times and that tends to be maybe a little too direct...too honest. Maybe my thoughts are worth considering though, because if you come off to me as lacking confidence, what do you think you come off to your lady friend as being - macho?

My guess (again I guess being somewhat judgemental...sorry in advance) is that if I were in your situation, I'd have been in the "throws of passion" with this woman without her having to send me repeated e-mails of a sexual nature. She's probably sending them out to every guy she likes to see which one will "win" today.

About the time I got the first sexual e-mail from her, I'd have been all over that like it owed me money.

Maybe I am just a reformed (by 22 years of marriage) male ...but I think I'm a pretty normal, red-blooded guy.

Again sorry if I have offended you. Sensitivity has it's place. I guess I need to learn that.

Cheers.

[Richard S]

Just as a woman has to get used to swallowing semen (or at least having that taste in her mouth), a man has to get used to the way different women taste. There is a basic way that p*ssy tastes, then there are variations since no two women are the same.

To answer your question, no, a little bit of yeasty discharge will not hurt you. Going down on a woman during her period (with a tampon in) will not hurt you either. Just a slight metallic taste, that's all.

Be a man about it, and when the moment is right, go down on her.

Keep in mind that you don't have to plunge your tongue deep into her vaginal canal. Just a light, delicate licking around the clitoris, while perhaps using a finger inside the vagina (pushing upward toward to pubic bone, to see if she has an active G-Spot) is enough to make most women quite happy. Keep your hands clean and your fingernails short and well manicured.

But don't take the flirtation / exchange of naughty pictures too far without consummating the relationship in the normal, physical manner. That's just my advice as a guy. She might just be messing with your head, or stringing you along while she's giving it up for some other guy. Don't play the fool.

[eager&concerned]

I'm feeling edgy myself.
bad day.

And that snarky comment really has me heated.

I understand you have no clue about who I am or what the situation is completely.
I'd like to be discreet.
So I'll try not to take it personally.
But it really felt like an attack
(and unprovoked at that) when I'm trying not to be the ***hole I was in my twenties.
And I care for this woman.

I came here seeking advice and solace
and you give me that weird southern thing where you insult and simultaneously help.
I don't know where that's coming from.
You can aim that somewhere else.

It just invites hostility.
I'm trying to be civil here.

Now,
If you're interested:

I used to go storming in,
as is your style.
No Problem.
I don't enjoy that now that I'm older.
I'm a Musician that's traveled world wide couched in luxury.
I had a great (GREAT) run.
I'm no milk toast.
I'll leave it there.

Now she reminds me of all the women that deserved better from me in the past.
So I'm seeking out help before I hurt her.
I'm not "That Guy" anymore.
I'm more considerate more sensitive.

And if she "chews me up and spits me out" it's because that's what we'll be into on that particular night.

And,
Who said ANYTHING about being in love or having some long lasting love affair??

I understand that life is a bit different around your way but I appreciate your insight;
Not so much your penchant to make snap judgments based on 0.2 units of info.
Where I'm from women with 4 lovers over two years is pretty much par.
But we all have to be careful and responsible.

Now you and I both know that women can be set off by even the most innocuous and well intentioned comment from men.
...or even a small gesture or action.
Especially when it comes to them emitting things that don't immediately bring to mind a basket of potpourri.
So This is sensitive territory.
Even if she plays the wildcat, she really isn't.
I know this.
I make the wrong move and she becomes an instant self-conscious sexual dud.
I don't want that.

We've already had the health Convo. To do it again is to risk sounding accusatory. I worked hard on getting her to be bold enough to feel comfortable e-mailing me things.

And for the record, there's nothing wrong with drawing things out and savoring the experience. Try it sometime. Tease your wife all day and see what happens at 10 P.M.
That is if You haven't. (--see how I gave you the benefit of the doubt there?)

Now if there is an actual health issue, then it becomes a different matter.


I want to be delicate.

That's all.

So I should be applauded for seeking advice, NOT derided.
And if you can stop playing Forum Police for a second I could sincerely use some help here; Unless That's just not what you do.



Thanks for your time,

E&C

[eager&concerned]

What I used to do, was just button back up and move on if I didn't feel comfortable.
But I want to act more mature.
That's all.

[eager&concerned]

And thank you Richard.