[louieann34]

I've been seeing a man for about a year and a half - he is 19 years my senior and things are great. The problem is, he has a long-term girlfriend (7 years) that knows nothing about me. She lives out of town and he travels to see her every other weekend.

I've been feeling very guillty about it, and I'm wondering if I should tell her.

Hi Gator,

Before I say something I just want to ask you first...Before entering that relationship with that guys did you ever knew that he has a long term girlfriend?

[JubesInquest]

Oh dear.

Gator,
you need to discontinue whatever it is you have with this man before things get ugly.

You don't know how his "long-term" girlfriend is going to react to your telling her you're the "other woman".
She may get angry; heck, she may also confront him and he'll lie and say you're some coo-coo ex-girlfriend that stalks him!

Just don't accept any of his calls; don't go see him or go anywhere with him; just cut off everything with this guy...

unless you really need to talk to him about this.

I don't see the need to discuss anything, because if he'll lie to you by having a regular girlfriend and NOT mentioning her to you, then that tells you that's the way he is!
Now you need to get yourself an exam to see if he left you with any STDs or HIV.
Check your health status ASAP.

[kaylar]

One of the questions I always ask when hearing the story
of an "Other Woman" is; "How do you know?"

How do you know ...
ANYTHING

I can think of a man who described his long divorced wife
as his Wife and his current wife as his 'baby's mother.'

I can think of another man who claimed his wife
was out of the country, when she was attending
University a few miles away.

Believe NOthing this man tells you.
Nothing.

Not where he lives, who he lives with, what he does...NOTHING.

Verify everything he says.

If he says he lives at 12 Green Street, go there find out who
lives there.

Many men give the address of a friend's flat because
he is living with his wife in some big house.

If he says he works at 23 Blue street, check it out.
He might not work anywhere.
He might live off of women.

Anything that comes out of his mouth is suspect
because he is a living lie.

[needyou]

when it comes to heart matters it's never easy...

[kaylar]

That is why every heart comes equipped with a head.

[stephreneeowens]

not good

if you feel guilty, then you know it is wrong, and trust me from experience....Karma will show up later. Forget about him...

[desertrose]

Mmmmm

If a man is lacking in character - and is able to cheat.... to keep on lying, deceiving & pretending - he is not a REAL MAN. If a man's life involves sneaking off to meet a mistress, always having to be covering up his tracks (which involves a lot of lying & gosh knows what else)... then, WHY, WHY, WHY would he be any different if he was married to his mistress - or any other woman for that matter?

Cheating points directly to a person's basic character - a character that lacks integrity. Cheating is also borne from a weak & highly selfish nature. I am of the view: 'Once a cheat always a cheat!' Cheaters don't have the integrity & conscience of the more 'highly evolved' fellows. Real men know what love & honor is! Real men know what the word commitment means.

Believe me in the tiny chancehe ever leaves his wife; and goes to you - he will do it to youeventually!

Would you ever be able to really trust him? Imagine.... 5, 10 or 15 years down the track.

Mistresses are not without fault either.

[Heartbroken]

While thier is still time

I've been the mistress for 3 years now. I honestly thought we were finally going to be together then 2 days ago I find out she is pregnant through facebook...nice huh. My heart is absolutely crushed. Not only is she pregnant but she didn't tell him until 4 months later. He told me she climbed on top of him 4 months ago in the middle of the night while he was asleep and one thing led to another. This man has been everything in my whole wide world for 3 years now...i'll be 30 in one week and this is what i'll remember happened on my 30th birthday every single day. I'd pray every night for a sign if I should leave him or not then one day we have a huge fight and I cry and cry and beg god for a sign then I go on facebook one hour later and look at his girlfriends profile and see that she is pregnant. I instantly felt this relief because now I know that we will never ever be together and I can start my 30th year single and trying ever so hard to move on.........so no do not get involved with this man no matter how sweet and kind and good in bed he may be....run in the other direction as far as you can...I can not ever describe the pain that I have felt for the last 3 days and I cry continuously but I know I'll be OK in the long run.

[rcoreyus]

I've been the mistress for 3 years now. I honestly thought we were finally going to be together then 2 days ago I find out she is pregnant through facebook...nice huh. My heart is absolutely crushed. Not only is she pregnant but she didn't tell him until 4 months later. He told me she climbed on top of him 4 months ago in the middle of the night while he was asleep and one thing led to another. This man has been everything in my whole wide world for 3 years now...i'll be 30 in one week and this is what i'll remember happened on my 30th birthday every single day. I'd pray every night for a sign if I should leave him or not then one day we have a huge fight and I cry and cry and beg god for a sign then I go on facebook one hour later and look at his girlfriends profile and see that she is pregnant. I instantly felt this relief because now I know that we will never ever be together and I can start my 30th year single and trying ever so hard to move on.........so no do not get involved with this man no matter how sweet and kind and good in bed he may be....run in the other direction as far as you can...I can not ever describe the pain that I have felt for the last 3 days and I cry continuously but I know I'll be OK in the long run.

There are lots of nice men out there, you dont' need him. If his story is true, his wife also behaved very badly. God help their child.

[Heartbroken]

what makes it even worse for me...

is the fact that they aren't even married. He has raised her 9 year old with him for 6 years and they still didn't marry. I know she found out about me and did this purposely to trap him. I've been seeing him for 3 years so obvioulsy she can't be that ****** can she? I sure as hell think i'd know. I find myself praying for something to happen to her and the unborn baby...how sick am I huh. I don't really mean it thoug I just want the pain to go away. I just want the pain to go away and I really don't think it will. I told him that he can have her now for good and he can raise his "pretend happy" little family that are going to be ruined when this cycle happens all over again...........