[Texinator]

Independent women to me are those that can fight, think, and work for themselves. They are their own people. That doesn't mean they always have to live by themselves or do everything by themselves. For example, a woman can be married and living with her husband.. and of course still be considered independent.

Some women are like lost puppies and obey every command because they are too afraid to think for themselves. Some women are leeches that sponge off others, like husbands or parents, because they are too lazy to work for themselves. I find neither one of those appealing. (Obviously both descriptions can be applied to many men as well)

It doesn't sound to me like you fall into either category. You're not incapable of being on your own and you're certainly not a leech. You've had some financial and medical issues and there is no shame in that. I don't think it would've made sense to move out and make life more difficult for you just to prove a point.

[Amber]

So then, tell me this. How do you try to have an orgasm without screaming your brains out? I guess I could put the music or TV up louder, as long as that doesn't distract me too much.

Aw, man, I was hoping for the 'Oh, holy crp' reaction. lol

I just thought of this post again, Lana. You tell someone it feels like a mack truck just hit you. I'd would then think, what the (edit) is so great about sex then. It is after you get hit by that mack truck, it feels pretty good!

[Guest]

Let me 2nd that notion.

There is no shame in living at home, and many people do so with their own reasons.

We live in different times than our parents...real estate values (which granted are coming back into the stratosphere now) have accelerated, as well as college costs and the general cost of living. We can't live as cheaply as our parents did, and there are a billion gadgets and other "stuff" out there that convince us of this.

Like Tex said, though. If people are using their parents as a crutch, or an excuse to not get their lives on track- that's weak.

I'm in my mid twenties with a fiance and a stable career and if my father lived close, i'm almost certain that my fiance and I would live with him. He's a very busy guy and travels a good deal of the time so it wouldn't cramp his or our style. However, we'd be able to cook and take care of domestic things so he wouldn't have to hire outside help to do it. It would work because we're all very close.

If someone discounts you simply because you live with your parents, they probably weren't worth your concern in the first place.

[WildChild]

Amber, women in porn may scream when cum, women in the movies may also. Women in real life do so if they have somehow trained themselves to. I can be fairly vocal but it's not screaming.

Orgasm may not be what you think it is. Orgasm's main characturistic is muscle spasm, that is uncontrollable, if you orgasm your pc muscles will contract repeatedly. That is why many of us can cum while doing kegels. Typically your breathing changes to reflect your body moving toward orgasm, but not always. And when you cum really good, you don't really have breath to spare for "screaming". For many women orgasm is virtually silent, aside from a change in breathing.

I read something a few years ago, put out by some sex researchers, which said that both men and women's bodies go esentially rigid in orgasm. It may be momentary but it's part of the response. This article was an effort to refute ideas people were getting from the movies. I've cum, completely relaxed, but not often, that takes a special state of mind.

Visit the web site for Welcomed Consensus, maybe get a DVD or two? They have material very specific to women's masterbation techniques. They are quite clinical. You've commented on not liking to see women masterbating, don't approach that so much as something to arouse you but more to see what they do and how. But Welcomed Consensus will give you a much more real vision of that than something designed for men to jerk off to.

As for the living situation. You do need to get a job and get out on your own. It would give you greater freedom in ways you may not even think of. Even a tiny place of your own, would be your own. It may have an emotional effect that helps your quest. At any rate you need to be out from under mom's thumb. Time to fly darlin'. On your own, not from the parental nest to a man's nest. You need your own for a while!

[LanaBear]

So then, tell me this. How do you try to have an orgasm without screaming your brains out? I guess I could put the music or TV up louder, as long as that doesn't distract me too much.

Screaming your brains out? Nah, not everybody needs to do that.

I just thought of this post again, Lana. You tell someone it feels like a mack truck just hit you. I'd would then think, what the (edit) is so great about sex then. It is after you get hit by that mack truck, it feels pretty good!

HAHA - yes, mack truck may be excessive, that's why I said ran into a wall. lol Sometimes it just blindsides you, and since I'm a clutz, those d*mn walls come out of nowhere sometimes.

[Texinator]

Found an interesting 50 minute video on Google's video section where a group of women discuss the emotional and physical aspects of reaching and having an orgasm. Very interesting. I'll PM you the link, Amber (and to anyone else who wants it, since links are not allowed in public posts).

[Amber]

WC, I'll check out that website. Thanks!

One of the things I know women do to have orgasm is playing with their nipples. Mine have no sensation whatsoever. It feels like I'm just touching rubber when I touch them. So for me I have to rely on down below instead.

[rcoreyus]

Just a thought, but maybe you are trying too hard. Rather than worrying about having an orgasm, just do things you enjoy. Watch sexy movies that you like, not with a specific goal of getting aroused. Play with the vibrator if it feels nice, not just specifically to get an orgasm.

Maybe surf the net for porn (soft core if you like ), not with the goal of being aroused when you watch, but for ideas of things to fantasize about.

[Amber]

I agree. I am trying too hard and it seems I'm starting to drive myself crazy in the process!!

It seems that the only way I get any feeling is when I am using a vibrator. I don't understand how some who watches porn or a romance or even read a romance book can feel anything from it. I don't think I have ever had any feelings with out the vibrator. Even if I try to get in the mood of it all.

Do you guys really feel some kind of results by just watching or reading something without touching yourself? If so, is it the same feeling that you get when you touch yourself or is it different?

[Amber]

But now that I think about it, I'm probably not exactly concentrating on the book lately but just keep asking myself if I'm feeling anything. Obviously that probably kills it all. But I'm still curious of my questions above.