[Texinator]

It does sound like you have a strong romantic side, Amber. While every woman has something else that turns her on most - and who knows, maybe one day you'll also get aroused by sexual fantasies or even the sight of a nice penis - I do think that emotions are the strongest driving force for your arousal.

[Hopeless Dork]

What has turned me on has changed over the years. When I first started getting sexual feelings it was actually women's bodies that turned me on. I guess growing up in a house full of men I'd seen the playboys, etc... saw that women=sex and so seeing a sexy woman made me think sexy thoughts. I am not lesbian, not even bi and have no interest in women but I would see a pretty woman dressed in little or nothing in cosmo etc and I would use that as my masturbation material for whatever reason.

Then for a while it was words that did it for me, chatting in naughty chatrooms, cybering, reading graphic depecitions of sex.

Then it was porn that did it for me, watching people have sex, etc.

Then it was watching men masturbate to me, webcam sex, exhibitionism I guess. It was around this time that I developed a fond appreciation of the penis and the site of it becoming something that aroused me very much.

Then I got into a relationship and we do so many fun sexy things and I'm so into him that him and his body and things he's done to me are what I generally think of for arousal. But the sight of a penis can still turn me on.

I've never been into romance, romance novels, never gotten aroused at the notion of candles or rosepetals or warm embraces... I think you just have to explore what works for you... maybe titanic gets you in the romantic mood... but doesn't have the punch to take you over the edge... you just have sample and explore til you find what gets you there... it should come naturally.

[jns]

I'm doing my happy dance today because I made some progress last night. Still no orgasm but I got more response out of my body than ever before. Sorry but I'm in the mood for the long version of this story.

I gulped down my glass of wine last night and then lay down on my bed. Room was lowly dimmed and I was watching Titanic on my laptop computer. Titanic is my favorite movie but I never used it to try to orgasm before! LOL

I watched pretty much from when the ship sailed to the part when the ship was struck by the iceberg. In the beginning I was touching myself down below on my own and when feeling nothing really after a while, turned to my dolphin silver bullet vibrator. So far that vibrator has been the one to give me the best sensation. I still have some more toys in my box that I haven't tried yet.

So anyways, i was trying to get myself in a romantic mood. And Jack and Rose does have that effect on me. But I'm watching it and I couldn't help but laugh in the beginning because I never noticed it before. I felt like I was robbing the cradle with Leo being so young! LOL But the scene that he is on the deck with her at the bow and then him drawing her started to get me in the mood. Then the scene they are in the carriage together. But these scenes are too short.

But what did it for me was after watching it all, I started to find certain scenes again. That is when I came upon to the part when they are on the deck. He brought her up to the bow, held her in his arms, and tenderly touched her hand. I replayed the same scene again and that is when it started to happen. The melody of My Heart Will Go On is playing in the background, when he takes her hand to lead her to the bow, the vibrator is making me feel that edginess that I have turned into a more positive feeling over the past months. But instead of focusing on the feeling like I usually do, I look at Rose and Jack, and I had this sudden urge that I so much wanted my ex to hold me in his arms. So much so that it hurt so much. Jack held Rose in his arm and for once, after so long, I finally remembered what it felt like to be held in my ex's arms. I love the feeling of being held. And last night I was desperately craving for that touch. Jack tenderly touched her along the hand and I remember how my ex use to lightly touched mine. I kept pressing the button to replay the scene over and over again. While I was having those craving, my legs began to sweat and my face started to burn. I was able to rewatch the scene probably about four or five times, before keep pressing the button to watch the scene, distracted me too much that I was forgetting the wonderful feeling of being held. I was snapping out of it. But after about that fourth or fifth time, not my whole body but my legs were dripping wet from sweat and as I mentioned before, my face was burning. I think my hips may have been arching up and down but I don't remember if that started before or after I lost the moment. Because I must have watched that scene a dozen times before I gave us and knew it was no good.

The scene was too SHORT!!!! Ugg! But I made progress for once. I never sweat like that before. I'm not sure if I ever felt the burning in the face either. And when I went to touch myself without the vibrator, I wasn't positive but I think I was "wet". I say that because it is the end of my period. It wasn't blood but it could have been the gel. But the gel eventually wears off and I was too wet to be that. So I think I might have made myself wet last night. I have never done that before!!

It has been almost a year since my ex held me in his arms and I'm having a hard time recalling what that feels like, to be held. That wonderful warm feeling that I know exists. So it is not like I can just think of that and orgasm. It seems it takes some real romancing before I can recall how it felt and it was wonderful.

Ok, lecture time. yep, I know I have been banned from seeing my ex until I have gotten over him and this is not helping it!!! But dam if he can get me to orgasm, i may make a detour in getting over him. I kind of wonder if I can relate that feeling to just any guy holding me. But I want to say maybe unfortunately not because what was fueling me there besides remembering what it felt like to be held was the desperation of wanting to be held by him. I almost cried the emotions hurt so much. It made a pent up feeling inside of me, some of it was the feelings down belong mixed with my emotional feelings of desperately wanting to be touched again.

And once again i was alone in that bed. So I guess the question is how much do I want to orgasm. Because it seems emotional torment of wanting my ex, so far, is the only thing that has ever turned me on. Normally I try to think up a fantasy and there is no emotion inside of me to back it up. This was so different. And I know it wasn't just the vibrator making me sweat because it was hot in my room. Because my torso didn't sweat and I have used that vibrator even longer, and didn't sweat at all. And the room wasn't that hot.

This may seem minor to some but it was a big break through for me!! And something tells me my ex may not appreciate it all but at this point, I really don't care!! LOL

Great news, Amber. You are learning to lose yourself in the moment. Being in an actual loving relationship is better for the feelings you need to propel yourself to find out what will cause you to orgasm, than a random guy. I think it is better to fantasize about your ex than find someone who you may not have intense enough feelings for.

If you are technically adept, you can rip that scene and record it again and again in a homemade movie using authoring software. Rip the music separately and have it repeat all the way through, not just the segment that usually plays in a movie scene.

[jns]

Amber, another thing, try deliberately clenching your muscles and squeezing your thighs together the heighten the pleasure.

[Amber]

If you are technically adept, you can rip that scene and record it again and again in a homemade movie using authoring software. Rip the music separately and have it repeat all the way through, not just the segment that usually plays in a movie scene.

Unfortunately Jns, I'm totally clueless on that stuff.

I don't have many DVD's to begin with. My father use to have them all. Tonight I tried Cities of Angels. Yes, that is a movie about death but I thought I remembered the love scene at the end to be pretty good. Because the rest of the movie was not romance, it did nothing for me. I forward through most of it so I only wasted about a minutes or so.

I need to find out what may work for me, watching it on Netflicks and if it is any good, buy it. I'm crazy if I thought I could get an orgasm on the next try. It may take time to get back to even what I did yesterday. Well, at least yesterday happened.

I'm surprised on the clenching of muscles, because then you are not relaxed. But then someone else told me the same thing.

[Amber]

I know one thing is for sure, I need to make sure I leave thinking about my ex-boyfriend to orgasm only otherwise I'm heading for trouble. But that is easier said than done.

Hopeless, I think part of the reason why more sexual stuff doesn't turn me on, is because I don't have any pleasant experiences in it yet. The few times I was actually in the bedroom with my ex-boyfriend, I was too nervous to enjoy it. Once the next guy comes around, I would hope that would change., And then maybe what turns me on will change also.

[Mes T]

Get an erotic movie.

Or at least a movie that's known for its sexual scenes, like "Secretary."

Heck the TV show "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" has the most sex I've ever seen that wasn't in a porno.

[Amber]

Mes T, Thanks for the ideas but those kind of movies don't work for me. i have tried some already. I can't connect and relate to them. I never had enjoyable sex before. And I realized after this weekend, that I have to be able to relate to it in order to get any response out of me. It is not easy for me.

[Mes T]

How about a romance novel? Sorry if already been mentioned, this thread is huge. o_O

[WildChild]

How are those kegels coming along? Are you getting more comfortable with your kegel master?