[mr.mansview]

amber i too had/have an addiction..sports..i've had gf's who had zero interest in them, but if i liked them i dated them regardless..tell him emphatically that you CANNOT dance, but "if you still want to go out with me, i'd love to"..the worse response you could get is "no"..in that case he loses out

[Amber]

It's funny but I never thought I would be the one refusing the dancing. But unfortunately times change.

I emailed him back a few minutes ago and said sound like fun. We haven't decided where or when yet. Or even what kind of single event we will be going to. he mentioned the single events or just hang out. I'm thinking within the group and sitting next to each other would be better. if we don't have too much to talk because we are in a group, that's ok. i'll just get a better sense of his personality this way. And if he wants to get to know me better, then he will have to ask me out on a real date.

I didn't mention the dancing but when it comes up, if he doesn't like the fact that i'm serious about not doing it, then he can run.

Now that I think about it, for some reason I want to say that he smokes but I'm not sure about that. i really hope he doesn't because I have seen too many people die from that and that is just a no no for me. i could still hang out with him but that would definitely be it. But i'm hoping I'm wrong.

[Amber]

Ok, I know I'm going to sound horrible here but I can't help it.

I had said to that guy on getting together some time but we haven't decided when yet. He said he was busy with work all week. But he just emailed me, saying that he has a chance to go to this radio station mix and mingle. Ok, mix and mingle means a lot of walking around but even more so, standing in one place at times. Walking I can sort of handle for a while, standing in one place for periods of times hurt a lot. Now the way I figure this is if I had been seeing this guy for a while and he really wanted me to get, I would somehow find a way to hobble around this thing and survive. But this would be a first date. Bad enough I don't like the kind of music this radio station plays. If that was my only complaint, I would suck it up and go. But it is not. So I hate the music and i'm going to be edgy the whole time because I'm going to be in pain.

So I don't know about you guys but that sounds like a first and last date to me. I need an excuse to get out of it. What do people use as excuses on how they are busy that night. I don't usually have to event places I need to be. I don't want to say a doctors appointment because it brings my health to his attention, something I don't want to do anymore than the knees and feet. And unfortunately, I don't want him to know that this is another thing I can't do.

I feel like I can't do anything with this guy. I never ran into problems like this with my ex. But then lucky for me, I guess my ex was not that active. We had more stuff in common. But that is past tense. Life sucks!!

[Amber]

I just feel like it is pretty bad that I'm already finding ways of lying to a guy that I haven't even dated once yet. Maybe it is a sign that I shouldn't be going out with this guy.

[Amber]

I just emailed him, saying I'm not available and left it at that. I told him to have fun. I have a feeling this date is never going to happen. I guess it depends on the guy. Some guys I can keep up with, others I can't. It really sucks!

[jns]

Why don't you just tell him the truth about the amount of pain it would put you in and request another first date at a different venue and a different day. If he really wants to date you, he should be accommodating. This will reinforce your message about the condition of your joints.

I actually find it painful to go shopping with my wife, since she can shop for clothes for hours and the stores don't have any guys sections where the latest football game can be viewed. You would think getting the money would be enough, but they want a pound of flesh, too. Standing on those hard concrete floors wipes me out.

[Texinator]

Why don't you just tell him the truth about the amount of pain it would put you in and request another first date at a different venue and a different day. If he really wants to date you, he should be accommodating. This will reinforce your message about the condition of your joints.

That's what I would go with.

[Allie602]

Hi Amber I read your post and thought I'd pipe in. I think you should tell this guy about your pain and the reason you can't stand around. It's the best thing for you because then you get accustomed to being upfront which is a good start to any relationship and you get to see that the world does not come to an end.
This is a good guy to start your new being upfront policy because you don't seem to be super into him so if he does not want to date than that's him. You feel comfortable you can email and suggest some other activity that would be within your ability to do. See how that goes. But if you allow this to get in your way it will loom bigger and bigger and will take on an insurmountable prob for you. You'll find it easier to talk yourself out of a date. The first couple of times will be difficult but then it will be easier.

[Amber]

jns, I know you are probably right but I just hate bringing up my health problems. I sort of just slid through this one by the skin of my teeth. I kind of like to wait to the next physical thing he picks to do. Something tells me it will be physical the next time also and then I will have to bring up my knees and/ or feet again. Lately it has been the knees.

Do any stores actually show the football games? If so I would have been sitting on the coach right next to you. You are looking at one gal who hates shopping!! I go clothes shopping about two or three times a year and that's it.

[jns]

Do any stores actually show the football games? If so I would have been sitting on the coach right next to you.

I seem to recall a department store once that had a waiting section with a TV that was tuned to a sports show. I have seen that thing more commonly at tire shops and sometimes at auto repair places.