[BabyGirl]

Stereo Missy
You Go Girl ..
I'll get back to ya !!
PROUD OF YOU !!!!

[Stereohearts]

"His meat has been cooked hun"
OMG!! I love that!

Thanks!!

[BabyGirl]

Hey Stereo, how have things been going ? Been thinking about you..

[Stereohearts]

Sorry its been so long. A lot of family drama going on and works been a little crazy.
You'll be disappointed to hear I didnt go threw with it. His grandmother had been in the nursing home for a while. Then she fell and she got worse. Excuses, Excuses. But I couldn't do it. Had to try to support and comfort him. Then she past away yesterday.
Things between us have been better. I know I should end things,but I can't. I'm so head over heals...

Anyway, he and his wife are separating. I'm so confused on what to do...

[notlikethenormal]

Dont take this the wrong way because I'm positive your feelings are him are true and real. I have no intention to be cruel.

But always be aware that he cheated to be with you, he may well cheat on you too.

[Stereohearts]

i've definitely thought about that. A lot!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Don't apologise.

Unfortunately, you can't do anything until YOU are ready...

But, I've heard the "he's leaving his wife" so many time, so many.

Did he tell you this?

[Stereohearts]

They both told me this. She confided in me today about it when she was taking the baby on a walk. Was a little awkward...As you could probably imagine.
And he showed me some of the texts on his phone.

[BabyGirl]

Anyway, he and his wife are separating. I'm so confused on what to do...

Until they are actually Separated, you are still the Mistress and he is Still the Cheating Husband.
Beware of the " He's sleeping on the Couch and he is staying in the Home for his Child ".

I fell for that myself, thinking it was a " Room Mate " situation. Unless he comes out and tells her, " I'm in Love with or Sleeping with " Your Name ", then he is having his Cake and Eating it too.

This is a Game that he can play out as long as he has you convinced that " it will only be awhile Honey, Have patience, we'll be together soon. But now is not the right time, Something came up, we can't separate or Divorce yet. The kid(s) need me. I can't give up the House, It would cost me too much. "

In the meantime, there you are in Love, waiting for him to end it with her and Start a new life with you . But it must be a Secret. The Wife can't know, Neighbors can't know. So you have to Sneak and Hide your feelings.
You can't walk hand in hand around the neighborhood, smile and talk with neighbors as a Couple. You can't see each other in a Grocery Store, walk up give each other a Kiss or Hug. Because your " Love " is a Secret and can't be Shared with the World .

As long as he hasn't told her about you, what will it feel like for you to know that he is sleeping with her ? And yes, he will sleep with his wife, they will have moments of Shared love, Shared Memories of when things were good with them . They have their Child together and that is a Bond that is very hard to Break. He will be there for his Daughter, Their Daughter, every-time his wife ( or Ex if that happens ) needs him.
If , and I mean If, you ever are together as a Couple in a relationship you don't have to hide. Every time she calls for him, he will Run to Her to help, it'll be about the kids as an usual excuse. Will you be able to trust him with her ? Will you have the thoughts that he just may Cheat on you with her, like he cheated on her with you ?

Or will you both be able to go over together to help out the Child. How is the Wife going to feel about you as the Possible " Step Mother " to Their Daughter ?
She has confided in you, if even casually, that she is having problems in the marriage. How Uncomfortable is That ? I'd say pretty Uncomfortable. I'm glad I was never in that position with *John*.

You are still a Mistress until you are his Girlfriend/ Fiance/ Wife. In Public.

What can you do about this ?
You can Stop the Affair until he is free to have a Relationship with you, one that is Honest instead of Dishonest. You do not have to give him an Ultimatum. No ...Leave her or you don't have me. Of course that would make him chose and not be able to have the " Best " of both you and his wife .

You can Respect yourself, be in " love " but not enable him to use you when he is upset with her. When and if he needs you, needs your love, needs your support, needs to have you in his life Full Time. He will have to come to you a Free Man, a Loving Man, a Man that wants you and only you .
A Man that can proudly be with you and be happy and let all know that he is Yours and you are His .

Or you can be the Hidden Secret " Love " The Mistress, the Lie . Yes the Lie . Your Love is a Lie. To yourself and to himself. If it wasn't a lie and it was the Truth. You'd be together. And you aren't (yet ).

I'm not trying to shame you or talk you out of this affair. I am trying to have you Realize.... where you are and who you are. You are, at this time, 2nd Best, You are not the woman he comes home to every night. you are not the one he proudly shows to Family and Friends as his Woman, the Love of his Life.

Is this who you want to be ? Is this how you want to live, Is this how you show your Love for someone ? By only being able to give it or Share it or Show it in Private only ? I don't think so. Otherwise you would have not come here, sharing your pain and confusion. You want Honest Love, Not Fake, Forbidden, Hidden Love.

So, Now, you can at least try to Love yourself, believe in yourself, have Respect for yourself.
And I did not have my "John " sleeping over at my house, I wasn't as Involved as you are. I didn't get the Sexual Love, more the Emotional Love. I never asked him to leave her, I tried to help him stay and Fix it. Though, to be honest I did wonder what it would be like if He was Free and we could build on the " Love " we had .

And 3 years later, I still Love him, I still support him, I do not have Sex or Sneaky meetings with him anymore. If "John " Divorced tomorrow and came to me. I would not Start up a Romantic Relationship with him, other than a " Sister /Brother / Family/ friend ".

I was Used, just as all the people here on WH said. It was hard to hear from the Brain and not the Heart. It was hard to hear that I was worth more than Waiting for some Guy I thought was my Soul Mate, to Leave his Wife. I let myself believe, I let myself Love, I let myself wait and Ponder and Stress and Hope and Want. And to be there anytime he wanted or needed, to be there to rub his head, be his Bouncing Wall and Advise how to Fix It .

And when I needed Him ?
It was
Not now, Wife is ( fill in Blank ).
So here ya go.. Be Second Best, Be Second Love to him .. But Try to be First Love in Yourself .

And, Now, He is My Brother, Not My Lover... And I can tell him, in text , Not Now ! Go fix it with her .. Lol

[thegirlnextdoortoyou]

How old are you? Have you had other relationships aside from him? I really feel like you need to get out and move on. Go on a date with someone new. Make a profile on a dating website. Talk to other men in your life. This guy will never be yours, he won't leave his family or his wife. Even if she found out about you, she might stay with him and try to work through it. You deserve more than this, so does his wife, and so does his kid.