[Popcorn&Candy]

To be blunt, I'd write this one off and move on. You're right to be impatient and fed up. You deserve respect and that means him making the effort. He obviously isn't reliable and never will be. I can't say why he's so unreliable, but you've got every right to be angry. You'll never change him: he will always let you down. I'd cut your losses and move on.

[atskitty2]

Popcorn, I'm not going to write him off, and I'm not angry about anything. Just frustrated and disappointed.

I've decided to just let it ride...
I'm going to respond to messages, and be the same as always. But I've decided to stop initiating a conversation. Up to now, that's been pretty equal effort. I'm going to step back and just see if I stop making effort, if he makes any additional effort. I feel kinda like it's playing games, but I'm tired of a pen pal that I may never see again. It's getting silly.

If it fizzles, it fizzles. If he's not going to make the effort to keep this alive, I'm not going to cling to hope or make excuses for him, in the way of possible health difficulty. Seems to me, that a man who wants me would say look, I wanna be with you but right now, my body is not cooperating. He said that in some way early on, but that's no reason or excuse to not see me at all. We can do other things. I told him that.

So, my patience is strong, but my hope is fading. Lol

I think I have reached a reasonable decision on how to handle myself. Not cutting him out, but not making effort to continue either really...let him lead.

[a_dub]

Kitty, sorry for you feel frustrated and disappointed. On behalf of males everywhere, let me offer an apology!

[atskitty2]

Thanks a-dub. It's ok really, tho.
I'm not even frustrated any more. It'll be what it's gonna be, and I'd be fine with either outcome at this point.

I've made myself available, he's not stepped up. I'm far beyond begging or chasing any man lol

If we come out just friends, I'd be happy with that. I have several male friends that began as dating, and this may be another.

[Popcorn&Candy]

I think you've made the right decision, atskitty2. Just let it ride and don't take the initiative. If it fades, it fades. You're also right to not let your hopes get high. I don't really have any advice, but it is a shame.

[atskitty2]

He actually got into town a half day early this week....
Maybe he will make some progress on his personal affairs and reach out to meet.

Since I sent those messages, he has definitely been more communicative. I've made less effort, and I have noticed a difference in how much he's contacting me... including pics from his travels and what he's doing...
So, we will see. Could be a genuine effort or just an attempt to keep me hanging on.

[atskitty2]

Turn of events...

I didn't anticipate seeing him until maybe the weekend. He'd hinted at having a project he was working on this evening and maybe getting it done early. So I asked if he wanted to meet. He beat around the bush for an hour...so I went on and did what I had to do tonight, thinking this was just it.

After 7, he said he'd finally finished and was sorry, that if it wasn't too late he'd like me to come over.
So I got to his place, unshowered and a mess after 8. I wondered if it was a booty call...

It was a nice evening. I remembered after about 15 minutes, why I was so interested. So nice to be around him, and why I've waited so long to see him.

We chatted, caught up and then I left. We made plans for tomorrow night.
He actually apolized for the weeks that's passed. He said it's been 6 wks since we met. No excuses but he told me more of what had happened the last month.

He was nervous. I could see it. He really struggled to maintain eye contact and I finally just pulled him to me and squeezed him. That seemed to do the trick. He even held my hand for a moment.

Definitely not the way I thought this was gonna go. So, I'm encouraged.

[Naiwen]

Good for you, but I had always been impatient with my own partners before (when I had not found out about my sexual orientation). But yeah, best luck to you!

[Texasred]

You mentioned that when he's gone for a while you don't even expect to see him for a couple days after he returns. This stood out to me because any man I have ever dated who was truly into me would have been bee-lining to see me as soon as he returned...

LOL!
Once I was on a solo motorcycle vacation in Colorado, and after being gone for only about 4 - 5 days, I was talking to my then-girlfriend one night and she told me how much she missed me and wanted to see me. I got on the motorcycle early the next morning and didn't get off it except once every two hours to stretch my legs for a minute until I pulled into her driveway 1300 miles and just over 15 hours later!
Yep, bee-lining, that's what that was! :-))

[atskitty2]

Maybe my expectations should be higher, idk. At this point we're not really more than friends, and he's hardly my boyfriend.

If I had that lifestyle, I can't really see myself doing it differently. I wouldn't go straight to a guy that I was casually dating, when I had a lot of work to do at home. Maybe I should demand more from a man, idk.
If I were more comfortable and in an established relationship then, maybe I would, but I don't want anything that intense either...just something a bit more than the current situation lol