[purplehaze]

BG There is only one problem whith that thought process...Men like him do not have a conscious. Thats why they can do what they what and have no remorse !! he is only trying to save his *** with his wife so she does not take him to the cleaner. Also this is why everyone said not to contact him. He could care less what you say until it benefits him and as long as you stay in touch with him, he know he has a hold on you. This man is scum, stop lowing yourself to his level

[CHANDLERS WISH]

actually CW, My writing him the 2 emails was more of a Cleansing to me.

After every paragraph or " Memory of our Sharing " I put " Were you trying to save your marrige then ? "

It wasn't to get himto come back... I deserve better than him.

But, in that... you gave him exactly what he wanted. 1) The depth of love that you had & 2) The assistance to try to hang on to his marriage, remember, he had no intentions of telling her anything until you children decided to scare the carp out of him, and in that he didn't even say BG, it was just "phew, thanks"... HE WON.

If you want cleansing? Print those pages out, go to the lake, burn it into the wind.

I know which one he will show her, but I hope the truthful one of how selfish and self serving he is, will linger in his mind. Maybe save the next Baby Girl from ever happening.

Unfortunately, I doubt that you've given him a guilt trip, he would have purely deleted it and I doubt he would have read it all either.....and I so wish that you never sent that, but alas, it's done.

As PurpleHaze said, he's "scum"..

And, you are right, give it 12 months or so? And, he will seek again, as he will feel more confident, he will know what to be careful of, pictures, text messages, PROOF... Where he made mistakes, he will think he will be able to do it better next time.

Hun, I doubt that she is stupid.... When a woman "chooses" to believe, in the back of her mind, there is no more trust and so, she will always have doubts... And, so she will, now often snoop....

Yes, Karma IS going to bite him in the bum..... I'm glad your feeling much better, but I honestly suggest that you do print that out and burn it to the Universe, by the lake...

We are all, thinking of you and feel free to vent here whenever you need to.....

In a way, whilst I am not vengeful, I would forward one of his text messages to him, per month hahahaha, to scare him.. Only joking

CW

[BabyGirl]

Thanks PH and CW..
I have no plans or Desires to contact him ever again..

I also am not Not a Door Mat that can be walked on. I did it the way I did, because I know he does or I should say Did have a Conscience . The reason I know this, is that I have a Voicemail he left one time when I did try to end it, or more like try to help him Fix his marriage ( before we got as involved as we did) And It is a real true emotion of regret for losing me. Not a fake one. I can tell it in his voice and if you heard it you could too .

*** BTW I might be able to post it in my Profile. Not sure if it is allowed or not. Or if anyone wanted to hear it to judge for themselves I could email it. But that is not the point, all his other voicemails are the same, normal and no "Exceptional " Emotions in his voice in this one.. It is hard for men to keep emotions out of their Voice when not trying to Power over or about women ***

And even though I am not a Vengeful person, I am a woman who feels wronged and if I have the feeling of the Slightest chance is that he feels a sliver of shame or guilt for what he has done with me ( Not To Me) , Then It will ease the pain and hopefully have it subside more quickly.

With that said,

CW.... Maybe someday I can burn the "Story" But not right now.. Even though I feel better, I still think of him, sometimes in anger, sometimes with sadness, sometimes just remembering the good times. I hear a Diesel Truck in my parking-lot work, My mind goes to him, I see a Grey one like his while driving, same thing, My mind goes to him. I am Starting to try and curb that part of my reactions and pain .
Also, he has a Common Name, one that many of my other Customers have and when I greet them by name, His face or thoughts of him pop up. So Yes, it will take time. But I am progressing slowly.

On him finding another " BabyGirl" sometime in the future, I have a feeling that that is Extremely possible, only it won't be because he is still married. His wife is an Alcoholic in Denile and evidently drank the night he told her and the next couple of nights. This is another reason why I sent the " Good Letter" to show her. I didn't want to feel responsible for her getting so Angry or Hurt that she Drank and Drove , Hurt herself or even Killed herself or Anyone else on the road.

As angry as he said she was over just a few Wayward kisses That he admitted to,,,, and she drank for 2 or 3 days. If she knew the whole truth, I can't say what she could have or would have done, either to herself or others that are innocent in this.

*** He knows her better than I and it is possible that, that is why he only told her about Kisses ?. He did say that her heart couldn't take any more of the truth then his admission to kissing me and seeing me occasionally and she would leave him for sure. ***

Not making excuses for him or judging him on this.... I am however, Covering My Bum, with my Great Spirit ...In the fact that I did try to prevent harm to others , once I knew that my Words or Actions could be Detrimental, if even by proxy.
IE: Someone injured or even killed in a car accident because I gave him no choice but to tell the whole truth and she got Drunk and Angry and drove and caused harm to others. ( That is KARMA and Would be Repayed)

So.... my ignoring or seeming to ignore all of the advice... It had more than a " trying to keep in contact or available, more than a Giving him what he wanted so he can pretend this never happend or rescuing his marriage " to it.. It had to do with my Conscience. And what I could or would be able to live with.


Wilst (what a Kool Word)

I am not Vengeful Myself Either CW.


I also am not laxing in Smarts .. If he does try to contact me, at my work or if his wife ends up in jail for DWI or she leaves him . And he wants to " get the hook up again with me " Not only will he get the 17 page letter AGAIN and the Cold Shoulder . I will notify her if in jail or Arrested, ** Yes I have that Ability***

[CHANDLERS WISH]

" Not only will he get the 17 page letter AGAIN and the Cold Shoulder . I will notify her if in jail or Arrested, ** Yes I have that Ability***

Are you saying, "you" would be arrested or in jail, if he contacted you again? Tell me your joking please.

I understand your thoughts regarding her safety and why, so it's all good... Now, try to heal and concentrate on you as you are, and that picture of that girl who is on the swing, happy, because you will be in the near future again...

[BabyGirl]

Sorry CW, didn't mean to confuse you. I meant should she drink & drive and go to jail, because in this State, you can get a year in Jail for a 2nd Drunk Driving offence And she already has one offence on her record..

That is when I know he would contact me. As he would be alone and she could be gone a year.. I told him if he contacted me again, I would send her the whole Story including pic's and texts to her in Jail. As I have resources , ( a Family member that works in the Jail), she would definately have some reading material .

[CHANDLERS WISH]

cool understand..

For the first time, I see smarts

Glad I got that cleared up...

FOR another note? Your new thread of humor? I've read something simular but not in the detail you wrote and cracked up laughing

You are a spirited person that's for sure, pretty proud of you actually

Hang in there, sunshine.

CW

[BabyGirl]

Thanks WC, Oh and I Didn't Write the Wax Job, just saw it about 5-6 years ago and was looking for things to keep me smiling, So found that again & thought I would share it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hey WC? Why do people do that? Put WC replying to me and CW replying to you

[WildChild]

Hey WC? Why do people do that? Put WC replying to me and CW replying to you

It is because we are both Godesses.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Darn, I knew that

Sorry BG, highjacked your thread Hope you smiled.....