[CHANDLERS WISH]

I needed to feel love when I could not get it from my wife.

SWEARING, SWEARING, SWEARING.... cause I can't on here Oh yes I can, WTF?

Selfish. Selfish.Selfish..

I'm sorry for being unfaithful to my loving wife

Well, he's just digging a deaper hole now isn't he. He's so frightened of losing her, based on what you have that could bring him down.

And, he has the nerve to tell you " My Loving Wife?" When all the time he was trying to make you believe he was in a bad marriage and needed you and loved you... Selfishly, he used you.

What would I do?

Mmmmmm.


"Seems your loving wife was always your loving wife, not the picture you painted. Remember cheater, what goes around comes around" and I would leave it at that.. hehe.

[BabyGirl]

I Changed my Pic. No more Tears for me !!!! I texted him I'd think about it on the email about a few kisses. And he said Take your time BG .. Still calling me BG. I am Sure he expects me to save his Butt by complying with his wishes. CW, I don't think I could even write what you suggested at least not tonight.

If he opened what I feel like saying in front of his wife , expecting a Nice Apology. all Heck would break out I'm sure. I know I am at fault in this too.
I share the blame knowing what I was doing was wrong. But I don't deserve to just be tossed out like trash . And help rescue him at the same time ?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sweetheart, I love your new photo good for you.

Look, for sure you have to take some blame, he was married.

But when you first came here, it was evident that you were smitten, you had a dream and you felt all his pain ( suposid pain), when now you have clearly established there was none, it was all lies, HE wanted, so HE took and HE lied...

For that, he does not deserve you to rescue him... There, he needs to stand up as a man and take what ever happens, you have to live now without what you dreamed... After all is he not TAKING again? Otherwise.........

Sleep on it, but no you don't deserve what he has done and he does not deserve your pity....

Don't remember the man you met, see the man as he is, NOW right in front of you as this WAS the man all the way along.

CW

[sourpuss]

Do. NOT. Reply to any texts or emails. DO NOT!!!

[rcoreyus]

I think that at this point you should just end it cleanly. If you feel like it, send him a final text that you will not respond to any future ones. Maybe say that you have learned a lot from this.

Its not worth being angry - at him, at yourself, at anyone. This sort of situation happens - and eventually people recover - hopefully with some hard-earned wisdom.

FWIW, if I knew you personally I would absolutely not hold this sort of thing against you. I understand how these situation can develop - and you have my sympathy, untainted by any negative feelings.

[Fallen1]

Do. NOT. Reply to any texts or emails. DO NOT!!!

I second that !!!!

I haven't replied to this thread until now but have been following it. I was in a very similar situation years ago and when it ended guess who out of the two of us got ALL the blame and the muddied name? Me. Still to this day I hear from his sister-in-law (who is still friends with me and knows how he is) telling me how his wife is still talking trash about me and how her poor poor wonderful husband was taken advantage of. She's just recently even been spreading rumors that I cheated numerous times on my ex husband.

It's funny how it seem that the female in these types of situations gets the bad rap and the male is innocent.

Keep your chin up. You will make it through this and come out on the other side stronger.

[caterpillar79]

I second Fallen on that. I was avoided like a plaque at my previous workplace by a co-worker who was supposedly our mutual friend. I didn't bother to make amends or anything, for I didn't wrong her at all. she has her issues against me, I just ignored. I ignored her and all the other co-workers who were one-sided.

BG, please cut all means of communication. DO NOT text back nor email (back). I like what Richard said. Text or email him telling him that that is the final one and that he should quite contacting you. Have that cutting of communication be documented as you might need it later (which I hope not).

Take care. BTW, I like your new pic.

[BabyGirl]

I did Both..


I took from the ones that had Opinions. Feelings and Advise of what they did or would do ?

I was sooooo Torn after 9 pages ,,

Loving someone to me does Not End the second you are hurt or the second you find out you may be able to move on or the second that you get mad, find that you were used , or even realize yourself that you let yourself be used or let yourself be in a situation that You could be Hurt from or Hurt others..

So I Did Both.

I wrote him two Emails, # One Of my Pain, of how I Felt. #One of how Everything transpired ( Longer then the thread Posts Here ) .. Took me 3 days and over 17 pages of just the Basic's of our " Love" because I remember every moment.. No One wants to have me write what I felt .. Lol. I think 9 pages is enough on this post..



And then.....

I really don't know why, but I sent him a # 2 (Two) Email .."

Sorry about Friendship Kisses " one that he could show is wife....."Since he only told her we had a couple of Kisses over the past year, when she wasn't loving him ". Yeah right...

So I did send him one that was a Basic

#1......Thanks for being my friend and helping me over my loss of my Hubby and I hope I helped you with your wifes " Menopausal" probs, Yadadayadadda yadda , Hope we can be friends crapolla..

Then Told him, He must choose One of the emails to Show the wife, .. Either the One to Hold Dear to his Heart Or the One to show her.

If he chose the One of Honesty, In his Heart.. He would have Both.... Or Either.. And My Final words were ~~~

You can live with or without your woman, with or without your dogs, But in the end Chosing either one will End a part of you. And teach you who you are, what kind of man You are..

I did get back a " Thanks hun ,but she is drinking and still not talking to me . I'll show her the email apology in the morning .

Thanks again ***** ( my name) Not even the BG ??

[CHANDLERS WISH]

To me?

It was your attempt, to have him "come back to YOU", to change the horrible thoughts you've had over the past couple of days, the need and desire to be told " it was real"...

You "unfortunately" have your closure BG...

He "expected" as you have a good heart, you will / would, get him out of the shirt....

He "calously" didn't care of the hurt, didn't care of the games, didn't care of the lies.. He just wanted you to save him, even after telling you why he did what he did, and what you really meant to him... an affair, an emotional affair, regardless of the knowledge of your dreams...

You did what he expected.

You did what we tried to get you not to do

But, never the less, she can't be that stupid, it will come out in the end...

Let's hope he's stupid enough to give her the email, (with your email address on it), sorry I don't believe in revenge but I do believe in what comes around goes around.

And, everything about what he has done has been selfish and for HIMSELF.

Please see this as CLOSURE... the raw, reality of exactly what transpired, not the 17 pages of the "dream" you had that has been shattered into the real world, of what it was.

CW

[BabyGirl]

actually CW, My writing him the 2 emails was more of a Cleansing to me.

After every paragraph or " Memory of our Sharing " I put " Were you trying to save your marrige then ? "

It wasn't to get himto come back... I deserve better than him.

In my mind if he was or is as sensitive and guilt ridden, over his decisions he makes/ made , this past year, I was hoping the verbal " Swords" would hit home. That maybe he would see himself from anothers eyes or even from the eyes of his conscience .

In writing both, he then had to Feel and make a decision on What kind of Man he is, make and accept the decisions and actions of which letter to show her.

I know which one he will show her, but I hope the truthful one of how selfish and self serving he is, will linger in his mind. Maybe save the next Baby Girl from ever happening.

I hope she is not that stupid, and I am not vengeful myself, but I do hope she ferrets out the truth from his actions from now on. If he is like he was when we were together, the Guilt will eat at him and show thru eventually.

Yes Karma is " what comes around goes around." And I do feel much better. What we shared wasn't a Dream, it was a Nightmare and now I am awake..