[KMonte85]

I've been following your situation, but didn't post on here as I didn't feel there was anything for me to contribute. However I think I have some advice for you now for your current situation: I think it is time you just let it go... you're causing undue stress on yourself, and it is time you allow yourself some peace in your life.

I'm sure you're daughter was just trying to protect you, but honestly, she has nothing, NOTHING to do with the situation between you and John. She should not have gotten involved, sent any threats, nor should she say anything further to him. End that nonsense right away, she is fueling a fire that should not even be lit by her.

As for keeping those messages/texts/incriminating evidence and potentially using them in the future, it just seems like a bad idea. What good will his wife have if she's leaving him and you show her those texts? So she will feel foolish for spending that time with him while he was with you? So she can also place partial blame on you for ending her marriage (and don't think she won't)? So you lose respect in your profession once the word gets out what you were doing with a married customer?

The affair is over, BUT society does not suffer mistresses well, even if she's no longer the mistress. You will out him and yourself and cast yourself in a pretty unseemly light. Learn to forgive. Forgive yourself for getting in the situation in the first place, forgive him for hurting and blaming you so coldly, and move on with your life. Seeking punishiment for restitution for what you feel was a wrong against you will not heal your pain, it will only make you bitter. And any plans for future vengence will not help you, it will hurt you more.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

BG, I am very much in agreeance with everything, KMonte just stated above, everything.

I am sad also that you changed your profile picture to one with tears.

Your stronger than that, your native. Whilst you are angry and hurt, you MUST realise, that your LUCKY. Lucky that you saw something that didn't register and from that, he chickened out of all of this, when he had you at "hello", all the words came out, when he realised you were seeing clearly, he showed his true colours. Had that not happened, 12 more months would have gone by..or more...... And, he did not get to taste that fruit.

This is not a man to cry over, he does not deserve it...

Stay strong... you need to look after yourself.

CW

[BabyGirl]

firstly to KMonte.

You are right . My "daughter" had no right to do as, and she knows I'm very mad and hurt with her. I understand why she did it, but it was not her place.

She was just talking BS and was trying to scare him so he would leave me alone from now on. But it has now backfired Big Time. I made her write an apology to " John " for what she did. And I emailed it to him with my apology that she took it upon herself to be my " Protector". Told him Goodbye and to try and be happy in his marriage and I hoped we both learned from and could grow from this.

I do not know if he got the email or not ? As I didn't know if he read it at work or would get it when he gets home, which is still in about 2 hours from now.

I did get a text from him this lunchtime (his) saying he confessed to his wife and that he was not mad at me or my family and that he should never had started this in the first place. He said he was afraid that my daughter would go thru with the threats and decided to tell his wife that he cheated on her, he said he didn not want all the details known to his wife.

He said she is leaving him and that would have happened if we'd gotten caught or the facts were sent out. Either way it was done, his wife would have left him anyway when she found out. He also said he never wanted to see me again.

Which I understand, as I have caused him pain and given him the oportunity to be unfaithful with me all this time. I am a shared blame in this. I could never hurt someone I loved like this on Purpose. I never asked him to leaver her, never expected us to be together in the near future. I just enjoyed the time and part of him that he could share with me when he could.

CW, That is why my Tears face, It was bad enough that I have been hurting like this , but to know that even inadvertantly, my having his texts, has caused him so much pain. Is breaking my heart double time.

And worse is that Saturday when he said it was over, I almost erased his name and number and everything to do with him. But I couldn't. I felt I could hold on to them and delete them when and if my heart healed or I was less hurt or to keep them so I could read and re-read them and feel the pain until I wanted to feel it no more. And learned to move on.

And Now it is over for us all, his wife and him and mysef.... I don't know if what he said is true or not, I don't know if he was just making sure Ali would not send anything if she thought it was over with his wife ? I know she could never send them without my permission and That was something I decided would never be done while he was married.

I was however unsure of Never letting his wife know. Now there is no need for me to even consider the keeping or not keeping them for any purpose other than memories and to help me heal from this.

I have decided to delete 1 text each day, starting with the more loving and emotional ones and photos, after I just go thru and delete the small talk. I should be down to below 100 after the small daily type talk and the short "love you , good mornings and sweet dreams BG's.".

I don't know if this will help, but maybe it will, this is a slow process for me, it is hard to take a years worth of love and pretend it never happend. If it was easy to do so, it would not have been love at all. Even if it was a wrong love it was real !!!!

Time will tell. Thanks to everyone once again. My Picture thingy will remain until I feel less like crying.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

BG, I call BS...

How appropriate (fear will do that) to write to you and inform you that it's over, he told his wife and she's leaving and then ending it with I don't ever want to speak to you again. Even you question that and that's your "gut feeling" and always follow your intuition.

In the past few weeks since you've been here, you attempted to try to speak what we were questioning to ask, " what if?" and this I believe is why he has cut you off like a cold potato, because there was never going to be an "if"... and again, fear set it, his wife will find out..

I think it's good to start deleting, I understand it takes time and I do understand your tears....

If I was able to place a bet though? I would bet that his wife has not been told anything...

I am sorry that all the "words" spoken were ones that made you believe.... focus on something else, he is not worth your tears.

CW

[sourpuss]

I know that you're hurt and it's hard what happened. But I think at this point the best thing to do is to walk away and not allow him to affect you anymore. Every ounce of energy you spend being sad, mad, hurt, etc. is energy you could spend being happy. As long as you feel for him, he has the power in the situation. Concentrate your energy on yourself, where it should be.

[BabyGirl]

Either way CW, it is Over. I accept that. I can easily find out if what he says is true or not when or if his son or sons friends come into my store. I can always ask how he's doing ? They have no idea this has been going on. They actually give me hugs and call me their " Auto Mom " as I help them with their cars. But I will wait on even asking if I see them in the next month or so.
Or I can just drive by later this week and see if his wifes truck is there . But Right now, I need to let go and just accept that this is over. Not sure I want to know if it's true she's leaving or not. Either way, truth or fiction to dump me forever, it will cause pain.

I will just bury myself in my work and get thru this one day at a time. Just like I did when Luis , my Husband , left. I survived that and will survive this too.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

As long as you feel for him, he has the power in the situation.

A very, very good statement..

It is your dream that was dumped...not you....... and so.... dump his memory.......

[BabyGirl]

Oh SNAP !!! OMG !!!!

I didn't just get the text I Got ? He asked me to write an txt or email apologizing for" The Few Kisses" we have shared this past year. He said he told his wife we were friends and saw each other occasionally on and off this past year and we kissed a few times when he was mad at her and nothing further happened between us. and he finally said no more to me. He says she's very mad but may not be leaving because he was feeling guilty and confessed and can I help him with this ??? WTF ???

Then Sent me a Dear " John " Letter to me !!!! I'm sure written for his wifes behalf ..

[CHANDLERS WISH]

hahahahaha.

OMG, I didn't mean to laugh but you have this guy totally 1) shirting himself and 2) see? He is in love with his wife...

Don't you dare....

He made his bed let him lie in it... She wants proof that that is all it was. He told her "friends" through fear that your daughter was going to let it all loose, send on those text messages, which "clearly" show you were NOT just friends.

I would let him stew, not reply... Please don't reply....

What a.........................can't say, I'll get banned

CW

[BabyGirl]

In Red because I'm seeing red.


But here is his Dear " John " letter .

I hope I can repair my marriage with my wife. She is very angry with me, and I felt compelled to tell her about us. I've said so many times before that I cannot make love or sex because of the guilt I felt. I needed to feel love when I could not get it from my wife. This is not fair to you, and your heart was in the right place just with the wrong man. Your personal life should be yours and yours only. You have some very caring family and they were looking out for your best interest.

This relationship was a long time ending and we just didn't know how to let go, with out more pain. I'm sorry for being unfaithful to my loving wife and I'm sorry for hurting you.

Good bye XXXXX ( my Name)

XXXXX His Name