[caterpillar79]

You need to reach up to 33 posts for you to be given a PM option.

Cry if you have to. Talk to yourself in the mirror and do whatever it takes to get that out of your system. It will be a long journey for you, but it will pass. Hang in there.

[caterpillar79]

You can utilize your page and other's to send and receive visitor's messages while waiting for your PM option.

[BabyGirl]

Thanks, Not sure i really want to do anything right now, Crying is healthy but I have always been the Strong one in my family. Learned from my Cherokee Grandmother, that you may Cry in Silence. But always show the Strength that you were Brought up to be !!


And back then. We cried in Private, and now I cry in a ( Private ) Forum, that we did not have when I was growing up.

[BabyGirl]

And you really don't want me posting Advice here. I'm too hurt and upset to make any sense to any others. It would just be a "Tear Fest'.

[BabyGirl]

You need to reach up to 33 posts for you to be given a PM option.

Cry if you have to. Talk to yourself in the mirror and do whatever it takes to get that out of your system. It will be a long journey for you, but it will pass. Hang in there.

please feel free to use the " Notification " message thing on my profile thing. I am willling to accept all advise.
Evidently CW befriended me and left a message that I was posting to myself ?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Evidently CW befriended me and left a message that I was posting to myself ?

Sweetheart, I was trying to let you know that you answered me on your own page, so I never realised you had written to me, and therefore, to click on my name, on the right and post on my page...

There is alot of me in you. That meaning, being, that you are filled with love, you want love, you give love, but there will always be people out there in this world that will take, take, take and so, our hearts hurt.

I learnt along time ago however, to "forgive" those whom do that because, in reality they are lost souls, a "good" soul who has found their way in life, wouldn't contemplate it, would they. So, smile in that knowing that you are more intune with life, with you, with love and those whom abuse it, use it, will walk through life, never really knowing what it is, even though you have touched them, shown them, they can't deal with it, maybe they think they don't deserve it but you've shown the way, it's their choice now.

John...

Again, his words were cold... again, he tried the "blame game"... it wasn't your smoking, I smoke and my boyfriend does not want me to anymore, but he is the one that said, " please stop smoking, I want you to be with you for ever, not a couple of years".... I hear that daily when I light one... that is love.

You are going to go through a variety of emotions now and anger is definately one of them...

Never stop being who you are. Someone will "see" clearly, one day and love everything about you, every part of what you have/ and do give, in love.

But, we can be nieve and believe all that we are told... If you were to be a fly on the wall, of their house, I suspect that he likes being the knight, I suspect that he is actually happy with her, and I suspect you would see that.

And, yes, I suspect there will be another BabyGirl.

To "expect" you to smile? When you see him and to expect it's okay to walk into your work? Who does he think he is?

I see no heart..

But I see a big one on your side

This may be a "private" forum, in your eyes but it is one that people care, and will be here for you, so you can post what ever your feeling, let it all out.... just don't (swear)

I wonder seriously if because you "threatened" it was over, he "tried" to keep it, for his own selfish reasons, but the more he thought, the more he knew it had come to the end of the journey, that you would/ are seeing more clearly of what it is, and therefore, he has to make it sound like it was your fault... and end it..

But, I do think you started to see.. And, I do think he started to see that.... And, to sit on a rock in rain for 10 minutes, was the key to him, that you were seeing.....

Do not allow his words to ring "True" they do not... It's his guilt he's trying to cover up, for all the instigations for self absorbtion , self gain, right to the end...

[jns]

HisExBabyGirl: You are moving in the right direction. He wasn't committed to make things work. Face it, you were third in line after his wife and his pugs for his love. I guess he couldn't get the relationship he was looking for from his wife or his pugs (maybe they turned him down, too), so he sought you out.

The part about the smoking is ridiculous. He knows that is part of you, so he should have got used to it. If you are discreet, brush your teeth a lot and use breath fresheners, so much the better. But to deny that, or to try to force you to change just won't work, and further more is controllling. By the way, I don't smoke, don't like smoking and don't like second hand smoke, but I will not attempt to restrict those that do smoke if they are responsible (by responsible, I mean such things as not littering or carelessly setting forest fires). I'm against smoking bans - I don't have to go into bars or restaurants, but also against having second hand smoke at my work give me a headache every day.

What concerns me even more is his indifference to your diabetes. I guess he didn't do any research into it and didn't care to, sowing his level of care about you. Until I was diagnosed with diabetes, I hadn't really done much research myself. If, as a diabetic, you want to live a long life without the threat of gangrene and amputation, you have to control your carbohydrate input. Most of society does not try to accommodate diabetics with some low carb choices. They sometimes do with vegetarian fare for those who don't eat meat, offerings without pork for religious peoples and other accommodations, but I've seen too many times that orange juice and glazed donuts were all that was offered, not even drinking water.

Keep the memories of the good times, but harden your position about going back to the relationship. There are too many problems with it that cannot be fixed.

[rcoreyus]

BG, I'm very sorry this has ended this way. I think you know though that there really wasn't a future in that relationship: It could never grow if he stayed with his wife, and a man who would leave his wife would likely leave you in the future.

I think all you can do is consider it to be very hard earned experience - one of those things in life that makes you the person that you are. I can only imagine how badly you feel - and I'm very sorry. Don't blame yourself - there are many people who have through the best intentions found themselves in this sort of situation - and many more who would if the conditions were right.

When you are ready, you will find there are a lot of wonderful people out there.

[BabyGirl]

Jns, Thank you, I don't know how, but I actually laughed, The "Pugs turning him down "



On the Diabetes,I'm and have been a Borderline with more hypo tendencies. I have controlled this by Diet for over 30 years. But it is good info to post to others out there to read on
But Stress is a Major factor in glucose control.

I am also a heart patient since Birth. Had an experimental Surgery in 1959, I am still here , so it worked. with residuals, but it's still ticking, so thats a Positive .

Though these emotions are messing with my heart physically and emotionally, I will strive to keep it all under control and Survive this stronger than I was yesterday.

[BabyGirl]

RC.
a thanks to you also, you are probably right about if he would cheat on her with me, that had we gotten together , he would or could cheat on me.
It's just hard to accept someone claiming so much love, can drop it like he did.
i don't know much about forums and posting things, but am learning. I did post in my profile ? I think ?

That I doubt he will ever contact me again. as one of my " adopted " Daughters got ahold of his txts on my Cell when she took me to ER, yesterday for Heart issues, Medical ones from stress.

Anyway she tore into him via text for over 2 hours, Threatened to copy over 300 txts and pic's and stuff and take it to his wife, to their home or send Via Mail when he was at work. She sent him some of his racier texts to me to his cell. I forgot I had some of those.
He first told her to " Bring it On" then said he's have her and her b/f arrested if they showed up at his house. Then he said mail them it will keep the Postman employed. That was his last text .

I did tell her not to do that, (send it to their home) to let it go, But if he and his wife ever break up. It will be very hard for me not to show her how lucky she was to have him out of her life. Maybe I am realizing I am the lucky one right now.

I will decide later on what to do with them. I'm not vengefull or don't think I am