[chaya]

I have been looking through my things and found the news paper articles about my assault. I plan on giving them to him along with the letter.

I'm so tired now I can't hardly see but afraid of going to sleep yet. I just ate, my aunt had pork chops but I just ate a little and a lot of salad. My blood glucose has been going wild all day. I have to stay awake another 2 hours to test it before I go to sleep or I could be in trouble.

Thanks for being concerned about me, not to worry us T1 diabetics are tough, we have to be to stay alive.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

chisaki,

My heart goes out to you, and the strength you have is amazing...

You know, your fiancee is your fiancee for a reason, he loves you... And, as a policeman, he sees and hears all day everyday.. His heart will go out to you, you will be fine...

We'll be thinking of you....

CW

[Allie602]

Take care and watch that you don't get your blood sugar too low. Do you have people around who can stay with you in case you have a crisis? Someone who knows how to test your blood glucose and administer glucose if you become unconscious? This may not be the first thing on your mind right now but have you looked into glucose pump? Try to take care.

[chaya]

I'm feeling a lot better, Tuesday night I don't even remember making that post. I hadn't gotten any sleep for 2 nights so I just crashed and didn't wake up for 8 hours. I've decided not to tell him until tomorrow, I can't afford to dump any more classes or I might not be able to catch up. So he is going to pick me up at school tomorrow.

Thanks for the concern about my diabetes and blood sugar. I'm staying with my aunt, she knows that I am diabetic and could have problems. I've never actually been in a DKA coma but I have lost conscienceless from low BG. I've been a T1 diabetic since I was 3 years old and have taken care of myself since I was 7. Controlling my BG comes natural to me but when I'm stressed, it is the most dangerous time. I have an OmniPod pump, I don't like to use it when I'm with my fiance. It's weird to have it attached to me when we're in bed. LOL I like to use on school days. He knows I'm diabetic and is ok with that, I have been teaching him more about it all the time. We met when i was having a major hypoglycemia attack. I was bike riding and misjudged the effect of biking up a long hill. My BG got low and I found I only had 1 glucose tab in my pack. I was sitting on the curb next to my bike when the patrol car drove up. He was one of the police and they took me to a drive-through where I got a sweet coke. Then they drove me home and he sat in the back seat with me. I gave him my phone number and never expected to hear from him again but he called me that very evening and we dated every night he was off and eventually got engaged. He wouldn't sleep with me until we got engaged even though I was throwing myself at him. Now we both can't get enough. LOL

[jns]

I'm feeling a lot better, Tuesday night I don't even remember making that post. I hadn't gotten any sleep for 2 nights so I just crashed and didn't wake up for 8 hours. I've decided not to tell him until tomorrow, I can't afford to dump any more classes or I might not be able to catch up. So he is going to pick me up at school tomorrow.

Thanks for the concern about my diabetes and blood sugar. I'm staying with my aunt, she knows that I am diabetic and could have problems. I've never actually been in a DKA coma but I have lost conscienceless from low BG. I've been a T1 diabetic since I was 3 years old and have taken care of myself since I was 7. Controlling my BG comes natural to me but when I'm stressed, it is the most dangerous time. I have an OmniPod pump, I don't like to use it when I'm with my fiance. It's weird to have it attached to me when we're in bed. LOL I like to use on school days. He knows I'm diabetic and is ok with that, I have been teaching him more about it all the time. We met when i was having a major hypoglycemia attack. I was bike riding and misjudged the effect of biking up a long hill. My BG got low and I found I only had 1 glucose tab in my pack. I was sitting on the curb next to my bike when the patrol car drove up. He was one of the police and they took me to a drive-through where I got a sweet coke. Then they drove me home and he sat in the back seat with me. I gave him my phone number and never expected to hear from him again but he called me that very evening and we dated every night he was off and eventually got engaged. He wouldn't sleep with me until we got engaged even though I was throwing myself at him. Now we both can't get enough. LOL

Glad to hear everything is better and you are on track for Friday. Your story of how you met was great. So your fiancee is your hero, also. How sweet.

[tesoro]

That is a wonderful story about how the two of you met. He sounds like a very special man. Have faith, chisaki...It sounds like everything will be okay.
It is a very difficult thing you are going to do but you are a strong, resilient woman. The two of you are very much in love and that speaks volumes.

[Lunar Keiki]

I read your story and this entire thread earlier today and have been thinking of you all day. I know you are super anxious about this upcoming talk, but I just really feel that it is all going to go really smooth. The fact that he is a police officer means that he has a better understanding of what you went through than most men. He knows that is isn't your fault, that rape is an act of violence and not passion and that for you to be where you are today is a testament to your strength and courage.

Having to cope with T1 Diabetes practically your whole life is in and of itself a very difficult thing. I have kids of my own and my Dad is a T2 Diabetic, so I think of what life would be like if my kids had diabetes, and it is scary and sad. Yes, there are worse things in life, but to be a kid, to go to parties and not be able to have any of the sweets is so hard. Perhaps dealing with this gave you an inner strength that many of us don't have.

You are made of so much more than this tragedy you went through. And your bf sounds like he knows it. You are a very special person and I think he knows that. Now tomorrow you will find out how very special he is too!

Good luck. Post as soon as you can on how things went because I know there will be a lot of us thinking about you and sending you lots of hugs!

[BabyGirl]

Wonders if everyone else is thinking of Chisaki today, like I have all day ?

Praying everything is ok and that in the cleansing of her soul to the man she loves, Brings her closer to happiness, which she so richly deserves ?

[Olympia]

Wonders if everyone else is thinking of Chisaki today, like I have all day ?

Praying everything is ok and that in the cleansing of her soul to the man she loves, Brings her closer to happiness, which she so richly deserves ?

Yes, have been all day..

[chaya]

When he picked me up at school, he was so libidinous, he kissed me in the parking lot and I thought he was going to do me right there in the car. On the way home, I told him that I had something to tell him, when we got home, and it was important.

When we got home, he was acting like he wanted to go upstairs but I told him to sit down on the couch and we had to talk. I started by telling him that I was raped and almost died 2 days after my 17th birthday and the time I spent in the hospital. I was losing my voice so I handed him the envelope with the letter I had written and all the newspaper articles. I told him to read the letter first, then I laid back and closed my eyes and waited. A few times while he was reading I heard him say things like that's horrible and you poor girl. Then he asked me why I was telling him this? I said he needed to know especially the part about my inability to get pregnant and maybe never have children. He then hugged and kissed me and said we would face the children issue when the time come. I asked him if he still wanted to go upstairs so we did.

That's when I became sure it did make a difference to him. Every time we had made love before, he was up and ready. This time he was not. We just hugged and cuddled for a while and I was still so exhausted that I must have dozed off in his arms. When I realized he was kissing my forehead, I hugged him and was sobbing asked him if he still loved me? He said of course he did and we would be together forever and he loved me even more than before. Then we made love like never before, slow, gentle and so so good it seemed like we were blended together into one person. When we finished, I just laid there with him still inside me for a long time. I never wanted to move but I had to go pee so bad I had to get up.

When I went downstairs, I tested my blood glucose and it was over 280, that's very, very high for me and that explained why I had to go pee so bad. When my BG gets high my kidneys go into overtime trying to eliminate some of the glucose. This is bad because then there is a lot of glucose in my urine, which is why diabetics have so many yeast infections. All the stress has caused my diabetes to go out of control. I did the proper injection to reduce my glucose to normal.

Right now he is out picking up some Chinese take out for dinner. We decided to eat and stay at home tonight because I'm so tired from not sleeping much all week. I'm feeling so relieved now that I've told him, that I'll probably sleep for 12 hours once I go to bed. Only one more hurdle for me, I haven't told my engagement yet. I about decided to sent them an email and if they haven't called me in a couple of hours, call them. I have told my sister but I swore her to secrecy.

Thank you all for caring and for all the good advice. You helped me more than you'll ever know. I hope that someday I can help others like you helped me.