[rcoreyus]

Please, no offence intended, but you seem to be somewhat of a "land-mine" person. He may not know what behavior is approiate in a situation because he doesn't know what might set you off. Should he talke to her? Pretend not to notice? You know what bothers you, but he doesn't, and he tries to tread carefully.

hey anony-- i must be doing something right because we have been together for 5 years with only 3 month break up period


rcorey-- i dont understand what your little paragraph is trying to say::: this part anyway...Well, consider. You probably would have felt jealous if he had talked to her. You feel worried if he doesn't


i wouldnt of cared at all if he said hello to her because we both have known her forever. he works with her but the fact that he told me a fib saying he didnt see her but then said he saw her...i just found annoying

[CHANDLERS WISH]

hey chandler, how are you ? I have a quick question for you. The other day I was doing a walk with my boyfriend and obviously you see people you might know. Anyways, theres a girl we went to high school with and shes very nice. I have talked to her a lot in the past. She works my boyfriend now. He every once in a while sees her while he is with guy friends at a bar or something. Anyways, he saw her the other day at a place where we were and he didnt even say anything to her... i said how come you didnt say hi to her and he said i didnt see her but clearly he did. I saw him look over in the direction where her and her sister were standing. I always let my mind race but when i thought about this, i figured to get advice instead of saying anything to him. The only thing i said at dinner last night was why didnt you say to me that you didnt see the girl standing there with her sister when clearly i saw that you did....he said he got annoyed cause i kept asking him the same question over and over why he didnt say hi to her...he said theres nothing there to read into do why am i reading into it. He dont care...he asked why do i need to point her out. I said did something happen, did you 2 get into argument at work and he said no. He says im being ridiculous...and he said something else i cant remember but am i making an issue out of absolutely nothing. i got mad because he pretended he didnt see her when he told me that he did afterwards.....im being ridiculous huh?

Um yes... To the last 4 words... huh?

Clearly, whilst i didn't see the above question until now, directed at me, rcoreyus and anonomyouswhitefemale's comments are true to form.

Your over annalysing...in some instances, and in my opinion, the poor guy whilst obviously he loves you, is toooo frightened to do anything that may pertain to you thinking he is having an affair with someone else... Whilst you may feel that you wouldn't have cared, you know her, he should have acknowledged her, why not, why didn't he, etc, etc, why would he?

Think about it. He's kind of walking on egg shells! Ooops, if i do this, she will think that...

I have no idea what so ever, what your insecure about... Look at your last comment made:- " He's been with me five years out of which only 3 months he wasn't"...

Exactly...

Quit over-annylising every little thing he does, or one day, those 5 years will be, "well i wen't out with him for 5 and a half years, don't know what went wrong?"... sad....

lol.

True story...

CW

[Fallen1]

Um yes... To the last 4 words... huh?

Clearly, whilst i didn't see the above question until now, directed at me, rcoreyus and anonomyouswhitefemale's comments are true to form.

Your over annalysing...in some instances, and in my opinion, the poor guy whilst obviously he loves you, is toooo frightened to do anything that may pertain to you thinking he is having an affair with someone else... Whilst you may feel that you wouldn't have cared, you know her, he should have acknowledged her, why not, why didn't he, etc, etc, why would he?

Think about it. He's kind of walking on egg shells! Ooops, if i do this, she will think that...

I have no idea what so ever, what your insecure about... Look at your last comment made:- " He's been with me five years out of which only 3 months he wasn't"...

Exactly...

Quit over-annylising every little thing he does, or one day, those 5 years will be, "well i wen't out with him for 5 and a half years, don't know what went wrong?"... sad....

lol.

True story...

CW

I have to agree with everything Chandler has said.

[blonde3737]

HERES AN UPDATE::: my boyfriend got more money offered back at the job where he used to work with the woman he had the one night stand with.....he has been working there for 4 days now and i feel totally uncomfortble. Family and friends tell me that i i need to trust him...so im trying. Apparently, the woman got fired because they used to work together in the store and she got fired before he returned back to that store due to it offering him more money. Heres the deal, on his 3rd day....she came into work because she lives righ tnext to the store and i guess she was shopping. My bf was walking around the corner, saw her and then took a sharp left to try and leave the store but she yelled out his nameee so he had to turn around. He told me he gave her a half-heartly hug and talked for a minute. They talked about why he was back at the store, did he like old place and they talked about a guy friend of theirs who is now in jail. I was ****ed and below i will show you the conversation. All of the bold is me talking and the rest is him talking. If you dont already know about my problem with this woman, read back to the first page. Here is the conversation


hii...
he said hello...whats up
i said nothing but sounded upset so he said whats the matter and i told him

i said i was ****ed off- he said ok. When he saw her-- didn’t act
wasn’t long conversation all…he was just being nice. that’s it .i said Did you need to give her hug--she hugged him. He was just being nice. And then as walking away…nice to see you. He said which he told me he said it to be nice. What do you need to be so nice for--don’t read into it.-he said
If she wants to shop there, who is he to say
He doesn’t control her shopping habits.
She said she loves you is what i stressed to him from her saying she loves him before
It doesn’t matter cause he said he loves me
He said hunnie if you have nothing to worry about
U worried about me doing sumthing and I said I don’t know what im worried about--
i said Im worried about the whole situation-- hunnie absolutely nothing to worry about
Hes sorry I don’t like it.

he said :Hunnie you have to deal with it. Nothing to worry about. You Really have absolutely nothing to worry about. With anybody. Have I ever done anything before he asked me. You have nothing to worry about in the future…
i said ...Its with this woman I don’t feel comfortable…hes sorry I don’t like her
He doesn’t care for her either way.that’s where hes working
She might of asked if he liked it in old store or here…she told him about their friend who went away to jail, court date, nice to see you he said. Bye she said. He doesn’t think she said it back

i said that I just don’t like this situation at all that’s it….he said-=.well hunnie u have to deal with it please…
i said to him----If anything is said….with her saying stuff to you about you to someone else hunnie, you better say sumthing…and im saying that cause ill say something.
Hunnie you need to stop it.-he said
He wants me to worry about it ****i have no idea why i wrote that**** i think i meant doesnt want me to worry about it

i mentioned how he had a one night history with her…are you gonna intervene--and say something--what do you mean-he said and i said....the night you had. Why would she talk about you and I? He said why would she?== she wants to know if your with someone--maybe??- hunnie you have nothing to worry about-- no don’t worry about it.-- meaning him talking about him and I’s relationship

Hunnie you need to stop. Hes being nice and generous.--he said

i brought up how she is a 40 yr old who had sex with you and the next day said she loved you. She told your friend that
Scenario that its in. I don’t care about it and dont like it--this was me also

Hunnie we weren’t together when this happened.i said doesnt matter He said it matters, you should care.
Am I with you now? He said yeah. I said am I with you now does matter
Stop. You have nothing to worry about….nothing is going to happen, nothing to worry about so stop..


- this situation is uncomfortable for me--me speaking


Did he say don’t talk to the kid i talked to when i did
even if i did, he wouldnt have nothing, he wouldnt hold against him

this is all me ----Having sex with someone is different
Went out the door like nothing after you waited 3 years for you and i to have sex
It bothers me

this is his response ---Doesn’t matter what he did what we did , we weren’t together

I said it does matter
Same area that all this went down--same area refering to his job and her house in the area..
Soo he said don’t worry about. Nothings going on. Nothings going on, nothings gonna happen
Ok? I said no.

I have attitude problem he said-- I said how..im speaking with attitude. He doesn’t appreciate it. I shouldn’t be upset. He knows me but I shouldn’t be upset.

I don’t like that you 2 talked.
Yes i feel he did something wrong.
Could you of avoided her and you talking is what i asked... he said- he tried to avoid talking to her….he went down aisle so she wouldn’t see him. He didn’t feel like talking to her..
Trying to be nice talking to her-- he was trying to avoid the situation to see her. He said yeah---
How was it when you saw her--were you happy to see her?--what did I say.-he said. He tried to avoiding and said nice seeing you trying to be nice


Why did you call me earlier- he wanted to talk to me, why else would he call
I said hmmm

He doesn’t have anything else to say right now.

I have attitude cause I don’t like situation- you have to understand
He said I have to deal with it
Why do I have to deal with it--that’s where im working so you have to deal with it.

Why did you want to avoid her in the first place--i asked
He didn’t feel like saying hi to her I said why not - he didn’t want to

Were you afraid you might think about that night-- he didn’t want to see her.
No he just didn’t want to see her.


He has nothing against him

He doesn’t know why----,,,,I DONT KNOW WHAT I WROTE THIS--
It happened when we weren’t together- I shouldn’t be worried about it.

If I had sex with someone - if I talked to them-- more than I talked to you and still talking to them would you be upset..answer me its not funny---that was me talking
Go to work see me or there coming to get something--refering to if someone i had sex with came into my work and such
this is his response----It happened when we weren’t together-- he wouldn’t be upset as long as I didn’t talk to them more than he talked to me--refering to me talking to the person i would of had sex with more than i talked to my bf if that was the situation even though it wasnt

he said .....I need to just.---let it pass, not think about it, not worry about it-- he said. he then said yup justifying that

As long as your working their, itll prob bother me--i said....then he said- he cant help me with that. I said no I know. He said Im just gonna have to deal with it.’

Huh he said and i responded with what???
U gonna say anything-?? I said anything
he said dont be sarcastic
Im upset over nothing is why he is angry or upset, its ridiculous.
My feelings are ridiculous???- he said being upset about this is ridiculous I said k

Ive been aggravated the whole time-- tone- when aggravated- --this is me saying that

I didn’t do anything did I-- i asked him- he said im upset about nothing. Attitude towards him. Return his calls. I explained myself.

Hunnie, he wants to get off the phone---him

Hes not quitting and going to another store so deal with it…..ok
I hung up. After saying thanks.--this is him then i said ok and thanks, and hung up


Your wicked mean. you end it by saying that….--me talking
Hunnie..him and I -- have mostly have to deal with it. Mostly me. He doesn’t have an issue.
He said want me to sugarcoat i said you don’t have to be mean about it he said ok., its not being mean about it. Well then we agree to disagrree-- hes not being mean about it.

He said ok?
I said not just ok.
I said I don’t know. He said hunnie if you have to know. I said I don’t know. He said what? I just don’t know….he didn’t want to talk to her…he didn’t ask questions. He might of said something about his friend in jail but doesn’t remember..

So your not going to say something to her if I feel uncomfortable.
Hunnie your gonna feel uncomfortable no matter what
So is that a no-hunnie don’t worry about it.
don’t worry about the situation

don’t worry about you not saying anything--don’t worry about whole situation entirely.


You don’t feel weird when you saw her-- he would rather not see her at all. He doesn’t want to see her or talk to her. It was weird.he doesnt want to deal with her

Shut off-he said hunnie ive been biting my tongue this whole time………

He would rather not see her what the cant you understand that.,

K goodbye i said

He hung up

he called me back------
What? Hes sorry he exploded?
I said ok. Hes getting frustrated. Im just gonna shut off. He doesn’t want me too.
He doesn’t want me to shut off. that’s why hes listening to me. that’s why he lets me say anything I want. Hes trying to be there for me and help me through it.,….again and again and again.


Maybe you don’t want to be attracted to her--hes not attracted to her. he said No feelings for her. doesn’t want to see her.

Ok . He said you hear me. I don’t want to see her. all

Ok, im just not gonna say nothing. He wants me to express how I feel.
Im not trying to make him feel bad. he said well i was doing a good job.

Its frustrating when I ask same questions over and over..they don’t satisfy so he asks again again and again

I said uh huh. Ok. I hear you .

Im not gonna say nothing..

Its me asking same question over and over again understand that please.. Its not when I ask any question. Its certain question again and again and again. that’s what it is..

U hear me. He doesn’t want me to shut down, he is gonna say what he wants cause he wants me to say what I want

He gets real frustrated when I say over and over and over…so his frusteration gets out louder and louder..

K hunnie
I said uh huh

I love you, I want you to know that k.
I said uh huh

k. I said .

Ill tty tomorrow. Love you. Goodbye.
Nothing is a matter

Im just gonna change the way I do things…he said no.
Itll work out better-hes not saying for me to do that

If I don’t say anything itll make it better--this is me and then-he said about what- I said anything. He said no that’s not the answer..

he did say seeing her was weird

Well ill let you go cause your frusterated too..
He said k

K love you I said
He said k love you too


he called me back at 1115
he said hi hunnie.
Hi hunnie whats the matter.
This whole situation
im not going to talk About it anymore. I cant talk about it to you. He said yes you can

It was just 1 night right-he said yeah that’s it
He told me everything that happened. Ok- I said ok

cats bday tommorow
He called to let me know he loved me
cheer up he said and i said
Maybe later--

Love u. I said love you too

[CHANDLERS WISH]

My my my...

He's the thing. This guy is "AWESOME", you get that?

He refrains from his frustration.
He tells you everything, from A - Z regardless.
He loves you undoubtably
He knows regardless of what he says doesn't say to that woman, your still going to go on about it but he accepts you for who you are.
He is patient.
He has compassion.

GET YOUR SHIRT TOGETHER GIRL - lol.. He walked down an isle to avoid, it's obvious he has a good heart, look at how he treats you, it's his nature, so he isn't going to ignore anyone.

He loves you, it doesn't matter, you need to CHILL, LET IT GO once and for all...

Seems your not prepared to, and you'll lose him and that's sad, because he's one heck of a catch sweet.

Don't waste your breathe, thoughts, on stu pid things... This man is a ONE WOMAN MAN, end of story...

Just love him to death, as he does you ...

End of story.

[maz33]

For the love of God...Give me strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[miffed23]

For the love of God...Give me strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAA!!

[blonde3737]

huh

For the love of God...Give me strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why do you say that??? just wondering

[blonde3737]

what is so funny ladies

For the love of God...Give me strength!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAA!!

i feel out of the loop. If your laughing at how i feel, please don't. I have an issue with the situation im in and its nice to receive advice.. ya know

[blonde3737]

hey

Hey chandler, i really appreciate your advice even though i sound ridiculous at times, its nice to come on here and here what other women have to say. You said at the beginning "hes the thing" whats that mean lol and also...he walked down an isle to avoid, is that a good thing, or would i rather have him not worry about saying anything to her. they had conversation that day like i said above but now that he works there, i feel like she will stalk the out of him. Should i tell him to even though im insecure for no reason that i would l ike him to tell me if she talks or has more conversation???

Remember when i first talked about the issue on page 1, why do you think she wanted to transfer where he was going for work???

I think that woman is obsessed or was. she said i love you to his friend about him, ...etc etc ...

i need to trust him and i know that. he is quite the guy and i just have such a ridiculously hard time because i worry about it since she lives next to the store he works at now...

thanks for patient chandler, i really appreciate it

My my my...

He's the thing. This guy is "AWESOME", you get that?

He refrains from his frustration.
He tells you everything, from A - Z regardless.
He loves you undoubtably
He knows regardless of what he says doesn't say to that woman, your still going to go on about it but he accepts you for who you are.
He is patient.
He has compassion.

GET YOUR SHIRT TOGETHER GIRL - lol.. He walked down an isle to avoid, it's obvious he has a good heart, look at how he treats you, it's his nature, so he isn't going to ignore anyone.

He loves you, it doesn't matter, you need to CHILL, LET IT GO once and for all...

Seems your not prepared to, and you'll lose him and that's sad, because he's one heck of a catch sweet.

Don't waste your breathe, thoughts, on stu pid things... This man is a ONE WOMAN MAN, end of story...

Just love him to death, as he does you ...

End of story.