[WildChild]

Sigh. It isn't just some women that don't want it very often.

[lost_in_TO]

With my wife?
She's perfectly happy with once every other month, if then; I, OTOH, am not.
And even when she does "consent," most times I get the feeling it is, as another poster put it, a "pity (euphemism for sex act)" and this just annoys me, makes me feel like I'm with a prostitute and I should leave money on the nightstand.
She tells me that she doesn't really have any "desire" but that "once we get started it's OK."
Wow, what enthusiasm, eh?

She sounds like my wife Tex. That has been my sex life for the least year. My wife just left me a week ago because "she is not in love with me anymore".

Get help now before it's too late. I got the "I just have a low sex drive" speech for almost a year and stopped pressuring her. Now I find out that she was not having sex with me because she doesn't feel any "passion" for me anymore.

I would look for a couples therapist and wine her and dine her. If you want to save it, you are both going to have to work on it before it's too late.

[sourpuss]

The husband and I have been together for 5 years...first couple years together it was at least 2x a day and up till last week seems like 3 times a week. Im thinking its because we always had to use a condom and always scared of pregnancy by dripping or breaking condom. Really put us on edge but now that I have the IUD, we have sex everyday so it might escalate again to 5-6 times a week . He says I have no idea what hes going to do to me now or what I am in for. haha

But yes, no matter how tired he is...he still wants it. If he is tired, he wants me on top so he can be lazy but still get the pleasure, but never passes it up.

Hope you 2 can talk and work something out

Man! My boyfriend needs to take a lesson from your husband.

[WildChild]

LOL maybe we need to set up horny workshops for both genders?

[sourpuss]

Indeed!

[WildChild]

Or perhaps more useful: Getting Horny Workshops

[sourpuss]

Or perhaps more useful: Getting Horny Workshops

I know! The thing I don't like about it is that it's turned in to a weird power thing in the relationship. I feel like I'm always throwing myself at him and we only have sex when he wants to. Of course, I don't want to have sex with someone that doesn't want me, or vice-versa. But I don't want to be in a relationship that's physically and emotionally one-sided. I think it's heading that way and it's hard on your self-esteem.

[rcoreyus]

If a couple has very different levels of desire for sex it can become a way of wielding power. The one with the lower sex drive can use it to (indirectly) bribe / threaten the other.

Unfortunately the various suggestions for counselling often don't work well because the person with the lower drive doesn't think there is a problem - and they are the ones with the power .

[sourpuss]

If a couple has very different levels of desire for sex it can become a way of wielding power. The one with the lower sex drive can use it to (indirectly) bribe / threaten the other.

Unfortunately the various suggestions for counselling often don't work well because the person with the lower drive doesn't think there is a problem - and they are the ones with the power .

Ugh! You hit the nail on the head. In my situation, I don't think he's actually using it as a power thing, I know he's not. But the situation makes you feel like that's what's going on.
I've been on the other end as well, not being interested at all. So I know how both parties feel.

[pretzel]

Ugh! You hit the nail on the head. In my situation, I don't think he's actually using it as a power thing, I know he's not. But the situation makes you feel like that's what's going on.
I've been on the other end as well, not being interested at all. So I know how both parties feel.

Power=control.

It's also a defense mechanism (at least in my case) where she use those to defend any type of affection.

You then have to make a choice.

That's when your life turns upside down.