[caterpillar79]

I think women just respond to men's cues. We are generally emotional beings and we respond to what touches the heart, while men respond to what stimulates their vision. If a woman feels neglected emotionally, she won't be able to reciprocate nor initiate sexually. What do you think, ladies?

[blondie80]

Cat, you just said perfectly what i was trying to say! Well done as well when men look at women visually they can see the same woman two different ways and she is always going to look more attractive if she is happy and a little confident at least. So I guess it probably goes in a cycle as most things do.

[Guest]

OTYA do you see a flaw in what has been written between the two statements? They intertwine alot! Women seem to give up sex as men seem to give up on romance so really it has nothing too much to do with getting married or sealing the deal. Granted some people do do this, this is also a personality flaw not a generalisation on women or just men. At the start of a relationship a man buys a woman flowers takes her out on dates and then when he has her that stops a woman wonders where her romance and love and compassion has gone and there for doesn't want sex because she doesn't feel close.
This doesn't happen with all relationships, and yes some women give sex to seal the deal to have a relationship and then it dies off, but some men also do the same with romantic gestures.

Seems as though we agree.

[Guest]

Hey now OTYA, that isn't fair...my dh has not seen it go down..well, okay, I'll clarify...once during our 20 years together for about a year. I had a procedure done...it atrophied my one of my ovaries and partially atrophied the other. I visited 5 different specialists and they couldn't fix it. I finally got some help from my family physician of all doctors and things went back up again. We are in our 40's and I'll bet we could give people half our age a run for their money...so as I stated...that isn't fair.

Ugh, i'm sorry....just to clarify, my lady friend, I wasn't calling anyone out...simply playing devil's advocate. No need to explain yourself to me.

Perhaps strong wording...but the point was valid.

I'll never understand why presenting the EXACT opposite view of something someone posted to display personality, rather than gender flaws is viewed as unfair.

Fact is...many PEOPLE will act differently during the onset of a relationship. Only to revert to their actual selves once they become comfortable.

[Loveshoes]

Fair enough. I completely understand your point. And I never understand why it is that people don't behave as themselves. They have to know that its bound to blow up when the person you're with finds out you aren't who you appeared to be at all. My dh started out opening the car door for me, okay, well any door for that matter. To this day, he still does that. Many of the things he used to do he still does. I love that about him. I get the distinct feeling that OTYA, you may very well be that type of person as well.

No harm intended...and I didn't want that to sound like I was blowing up at you. I didn't take any offense to that, just wanted to point out that there are some that don't. If the guy is willing to put in time to make that emotional connection to the lady and keep it that way, she is much more apt to stay focused on him and his needs as well.

Thank you OTYA...always a gentlemen and easy to get along with. **Smooches**

[caterpillar79]

Reverting to the REAL self...that is an interesting point, OTYA. So let's get to business...Generally, based on honest observations - who gets to revert first: the man or the woman?

[Guest]

Reverting to the REAL self...that is an interesting point, OTYA. So let's get to business...Generally, based on honest observations - who gets to revert first: the man or the woman?

Really? Now what positive discussion could come from that query?

[caterpillar79]

Well, we all have to admit that once we are in a relationship, sooner or later, we'll get more comfy and so, will let our guard down, and be more ourselves. I am trying to figure though whether more women are doing it first, or the opposite. C'mon, OTYA...I know you're the devil's advocate. It's OK.

[Guest]

Well, we all have to admit that once we are in a relationship, sooner or later, we'll get more comfy and so, will let our guard down, and be more ourselves.

I beg to differ.

I hold myself to the same, if not higher standard now that I'm in a committed relationship.

Instead of just owing my appearance and conduct to myself, I owe it to someone very derserving of my best.

[caterpillar79]

I beg to differ.

You can beg. lol

I hold myself to the same, if not higher standard now that I'm in a committed relationship.

Instead of just owing my appearance and conduct to myself, I owe it to someone very derserving of my best.

I agree on that. We should always strive to be the best that our significant other deserves. I think, once we are in a relationship, we should not "settle". "Settle" - in the context of stagnating in terms of personal growth.

I would love for us to keep growing individually, in order to bring something to share to the table - something to nourish and strengthen our bond. Aren't relationships supposed to be this way?