[Guest]

you should do whatever you need to in order to be calm & non-judgmental, then explain to him that you found the porn and that it's not acceptable for you.

ask him about it, tell him you're not judging him, but that it's not something you can tolerate in the marriage.

see where it goes from there. encourage honesty - you have to make doing the right thing (opening up & sharing his heart with you) the easy thing to do.

what would you do if you moved into a brand new home & found a few bugs? not a huge deal, right - though very disappointing. exterminate.

let it go & you could end up with a pretty big problem down the road.

are you prepared for the possibility that there may be a problem already? that he might have a hard time letting it go?

[the dude]

yer make him give up porn, so then when he gets bored looking at you he will find another woman to have sex with.

i think the only reason you are so upset by porn is because you hate the fact he finds another woman sexually attractve and it has dented your ego. well you can not control another humans mind, you can not stop them finding other women attractive.

i know you will not like this, however the truth hurts, get over it.

[Guest]

yer make him give up porn, so then when he gets bored looking at you he will find another woman to have sex with.

i think the only reason you are so upset by porn is because you hate the fact he finds another woman sexually attractve and it has dented your ego. well you can not control another humans mind, you can not stop them finding other women attractive.

i know you will not like this, however the truth hurts, get over it.

yer make him give up porn, so then when he gets bored looking at you he will find another woman to have sex with.

might be true. the world is full of weak men who base their sole reason for staying/leaving on the way a woman looks. a relationship with a guy like that is worthless.

i think the only reason you are so upset by porn is because you hate the fact he finds another woman sexually attractve and it has dented your ego.

you're a little bit right here. she shouldn't hate the fact that he finds another woman attractive. that's a normal, unavoidable function of the mind.

she should, however, hate the fact that he takes it a step further & indulges his attraction.

along those lines...

well you can not control another humans mind, you can not stop them finding other women attractive.

of course not. but, thankfully, humans DO have the ability to control their actions. many people just choose not to control themselves - and then can't take responsibility for making that choice.

i know you will not like this, however the truth hurts, get over it.

great advice. right from the mouth of a twelve year old.

anything to keep from having to exersise a little self-discipline.

buffoon.

[Gia]

Porn Addicted Husbands Are Creeps and Perverts!

Dear lonely wife,

I too was a lonely wife and I have been through what all of you wives have been through. His porn addiction became so bad that his lust for the porno women and not me lowered my self esteem and my self value to absolutely nothing! I joined a support group with women in the same situation. At least 95% of these women now cheat on their husbands with other men. (We all concluded that porn is the same a cheating) and since my husband cut me off from sex for over two years (he was busy masturbating to porn), I decided to cheat. I do not believe in masturbation with a plastic vibrator. I prefer a real penis.

With all of the Sexually transmitted diseases around, I will not have sex with a man unless he wears a condom, I will not have sex with a man who is married because I do not want to cause hurt to innocent wives, children. I do not want to cause a love triangle scenario and most important, the men I have sex with must be at least my age or older, thus they must show me their drivers license in conjunction with a recent negative HIV and Herpes test. As far as the cheating, I felt very guilty, ****ty, ashamed etc...for a long time, Now I feel beautiful, fulfilled emotionally and sexually.

I am a very attractive professional college graduate woman in my 30's and my husband and I have two teenage daughters. They caught their father watching porn. Now they "hate him" and will not have a thing to do with him. Cheating is not the answer to everything. One has to be emotionally ready to be capable of handling this(you actually have to train and re-direct your brain to "think like a man"). Cheating helps me redirect my thinking process thus I am now emotionless to men. I was faithful sexually, emotionally etc..to my husband for our entire marriage and I found out that he had been using porn the entire marriage even on our honeymoon! I have caught him in lies many times and I realized that he probably had extra marital affairs. Why should I be denied of sex, romance, passion, etc..Besides it is a common fact that "MEN DO NOT WANT TO BE MARRIED" unless there is something in it for them, such as needing a wife to have kids with, needing a wife to feed their ego, needing a wife to take care of them when they are ill, needing a wife to cook, clean, take care of kids etc....Since this is the case, then I rest my case, "Men are indeed needy!"

Here is how I cheat: When I catch my husband masturbating to porn, I work out at my local health club. I like to swim, and ride the bike, I pamper myself and indulge in the hot tub and a nice shower with lovely perfumes. I have a bag packed with a sexy dress, lingerie, perfumes, I usually have 3 guys I can phone while working out and usually one is always available. We meet for dinner, movie or dancing, then we usually go to the guys house (I don't do hotels because there is a good chance the guy is married) and I will not be with a married man.

Depending how we both feel, we usually have great romance, passion, sex, great conversation etc..If one or both of us are tired and we don't have sex, the romantic experience and the great conversation suits me just fine. "Sex is just icing on the cake". I feel great and emotionally stable after the guy tells me I look pretty and sexy etc.. I come home and I am evasive when my husband "asks me where I went" I do not lie, I just give him the same UN communicating silent treatment he gives me, I just do not respond and I walk away. As a result of everything that has transpired, I filed for divorce. Now after the fact, my husband realized that he hurt and destroyed the marriage and he wants me back and he promises he will never use porn again. (I am wondering if he is just saying this because he is sick with heart problems. I refuse to be his care giver as I have been for years) I on the other hand I am a changed woman and I will start my life all over again with my daughters. I do not want my husband back, I am a changed woman and "The damage is already done" and there is no turning back!

P.S. Porn addicted husbands are pathological liars. They will tell their wives that they will never use Porno again, just to pacify their wives, then they use it again and again (this is abusive! to the wives!) The Psychologists and Couples therapists are Just as Bad! They are in it for the money only! They know that Porno addicted men can and will never recover yet they continue to Pseudo treat them! These men LOVE the Porno women and not their own wives. They constantly compare their wives (the women they are supposed to love, honor and cherish) to the Porno women. So wives, rather than wasting your money on couples therapy, focus on yourselves, your children and your life, not his! Finish that college degree, work out at the health club, visit Europe, Just don't make your husband your focal point. (In my situation, I enjoy having sex with other men, this works for me, I am still young and attractive!)

Just remember, there is a fine line between "Porno addicted husbands and Pedophiles, Rapists etc.. These men are "perverted creeps!" and are one step away from being arrested and in Jail. Women, do you really need this in your lives? No, I do not think so! Do you really want to lose everything due to legal fees: your house, cars, retirement plans, your children,self esteem over these loser men! These are the type of men that "pick up vulnerable and impressionable teenagers on My Space"and then get arrested for being sexual preditors via the T.V.program, "Perverted Justice"!

[the dude]

first of all i do not believe what you have written, if you are telling the truth then you are a very petty person, and i would not touch you with a barge pole.

if you did not like the fact your husband watched porn why did'nt you divorce him straight away? instead you cheated on him, oh and looking at porn is not cheating you just did'nt like the fact your husband looked at other women, sorry but all men look, do you think that the men you were porking only had eyes for you?

with your mind set you will end up alone for sure, and it will serve you right.

[Gia]

yer make him give up porn, so then when he gets bored looking at you he will find another woman to have sex with.

i think the only reason you are so upset by porn is because you hate the fact he finds another woman sexually attractve and it has dented your ego. well you can not control another humans mind, you can not stop them finding other women attractive.

i know you will not like this, however the truth hurts, get over it.

Read my "thread" My husbands Porn usage caused him to "not want sex (nor verbal communication )with me" for over two years! I would wait in bed wearing sexy lingerie. He would come to bed after just "masturbating to Porn" in the bathroom. He had no energy for sex with me! I lost all respect, and trust for him. Our daughters "caught him Jacking off to Porn. They hate him now. I now see other men who I have sex with. I have redirected myself to think like a man. I no longer trust men nor want anything with them (only sex). I filed for divorce. My children nor myself want NO contact with him. We will be starting our lives all over moving 3000 miles to another state. Furthermore, don't waist precious time and money with marriage counselors. YOU WILL waste a great deal of time and money. The psychologists are in it for the "money" because they "pseudo" treat these porn addicted men knowing that "these men are similar to pediphyles and rapists" and will never change. Don't waste money on psychologists, the porn addiction is not your problem (it is his, although the psychologists make it out to be the wives problem thus playing mind games directed towards the wife intimitating her and making her eren feel worse!) I contacted our state's DEPT. of Professional Regulation and I filed a formal grievance to force our psychologist in court to "reimburse me" for all monies for therapy (regarding HIS Porn addiction) My argument in court was that our psychologist, like many, tried to treat Porno addiction, (the recovery rate is less than 1%.) I was treated like "mice and rats" in one of their Freudian laboratory experiments! This is considered to be MAL Practice. I will be getting the thousands of dollars I spent out of pocket! I will take my children on a long and well deserved vacation! after what my soon to be EX-husband put our entire family through! Like many Porn addicted husbands, He is a perverted creep!

[Lovie]

I have no idea how I passed this one. My goodness. It's old, too.

Since when did having a driver's license and a GPA of 4.0 mean I'm an adult? For your info, I have both and I still wouldn't consider myself grown. I do my schoolwork and I don't spend as much time on the computer as you think. I know it feels weird being talked down by someone's who's younger than you, but it happens.

Posting comments like the one I made previously doesn't make me feel like an adult one bit. I have no desire to feel older than I am. I quite like the way I am right now. Just because I shared my opinion doesn't automatically make me unintelligent. I do know a few things here and there. It might and might not be more than you know, but then again I'm not here to get judged by you. I give and receive advice. Porn happens to be one of the things I'm, unfortunately, very familiar with.

Also, at the time you posted that school hadn't started yet, your you telling me to concentrate on my schoolwork was invalid. Plus, you derailed the topic trying to put me in a line just for the mere fact that I'm younger than you and most likely have a bigger mouth.

Listen, I give advice on certain situations that I feel. At the time, I felt like typing what was on my mind and I did. Now, that I look back at it I probably wouldn't have added the "woe is me" part, but the rest of it would sound somewhat decent.

Now, since you don't dictate what happens at this forum you have no business telling me whether or not my account should be terminated. If you feel that way you can easily tell every other member of the forum that is under 18 the exact same thing.

Please, don't think age is a hinderance in all occasions because it certainly is not.

You have a blessed night and guard yourself when on the internet, okay?

What in the world could a 16 or 17 year old CHILD have to offer to a group of group of GROWN MEN & WOMEN about marital issues? And even more importantly, why would a young lady your age even want to be involved in a discussion like this anyway?????

I know that you might be curious and I can understand that, but I think that it is very unfortunate that you are not even 18 years old yet and you already have such a hard heart when it comes right and wrong. You sound so jaded and your attitude is so vile and disgusting for a girl your age. It?s down right pitiful??and I?m not just talking about you. I?m talking about ?youth? in general. I know that you think that you can ?hang with the big dogs?, but you have no earthly idea how much more living you have to do before you can become qualified to participate in this discussion - regardless of how much you THINK you know. Some of these people have been married longer than you?ve been alive and you think you can give advice to them? Please?.

You have no idea what it?s like to be a GROWN WOMAN who is working her fingers to the bone to be a good wife, and good mother and a good employee at work ?.burning the candle at both ends ?..and then have to deal with a husband who thanks you for it by looking at another woman on the internet. One day, if you ever become enough of a lady to ever get married, you might just change your tune and not have such a cavalier attitude about this subject. When or if you ever get married, you?re going to find out how much work it?s going to be to be a wife and a mother?and you?re going to expect to be cherished and appreciated and honored by your husband . And God forbid, if you find out that while you are doing everything that you can to be a good wife and mother , he?s in some back room enjoying another women on the TV screen - you?re going to think back to how you mocked the people on this website and you?ll be sorry.

Porn has no value whatsoever in society. It is TRASH, plain & simple and a good marriage has no need for it. One day I hope that you meet a man that feels the same way so that you won?t have to make excuses for him. In the mean time, you need to diligently find a positive female role-model for your life. One who can teach you that women have value and that wives deserve to be honored.

If you want to keep posting messages on this issue, that?s fine. But just keep in mind that you?re only going to be 16/17 once. You?ll be an adult with adult issues soon enough. If you were smart, you?d enjoy this precious time of your life because when it?s over it?s over.

[gia66]

porn

because they are sex deprvied and bored

[the dude]

i see this post has attracted alot of psychos.

i did not know their were so many ignorant people untill i came here.

some women actually have real problems like their man really cheats on them, or beats them black and blue on a daily basis, and you are complaining because sometimes he likes to watch porn.

you sould be ashamed of yourselves, and by the way women look at men too, why do you think acts like the chippendales are so popular?

plus plenty of women masterbate and enjoy porn does that make them rapists and child abusers too, some of you people are a joke.

[the dude]

and to the women who complain that they get no sex, because of porn, GET A DIVORCE problem solved.