[Stillness]

Aqemini, first, is your name supposed to be like "Even the sun goes down. Heroes eventually die. Horoscopes often lie."?

If your point is what rcoreyus says, then I do agree. It sounded more like you were saying that monogamous coupling lends itself to cheating because it gets stale.

[Aqemini1977]

The bond and desire for your mate 10 years in should be deeper and stronger than they were on day 1. The joy you feel should be greater. If they aren't, then one or both people are failing or something has gone wrong.

You're mistaken.

Agree with you on all points. Deeper bond and strong desire to please and build something greater together is what happens when you are in a loving relationship. However, when strictly speaking from a carnal desire and sexual urge standpoint, the exhilarating thrill one experiences with a sexual mate is highest when the relationship is in its new or beginning stage. That is my point.

[Aqemini1977]

Aqemini, first, is your name supposed to be like "Even the sun goes down. Heroes eventually die. Horoscopes often lie."?

If your point is what rcoreyus says, then I do agree. It sounded more like you were saying that monogamous coupling lends itself to cheating because it gets stale.

Name (although spelled differently) is homage to an album by one of my favorite groups. So yes, you quoted a piece of the first verse.

I am not saying monogamous coupling lends itself to cheating. Being a human being lends itself to cheating. Humans are wired to please themselves. As we mature and grow in society, we learn pleasure has boundaries. There are rights and wrongs along with acceptable and unacceptable behavior. We learn to adapt our physical passions to conform to acceptable societal behavior. When you come to a certain point of maturity, one begins to question what society has taught with regards to boundaries. It feels as thought we are in a Relationship Renaissance. The boundaries of acceptable behavior is moving away from Judeo-Christian beliefs and more towards a naturalistic way of defining and categorizing our behavior.

[atskitty2]

I can agree with that as well. And since this thread is specifically about why women cheat, your point can also go hand in hand, i think, with the women's movement, and how women are more assertive and aggressive to pursue their own pleasure. The social pressures for a woman to be loyal to her man, regardless of her happiness, just don't exist in the way they once did, 50-60 years ago.

[Claret]

Name (although spelled differently) is homage to an album by one of my favorite groups. So yes, you quoted a piece of the first verse.

I am not saying monogamous coupling lends itself to cheating. Being a human being lends itself to cheating. Humans are wired to please themselves. As we mature and grow in society, we learn pleasure has boundaries. There are rights and wrongs along with acceptable and unacceptable behavior. We learn to adapt our physical passions to conform to acceptable societal behavior. When you come to a certain point of maturity, one begins to question what society has taught with regards to boundaries. It feels as thought we are in a Relationship Renaissance. The boundaries of acceptable behavior is moving away from Judeo-Christian beliefs and more towards a naturalistic way of defining and categorizing our behavior.

I tend to agree with this as well with the caveat - I think once we mature and IF we question what society has taught, then we may decide for ourselves what we will accept as truism and what we will not accept. That places us in a time or place to make a decision solely based on our choice.

I'd also like to just say in response to the question Ever Wondered Why Women Cheat? (add and Men as well), - Why - sometimes just because they can. No other reason or motive.

[Something_Awesome]

Does anyone else find being loyal to their partner sexy? I am turned on by the thought of being comitted and dedicated. I will disclose though that I am a Capricorn and loyalty is a big thing for us.

[atskitty2]

Yes, Something it is very sexy. But after 10-20 yrs, if you're a person who gets bored generally, in other ways, sex and the day to day mundane life can become boring and more efforts must be made to keep it fresh & exciting.

Nothing wrong with that, it's just different people with different needs. I don't know if that need to keep things fresh, not being met, increases the likelihood that a person would look outside their relationship or not, but it seems to me that it would.
Generally, I think cheating is less about sex than we make it to be.

[Baboy]

There's a certain attractiveness to Awesome's suggestion about loyalty being sexy. If you think loyalty equates with monotony and missing out on other of life's pleasures, that is likely to become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Perhaps I am fortunate in a way that few others share, but I find myself in respectful dissent from Aqemini's view that "the exhilarating thrill one experiences with a sexual mate is highest when the relationship is in its new or beginning stage". That depressing bit of lore suggests that a concomitant of a long-term monogamous relationship will be a long, slow decline into sexual ennui.

My wife and I have been together for well over a decade. I find our sex life every bit as exhilarating today as when the relationship was still under warranty (I think ours was for 3 years or 300 acts of intercourse, whichever comes first - we were probably off warranty by the end of Year 1).

Our relationship now is, if anything, more exciting that in the early stages. Today we know each other better and how better to please one another. There is no nervousness, shyness, wondering about measuring up, etc. While I cannot speak for my wife, her interest in no way seems to have dwindled.

A few hours ago we were hugging and kissing in the kitchen preparing breakfast together and we made a pact that we would continue what we started without clothing later today. When I say we made a pact, it was not so much spoken as understood, due to that kind of telepathy that develops in long-term relationships between 2 people who know each other well and care about what the other is thinking. We still do that sort of thing regularly (i.e. set the stage for later) and the anticipation has lost none of its lustre through the years. Sometimes we can't wait and we just end up having a good time sexually without delay. If no one is around, that could be just about anywhere. Right now, I am enjoying the feeling of excitement about what is to come. I cannot imagine an affair being so sweet.

Perhaps a latin motto for our relationship would be: Ut incepit corneolus, sic permanet.

[Patti-here]

Let me butt in here for a minute...


After reading this thread it only makes me happy that I'm not married, and I live with a woman..

Carry on

[Something_Awesome]

Wow, really good contributions atskitty and baboy. You know what though, I do feel like my GF and I love eachother more every day. My desire to propose to her increases more and more every day. Originally, I wanted to wait for her to get her Masters Degree as I think it is super important and I do not want the prospect of marriage to be a distraction...

I am getting impatient and I am seriously considering just proposing this summer. But part of my desire to propose may be feuled by the fact that I finally came up with what I think is a great way to pop the question!

Patti, you woukd never get married? To a man or a woman? You get bored easy or what?