[CHANDLERS WISH]

i dont know a realationship thats completely honest from the start ever hear of the saying if you want to know me come live with me. yes she had pictures of a man an ex who doesnt just because you get married doesnt mean your life before stops she moved over packed all her stuff i dont think she said right better go through everything in case it upsets you she was exicted and moved found the pits and then you saw them and freaked out and she only e mailed him she has moved from a different country nows noone bar you why did you get so distant and why did you come on the same site as she is on to say all this. Your the one who has trust issues she married you not him she is still with you not him. I think you would have got a better response if you hadnt said she was on this site did the person you spoke to tell you to do this have a wager.
Its obvious she knows how you feel why not talk to her now and maybe a bit more understanding to her .

Keep reading past that thread that you gathered this reply from, and you will get a bit more of an in-sight..

Sometimes we can read into things, until explained and Mr Ed has done that a bit futher along after a very long post from me.

CW

[Mr. ED]

I also sent a message to lostinlife. I took your advise and visited the 'Lounge'. Never mind the games. I'm in the process of answering thread #14 in "Undatable women". I don't like people that 'generalize' lables on the opposite sex no matter how bad the relationship was. I must confess, it's very easy to do and years ago I felt that all women were DIRT! (I was a little younger then.)

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I also sent a message to lostinlife. I took your advise and visited the 'Lounge'. Never mind the games. I'm in the process of answering thread #14 in "Undatable women". I don't like people that 'generalize' lables on the opposite sex no matter how bad the relationship was. I must confess, it's very easy to do and years ago I felt that all women were DIRT! (I was a little younger then.)

lostinlife has achieved 10 fold whoo hoo should read her thread.

Mmm... see that you speak nicely or me have to edit you ED.

And, um glad you've seen the way. WE ARE NOT DIRT... letter missing.

[Mr. ED]

I always speak nicely.............most of the time!!!

[lostinlife]

i read it all ....

well i reread everything mr ed and i think cw has got this one, and i wish you the best your a love story waiting to be wriiten...... and who said love was easy who i really want to know lol,
ok do you need 33 posts before you can send a message?

[WildChild]

This has been an interesting read. My first reaction was that you and your wife may be in serious relationship trouble but since she is aware of all this dialog and perhaps has had some input, I'd rethink that. The question is what do you do now? This isn't infidelity, it sounds more like curiosity and as you implied at one point, if you hadn't seen the email, you don't know where it might have lead. She may not know either. But the statement that the two you had become distant might provide some insight as to why she was looking around a bit. We ladies don't just like, we need, to hear over and over from the special man in our lives that we are cherished and desirable. Just wanting sex isn't enough (personally I could do with all I can get but most women want a lot more romance) we need lots of hugs and kisses that aren't seeking sex. We also need to be able to talk and know you men are listening. Believe it or not just listening, not judging, not trying to "fix" us, just listening can do more for a woman than almost anything else. Your wife is in some ways like an orphan here, she dealing with a different culture, language, expectations and without the extended family and people and place she grew up with so she needs even more from you to emotionally support her. You sound like a pretty decent guy, I had a cross cultural relationship and they can have some real challenges, so please keep those lines of communication open!

[Mr. ED]

well i reread everything mr ed and i think cw has got this one, and i wish you the best your a love story waiting to be wriiten...... and who said love was easy who i really want to know lol,
ok do you need 33 posts before you can send a message?

Thank you for the reply. Yes, CW dissected the story and put it in a better chronological context.

About the 33 posts before you can send a message, I don't know but CW should know and that's what she say's.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

This has been an interesting read. My first reaction was that you and your wife may be in serious relationship trouble but since she is aware of all this dialog and perhaps has had some input, I'd rethink that. The question is what do you do now? This isn't infidelity, it sounds more like curiosity and as you implied at one point, if you hadn't seen the email, you don't know where it might have lead. She may not know either. But the statement that the two you had become distant might provide some insight as to why she was looking around a bit. We ladies don't just like, we need, to hear over and over from the special man in our lives that we are cherished and desirable. Just wanting sex isn't enough (personally I could do with all I can get but most women want a lot more romance) we need lots of hugs and kisses that aren't seeking sex. We also need to be able to talk and know you men are listening. Believe it or not just listening, not judging, not trying to "fix" us, just listening can do more for a woman than almost anything else. Your wife is in some ways like an orphan here, she dealing with a different culture, language, expectations and without the extended family and people and place she grew up with so she needs even more from you to emotionally support her. You sound like a pretty decent guy, I had a cross cultural relationship and they can have some real challenges, so please keep those lines of communication open!

I think you said some added things there WildChild that was very interesting in itself...

We do in-deed need emotional stimulation not just sexual stimulation or passion that is only leading simply to sex, rather done for the reasons of just wanting to with nothing at the end of it.

Also different culture, off course a foreign place is one thing but I didn't look at that, a different nationality amongst possibly no other Russians?

Is there a Russian Club where you live Mr Ed, somewhere she can meet Russians and speak with them as well ..

Hahaha she won't leave you for one, honest.

CW

[Mr. ED]

WildChild:
Sounds like you've been there and back. Thank you for a great reply.

[Mr. ED]

CW:
WildChild also scored some good points. There are no Russian clubs that I know of, but she writes to a Russian woman over in Phoenix, AZ. and is in constant touch by email and phone calls to her people back home. I visualized how hard it would be before she came over here. The first year was the toughest!