[CHANDLERS WISH]

Have fun with your Dad, Cassie, he's your Dad.....

Enjoy the time and forget about the whoes for now, ok...

Talk soon.

CW

[cassie66]

morning
we had a meal with dad and he came back here for little bit and then him took him home. it was in good mood for once he at work so no idea what he will be like when he gets baCK

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Who cares? Toughen up, remember your on a mission.

Cassie, you keep walking on egg shells, that is only for those that don't know how to get out of a situation, or don't want to.

Let's clarify this, you want to right? You are not happy in this relationship and you want out correct?

Seems to me you are spending your time worried about what mood IT is in, (your words haha) than how to continue along the path of solving.

Forget, what mood he will be in, let that part go, knowing you are stronger than that, you did it to your first husband, you can do it again.

People want to know what you have been doing to help get out of the situation, so, even walking in the sun, to get away from him, or sleeping on the couch to ensure you don't have him poking that thing at you showing you, to create his continual control of what you used to do, used to cry about, used to want.

It's not about what it was when you first started this thread is it, it's now about, how you dislike him coming home and how you feel about that, and how you walk on egg shells...

We all want sex, haha, seriously, naturally but you've moved from that picture, so your doing real good with saving without him knowing, getting mail that he can't read waiting for a payout ever so small compared to what you put in, but a help..

Have you worked out how much you need to move?

Have you worked out what assistance you will be given when that time comes?

Have you checked out the rentals in your area and how much you need per month?

Have you worked out removalist costs, for when that day comes?

It's time to add to your plans love.

CW

[cassie66]

i cannot drive so therefore cannot hire a van removals i no are expensive from previoous times i ahve moved. rental vary dpeneding on the house of house and where it is yes i have checked all this out. with 3 kids i cant have a shoe box and it has to be in catchment area of school all rentals need a bond/deposit/months money up front. this palce wanted £1,550 no i dnt have enough i need my return on this place too no one will let me move in without a job maybe obly ifi sign on unemplyment benefts but i dnt want to live of the state and waiitng list for council home is years regardless of kids
its not as easy as you think without job/money i cant get anything
yes of course i want out
i worry what mood he in as i dnt need him shouting at me or second guessing what im planning he mustnt have a clue until i tell him

[CHANDLERS WISH]

aweee... no he must not....

I am only saying for others who read sweet.

And, because i care, and want to make sure you ready for the move when the time comes..

I know it's hard, it's hard for me, it's hard for everyone....

But the main thing i think your thinking of is your kids, good for you, but as a result, it's got to be somewhere where they can still do their schooling, we will work on that.

The main thing is "stop" walking on egg shells he is an IT, remember, "in your words" not your husband, he can say what he wants ,ask what he wants but he "CAN'T GET YOU" or to you anymore, this is important that you see that.

The person lied, over and over, and got you... Now he doesn't deserve you, sleep on that lounge, buy a quilt sweetheart, and work towards your future and know we are there... I know this is hard for you.

CW

[cassie66]

thanks
i get so upset and scared sometimes. i AM doing my best i swear i cant get a quilt until he gets paid he we have to go to town friday to sort out bills and his shares he got so once he gives me his wages dont think it be much i can go into town alone following week to look for quilts
had a letter today from rental agent said we due for an inspection and can i ring them up to arrange a convient time. now thats making me nervous, inspections always do house is clean and in good condition even so i worry.

[WildChild]

Cassie
I bet if you started checking the notice boards where you've posted about dog walking, you would find there are men who own what we call pick up trucks here in the US, who are wanting to make some extra money and are offering to do odd jobs such as local moves. You would have to do your own packing, it would take several trips but should be a lot less. Another option would be to hire some men, have them rent a van and move. Here we have places like UHaul that rent trailer and vans for people to move themselves, it usually saves a lot of money.

Are a member of a church or any organizations where you might find some trustworthy people to help you? I think we all know this will take time but CW is right the biggest thing you have to change is in your attitude. He only has as much power over you as you give him. Stick with your plan, don't lose heart! I'm sure the inspection will go fine - just don't go signing another lease! Work on the employment issue, starting your own business (dog walking or animal care) and stay strong! You can own your own life.

[cassie66]

thanks im not a member of anything. there are van hire companies noemally self drive though lots of add about everything on supermarkets notice boards
he in bed he tired and grouchy
inspections always make me nervous even more so now as my daughter just infromed me rental agent knows about cats. we can have any pet aprt from cat and dogs im passionate about cats cant live without them. if i hide all cats then i l be ok
i am trying and looking for work

[CHANDLERS WISH]

WC just said something you may not have considered... Join a Church, start going each Sunday.

Reason? You will make friends, real friends, ones that care that you will need one day, or may need one day. You will also get advice from them on what to do as they are local and will have local knowledge.

What do you have to lose?

Well even if they know about the cats, the Landlord doesn't want you to have pets obviously, so you have had inspections before i assume, do what you did the other times, let the cats stay outside and just move their bowls away, a cat can sleep on the front of someone's yard, lawn etc, and live next door... Don't stress over that love.

CW

[cassie66]

thanks cw yeah last time i just moved all the bowls etc the it will put them in the car anywhere the house at the end has a huge dog
theres the church where we got married they hold several clubs all weeks doors always open ive never considered myself a religious person though the landlord i know is happy with small animals cos i asked him

your right i do need freinds