[Hopeless Dork]

Oh yes I'm fine with porn on days I don't come over.. So I'd be fine with porn if I ever turned him down or if he had needs beyond mine.

Some days I could just bend over around him casually and boom he's at attention and ready to go. On days he had time with porn befor me... I could freekin give him a lap dance in my panties , masturbate for him and he's unmoved.
And it would break my heart to go from day to day wondering if he was going to choose porn or me. Because it always came down to that.

Only after he realized the effect it was having on me, only after he understood that he totally rocks my world no matter if he's in the mood for something quick or something epic with forplay and all that.

To me I really don't care. I come so easily and get off on pleasing him and now that he knows this and can see more clearly how good it is when he is dependent on me for pleasure, how fullfilling that is for he has put the porn in the background.

I do flare up on these posts with the memories of how low I felt when porn was such an interference. But the way things are with us now have never been better.

[newhere808]

Some do, over insecurities, fear of performance, or other reasons.

Your right, some do, and I don't deny that, but I highly doubt it's the norm in a stable relationship, and as such regarding all men who view porn as if they are like those men that do, is a foolish generalization, as it would be to assume that all women who use sex toys do so because they prefer it, very close minded.

Again, it depends. Let's say you live with your SO and you have sex once a week, even if you want more. You have to go away for a week and you find that your SO has been watching porn every day during your absence. Wouldn't you think that something is wrong in this case?

Of course it depends, and the situation your laying out here is the flip side of my example, I wouldn't blame anyone for being offended if put in this spot. The thing that irritates me is that several of the comments here against porn condemn and insult all men who view it, simply cause there are some that fit your example. The problem is the generalization, should hundreds of thousands of women worldwide be branded as uncontrolled animals in heat cause they swoon at Vin Diesels voice or some metro flavor of the month flashing his abs? Of course not, that would be freakin rediculous. Theres tons of visual material out there that draws womens attention away from their male counterparts as well, are they all in the wrong? There needs to be a line of mutual understanding.

[Mitchel1870]

I have stated this in a previous post.

If you chose porn over a willing female, you have a problem.
If your SO is willing and you chose her over porn, you do not have a problem.

How ever if your needs are not being met by SO, then porn (or device) may be a nesscity to cope.

I'd rather have a willing female any day however there isn't any around in my relationship.

[stressed]

Your right, some do, and I don't deny that, but I highly doubt it's the norm in a stable relationship, and as such regarding all men who view porn as if they are like those men that do, is a foolish generalization, as it would be to assume that all women who use sex toys do so because they prefer it, very close minded.

No, it's not the norm in a stable relationship at all and this is what leads many women here to post against it. To also generalize that "all men do it regardless of their sex lives" or that "all women who are against it are overreacting" is equally close minded.

Of course it depends, and the situation your laying out here is the flip side of my example, I wouldn't blame anyone for being offended if put in this spot. The thing that irritates me is that several of the comments here against porn condemn and insult all men who view it, simply cause there are some that fit your example. The problem is the generalization, should hundreds of thousands of women worldwide be branded as uncontrolled animals in heat cause they swoon at Vin Diesels voice or some metro flavor of the month flashing his abs? Of course not, that would be freakin rediculous. Theres tons of visual material out there that draws womens attention away from their male counterparts as well, are they all in the wrong? There needs to be a line of mutual understanding.

I agree with you, there are many cases where porn is the only solution, it's enjoyable by both in the relationship and so on.

But I'm like HD, when I read posts where men try to "prove" it's alright (even when I know it's alright in many cases) I remember how bad it has been for me when porn was around my relationship. Also, some times posters tend to post an extreme point of view (i.e. "I hate/love porn no matter how my relationship is") just to see reactions and arguments for/against this view which would help put their own thoughts in place.

[newhere808]

No, it's not the norm in a stable relationship at all and this is what leads many women here to post against it. To also generalize that "all men do it regardless of their sex lives" or that "all women who are against it are overreacting" is equally close minded.

I agree, but to be fair i've never claimed either of those points

I agree with you, there are many cases where porn is the only solution, it's enjoyable by both in the relationship and so on.

But I'm like HD, when I read posts where men try to "prove" it's alright (even when I know it's alright in many cases) I remember how bad it has been for me when porn was around my relationship. Also, some times posters tend to post an extreme point of view (i.e. "I hate/love porn no matter how my relationship is") just to see reactions and arguments for/against this view which would help put their own thoughts in place.

I honestly don't blame you, or HD, a past experience typically lends itself to a bias of some sort, tha'ts nothing new. But that predisposition shouldn't lead to certain condemning comments towards all men that watch porn, any more than my past experiences should cause me to treat all women like habitual liars

[stressed]

I agree, but to be fair i've never claimed either of those points

Nope, you haven't

I honestly don't blame you, or HD, a past experience typically lends itself to a bias of some sort, tha'ts nothing new. But that predisposition shouldn't lead to certain condemning comments towards all men that watch porn, any more than my past experiences should cause me to treat all women like habitual liars

I don't think we've been condemning porn viewers. We just tend to naturally take a stand 'against' it, in a way of speaking, by trying to show many women here that if it feels wrong then something is wrong and they have to solve the actual relationship problem first. There are reasons that make women turn against it and they can be solved in some cases. As in, if I'm a woman suffering by my SO's porn habits I'd like to read in this forum that there's nothing wrong about me and that I have to find exactly why it bothers me, instead of reading about how "normal" it is. There are so many women in this forum with the same problem I wish I could help.

[Guest]

I don't think we've been condemning porn viewers.

lol. Have you been reading your posts?

Mockery/disdain/pity/anger/bitterness are all among the mix of emotions you all are applying to porn and men who watch it. (but curiously enough not to women who watch)

We just tend to naturally take a stand 'against' it, in a way of speaking, by trying to show many women here that if it feels wrong then something is wrong and they have to solve the actual relationship problem first.

There are reasons that make women turn against it and they can be solved in some cases. As in, if I'm a woman suffering by my SO's porn habits I'd like to read in this forum that there's nothing wrong about me and that I have to find exactly why it bothers me, instead of reading about how "normal" it is. There are so many women in this forum with the same problem I wish I could help.

Bluntly - this issue has more to do with your respective significant others' than it does with porn.

It's like a person hurting someone with a gun. Who is the perpetrator....the gun or the person? I'd say the person.

It's like a crusade against something simply because YOUR significant other's can't handle it or dont' want to handle it.

Just like alcohol, gambling, drugs or whatever other vices there are out there. Some people can handle them and some people can't.

It isn't our job to rally against something and brand it unacceptable just because we don't like it or because someone we know abuses it. That only works to take away the freedoms of those that CAN handle their indulgences.

[Hopeless Dork]

Bluntly - this issue has more to do with your respective significant others' than it does with porn.

That is something both me AND stressed have said over and over. Porn isn't the villian, the villian in these particular cases is selfishness.

You call the women who have issues with their SO overindulging in porn and having no energy for them afterwards bitter.

Dildo's are not the devil any more than porn is. Its how they are used when in a committed relationship that can obviously make or break the sex life of the couple.

Some men have a bitter taste in their mouth about dildo's because of their own personal life experience of being with women who desensitized themselves to them, or from thinking that most of the young women they know utalize these devises.

Porn in certain circumstances has left a bitter taste in the mouth of a lot of women because of their personal life experience of having been hurt or made to feel rejected in favor of porn.

That is the human experience. You touch a hot stove, it burns your hand... you are inclined to think stove hot, don't touch. But no, the stove isn't always hot, it won't always burn your hand. Over time you learn to look for the signs as to whether or not its hot before touching. Its all apart of living and learning.

[Guest]

That is something both me AND stressed have said over and over. Porn isn't the villian, the villian in these particular cases is selfishness. .

So why the tirades against porn and the overall disapproval of men who watch it? Seems energy would be better spent mulling ones options in regard to the selfish men who continue to dull themselves and the relationships they could be having with their appreciative significant others.

You call the women who have issues with their SO overindulging in porn and having no energy for them afterwards bitter.

No because that is not bitterness. That is justified frustration.

Dildo's are not the devil any more than porn is. Its how they are used when in a committed relationship that can obviously make or break the sex life of the couple.

Agreed.

Some men have a bitter taste in their mouth about dildo's because of their own personal life experience of being with women who desensitized themselves to them, or from thinking that most of the young women they know utalize these devises.

Some do, and I feel for those poor guys.

And I also feel for those poor women who cannot realize why the introduction of sex toys into a tilted discussion of porn and men would be relevant.

That is the human experience. You touch a hot stove, it burns your hand... you are inclined to think stove hot, don't touch. But no, the stove isn't always hot, it won't always burn your hand. Over time you learn to look for the signs as to whether or not its hot before touching. Its all apart of living and learning.

It's a poor human experience to tirelessly hate/discourage/mock things simply cause we don't like them.

It also makes for a poor human experience when we advocate porn for one sex, but not for the other. Simply because one sex seems to take more offense to it.

It also makes for a poor human experience to discourage masturbation aids for our significant others, when we see nothing wrong in using masturbation aids ourselves.

[Hopeless Dork]

It also makes for a poor human experience to discourage masturbation aids for our significant others, when we see nothing wrong in using masturbation aids ourselves.

Me personally, I don't use masturbation aids. Do I masturbate? Yep. I have a VERY VERY high sex drive. I could orgasm 10 times a day if I had the time. All it does is make me want my boyfriend even MORE...

I don't use vibrators. I am not desensitized. When he touches my leg I am wet and ready to go. I orgasm within a couple minutes or less of any direct stimulation he gives me.

I have NO problems with him masturbating and using porn if he has ENERGY TO SPARE... my only problem with it has been the fact that if he uses said aid, that means I don't get intimacy with him that day. And while I am perfectly fine with him requiring less action than my body is capable of I had a problem with him using up what could have been spent on my wants and needs to be close to him.

Frustration VS Bitterness? Really? Pot, kettle.. blah blah. My tirade has always been men that turn inwardly and close themselves off from intimacy when they have a partner that wants them. I feel the exact same way when women do this to men, which is... a lot more common in these forums.

We have so many men that come in and say their so just doesn't want sex anymore. But I've yet to hear many if any that come in and say their wife has a healthy interest in porn but no interest in sex with them.

Women DO watch porn. But most guys don't seem to really care about that. At least none that voice their concerns here. So obviously they aren't making it a problem in the relationship.

The women that have come in supporting their man's use of porn also seem to throw in how they get plenty of sex from their SO and are satisfied. Or that they don't like sex and prefer their SO use porn then try to have sex with them.

The women that come to this forum and are mad about their SO watching porn, but say they don't want to have sex with them -- I have posted my opinions on that. And how in the world they expect their man to get by... or that they can't force them to be asexual simply because they are. And that its not fair to expect a man to be celebate AND married.

The women that come to this forum and say they LOVE sex... love pleasing their SO and he is too 'tired' to oblige them, yet still has energy for porn.. that is where I sympathise... that is where I say, girl, I hear you. Been there, done that, know how it feels.

How is that not frustration? How is that any more bitter than the anti dildo in relationship tirades?