[Guest]

He said MOST not all... and from everything I've ever seen written by a man on this forum is porn has played a role in their sex life, whether or not it ALWAYS has or Still does, or doesn't anymore is what varies.

I do think that the guys in their late 20's and younger... have grown up with a pc in the home, have had an access to instant visual stimulation in a way that has never been as readily available, in such quantity, variety and in such a simple way... ever.

We as a society are now seeing the effects of what growing up, developing a sexuality in the age of instant visual fantasy fullfillment on relationships.

Some of the older men here may remember a time when they had to put a little more effort into getting their porn fix. It does not always turn into an addiction and some people never go searching for more extreme version of porn...

But when men are become so bored with seeing women naked, that its no longer stimulating and now they have to seem them naked on a skewer smothered in bbq sauce with a corncob rammed up their rear to get any sensation in their trousers -- how in the world they can then turn that side of their sexuality into a loving, sexually healthy relationship , well... jury is still out.

Right.

And women grow up with faucets, water jets, personal massagers and the like, yet are they branded addicts for exploring their sexuality?

And similarly, when women become so numbed by their sex toys that a man's touch is no longer stimulating, and now they can't even orgasm with a man- and that situation is blamed on the man...well i guess the jury is also out on how they can turn that into a loving, sexually healthy relationship, too.

Addicts - these are people with life altering problems, not people who enjoy things we don't like or don't agree with.

[Hopeless Dork]

I can't wrap my head around how you don't see the difference between exploring your sexuality by turning into yourself... and exploring your sexuality by turning outword to 500 million different women to discover it.

One is exploring sensations. The other is exploring this inherent desire to need to see every freeking woman on the planet naked.

More women have problems experiencing sexual pleasure... FACT. Gosh how many guys do you know that say: I can't masturbate, I can't make myself feel good, whats an orgasm? I can't seem to figure it out? I rub and I stroke and nothing? Oh I am sure there are exceptions as there is with everything...

But its by and large women that have sex with an open heart knowing the odds of having an orgasm from the experience were below 50/50 or less. If guys had the same odds when they had sex...

The fact that a women would turn to finding means of feeling a sensation between her legs is a good thing, not a bad thing. And can actually HELP her relationship, there is a reason those things were called 'marital aids'.

I don't disagree that a man can't recreate the exact sensations of a vibrator, so using them too often is not going to help have better sex with an s.o. however... for an s.o. that doesn't even know what an orgasm feels like.. learning how to have one from a vibrator, having some idea of what kind of what the end result feels like, build up feels like, she's working towards during sex probably goes a long way.

Please tell me how porn could work to the benefit of a relationship? How looking at ANOTHER girl... to masturbate to.. can in anyway bring a couple closer together. If you can give me anything besides ... women use dildo's men use porn, same thing because I say it is... I will forever shut up with my sweeping generalizations about men and porn

[Fallen1]

I agree with you HD for the most part ................

However, the one difference I have is why can't the woman find herself with the help of her S/O? Wouldn't that be more beneficial that using a toy? That way they both learn together what it is she needs.

[Guest]

I can't wrap my head around some of the completely unscientific statements that are made and perpetuated.

Do you honestly think that MOST men are porn ADDICTS?

What you are doing is branding men addicts for engaging in the same acts that females engage in.

However, you are adding in some fallacy that states since women are less likely to explore their sexuality, it makes it okay for them to do whatever they like.

Fact - women have testosterone levels on average TEN TIMES LESS than their male counterparts. Seems scientific they would be less inclined to explore their sexuality.

You're trying to level a playing field...that isn't, or never will be level. Because that's not the way God or whoever else you believe in made us.

How could porn help a relationship? We all agree that people respond differently to different stimulu. Heck we just had a female poster who said that porn is the ONLY thing that helps her. I'll find and post the link....but you know it because you replied in it.

[Hopeless Dork]

I agree with you HD for the most part ................

However, the one difference I have is why can't the woman find herself with the help of her S/O? Wouldn't that be more beneficial that using a toy? That way they both learn together what it is she needs.

I don't disagree with that... too bad there seems to be an overabundance of women in relationships with men don't find female orgasm all that important enough to try to help them figure it out.

[Fallen1]

I don't disagree with that... too bad there seems to be an overabundance of women in relationships with men don't find female orgasm all that important enough to try to help them figure it out.

Oh I agree with you there. Unfortunately I've been in a couple of those myself.

[Hopeless Dork]

What is so unscientific about the bazillion surveys that indicate many women don't orgasm from sex and many women have never experienced an orgasm in their life? Do they even make studies about guys have never had an orgasm during sex? Never had an orgasm in their life? If so I've yet to hear of them.

I'm not saying because women have a harder time reaching orgasm in many cases than men do that they get to do whateverrrr they want.

I personally think women's over use of dildos and mens over use of porn are TWO seperate issues. One not better than the other. TWO seperate issues. You blend them together EVERY, SINGLE, TIME.

When a man is using pictures of random women to arrouse himself and masturbate to.. it can make a woman feel not good enough... then that man goes out into the world and she worries he may fall for someone else that makes his penis get off the couch more than it obviously does for her.

Do guys seriously worry about being left for a dildo? Do they really lock themselves in the bathroom and cry thinking ... they are going to get left for a power x super wang?

[Guest]

.
Do you honestly think that MOST men are porn ADDICTS?

That's all I'm questioning and all I want to know. Because that and that alone is what I called an overzealous and ridiculous generalization.

And yes, I am going to liken porn use to sex toy use every time the issue is brought up. I'm not sure how you are ever going to dream of differentiating the two in terms of their ill effects on a relationship, but you are certainly allowed to try.

[Hopeless Dork]

lol

I don't think that any guys that looks at porn is an addict. I do think that every guys that looks at porn on a regular basis while in a relationship is a selfish jerk, providing he has someone that is all but begging for his sexual attention. I would apply that to a woman that is using a vibe on a regular basis while in a relationship as well, providing she is with someone that cares about her orgasm.

Do I realize porn has been around since the dawn of time? Yep. Do I think that the availabilty and extreme variety that is available since al gore invented the internets () is having and will continue to have a negetive impact on relationships? Yep.

If some men have to turn to more and more intense porn, or more and more varied porn because its gotten so common that it bores them... how in the world are they going to be satisfied with the same woman in their bed every night? If looking at 100 different naked women a week isn't enough to arouse them if they get bored with that... how in the world can their penis remain responsive to one real life woman?

A guy can have a magazine with 30 different women depicted and after having it on the spank rotation for a few weeks its time for a new magazine... those women are stale, at least thats the message I derrive from it.

HOWEVER... how often does a woman switch up a reliable dildo? If she has one that makes her come cosistantly its not like she is at the store the next day looking for the bigger better dildo, not typically.

So even women that are selfish are monogomous in that selfishness... How many vibrator users have to have a different vibe every nite?

But that comes down to those basic differences between men and women. Yes there are women that like variety and cheat to obtain that - and yes there are men that prefer to be monogomous and have no interest in sampling all 21 flavors...

But all the women I know, when they find a guy that makes them feel good they hold on to them for dear life and aren't interested in doing the hit and miss of finding another good lover.

Where as many of the guys I've had in my life, whether friends boyfriends or ex boyfriends... could be in a sexually satisfying relationship and still be hoping to consume more vaginas like they are lays pototo chips.

Maybe its because men tend to orgasm even during bad sex, so even bad sex is better than no sex... where its the opposite for a lot of women.

I am so insanely faithful. Really. Maybe thats the problem. I am emotionally, mentally and physically faithful, my fantasies and even my dreams that are not in my control... are faithful. I adore my boyfriend and give him the upmost respect... and when he's googled other womens body parts in the past -- its made feel , at the heart of it, that he must not feel like I do if he can do that.

Then I talk to other men who say thats just what men do, its not that they don't love you, its not that they don't find you attractive they just want to see it all and it makes me sick to my stomach. Bleah.

[Millania]

HD says it again -man she is good
I get so tired of hearing that all men do it too
I know there are a few good men left out there that do not watch porn to get off, there has to be?
I am considering seperation after over 10 years of being with my lover
I cant take him watching porn 2-3 times a week feeding me the: every guy does it get over it line
I just cant take it anymore
If you are in a great and healthy relationship then porn should not be necessary
SO obviously my relationship is not healthy nor great