[ItsASecret]

Just because you two would not do this (and fair play to you) doesn't mean there's something wrong with someone else because they would. Because the world doesn't move to the beat of just one drum!

No it does not mean there is something wrong but due to beating to a 'different drum' I am entitled to think very lowly of those who want to, in my opinion again, throw away what little dignity they have to satisfy their material wants. I personally have a bigger problem with people doing it to party their young adult ss off, compared to those who have no other options to pay for the bills or family.

[Lizzy girl]

yes O. i have told him. this is actually one of the reasons why our relationship ended. Not the only reason. but One of them. he says im just insecure. and that he wont stop liking it. he sees nothing wrong and if it makes him want to have sex more often then whats so wrong with that? made me even more sad. but like i said he "says he doesnt any more" but of course deletion and in private browsing will never tell huh? i just wish it didnt bother me. i wanted to tell him i dont care and he can wacth it like 2 days ago. but when i thought about it and how it was b4 i just got sick nervous and sad. so i didnt. i just dont like the idea of an attached man watching other women being naked engaging in sex acts when they have a woman they say they love and is attractive to them. what is teh point of being with someone if you want porn? just stay single

[newhere808]

... but that doesn't give men a reason to buy what these kind of women sell. If men know that it's such women who do this then why do they fall for it? Are they naive and used by those women or do they actually like this? I think the latter...

You ever buy chocolate? Liquor? Cute, designer underwear? Ever see a movie cause a certain male actor was in it? Ever pay a guy more attention cause he was cute? Ever read a fantasy novel?

If you've done any of these, then you understand exacly (though subconsciously) what porn is to most men. Much like confectionaries, they wouldn't exist without a customer base, but the customer base wouldn't exist without them, they are things that are unnecessary but pleasurable for some.

To answer your question, no guys aren't having their arms twisted into buying porn, not typically anyway. Just like women aren't arm twisted into buying sex toys, or fantasizing about that cute guy from wherever.

Ocularone,

Not to pick a fight, but please read my post before throwing out a comparison for something like child pornagraphy. I specifically said LEGAL, and I put that in there for a reason. Your comment is way off base compared to what I posted.

Stressed,

As mentioned above, i'm speaking in terms of the regulated, legal porn industry. Whether you personally view pornstars and prostitutes as the same thing is irrelevant to the legality of either activity. In the professional pornstar industry (US) you cannot be forced into to job, you get for the job, and you have a choice. Prostitution is more often than not an entirely different animal, and the comparison is thin in my opinion.

[Lizzy girl]

I can only wonder how the future will be .. and how i dont think its going to get better. ya kow my guy thinks prostitution should be legal. what do all of you think? he says it will lessen rates of rape. lessen pros. getting killed and stds. if they can control it puta price on it and you use protection? HOW uuumm f word up huh? lets just let a house be built for people to go have sex legally and get paid for it?.... i think cheating will go up and so will divorce he thinks its a good idea

[stressed]

No it does not mean there is something wrong but due to beating to a 'different drum' I am entitled to think very lowly of those who want to, in my opinion again, throw away what little dignity they have to satisfy their material wants. I personally have a bigger problem with people doing it to party their young adult ss off, compared to those who have no other options to pay for the bills or family.

I agree with this post.

You ever buy chocolate? Liquor? Cute, designer underwear? Ever see a movie cause a certain male actor was in it? Ever pay a guy more attention cause he was cute? Ever read a fantasy novel?

None of these activities involve me reaching an orgasm by myself and not wanting to include my partner. If he'd ask me "can I have some? can I read it too?" I would never say "no, because it's private and just for my own pleasure". As for the "paying attention to a guy": there's a very slight difference between looking at a guy for 2 seconds, and drooling over two people of low self-worth standards to ejaculate while the SO is out.

To answer your question, no guys aren't having their arms twisted into buying porn, not typically anyway. Just like women aren't arm twisted into buying sex toys, or fantasizing about that cute guy from wherever.

Well, clearly, men don't need to buy it today: it's quite free and widely available.

As mentioned above, i'm speaking in terms of the regulated, legal porn industry. Whether you personally view pornstars and prostitutes as the same thing is irrelevant to the legality of either activity. In the professional pornstar industry (US) you cannot be forced into to job, you get for the job, and you have a choice. Prostitution is more often than not an entirely different animal, and the comparison is thin in my opinion.

Prostitution is legal in certain European countries (and other countries all over the world). Porn stars get paid to have sex with strangers - Prostitutes get paid to have sex with strangers. I am not talking about women forced into prostitution, I thought that was pretty much obvious.

[ocularone]

newhere, after looking back at your post i noticed the legal part in which i didn't notice before. i gracefully withdraw my comment about that

[newhere808]

None of these activities involve me reaching an orgasm by myself and not wanting to include my partner. If he'd ask me "can I have some? can I read it too?" I would never say "no, because it's private and just for my own pleasure". As for the "paying attention to a guy": there's a very slight difference between looking at a guy for 2 seconds, and drooling over two people of low self-worth standards to ejaculate while the SO is out.

Spoken as if you feel all men view porn for the same reason. Porn is nothing more than a guitly pleasure for most, not all men masturbate to it believe it or not, for many it's another form of escapism.

I want to be clear, and i've said this in many other threads of a simlar theme, if a guy is viewing porn instead of being with his SO, he needs to have his head checked. Now if an guy is viewing porn when he's horny and his SO is otherwise unnavailable for whatever reason, why burn him for it? Would you rather him demand sex and debase you in that fashion whenever he wants it? He has an 'itch' he scratches. Just like some women have those tiny little vibes that they can (and do, for those that own them) use when the urge hits, are they always thinking about their SO when their pleasuring themselves. I guess my grand overall point is that you and I can really only speak for ourselves in this matter, condemning all men for watching porn, in my opinion is as foolish as a guy treating all women as frigid control freaks based on a prior bad experience, but again, I can only speak for myself.

Well, clearly, men don't need to buy it today: it's quite free and widely available.

Your side-stepping the point I was getting at, yes it's choice, but it's choice proliferated by availability. If porn wasn't around do you really think a horny guy/girl wouldn't get off to something in their own imagination? Does that make it better to you?

Prostitution is legal in certain European countries (and other countries all over the world). Porn stars get paid to have sex with strangers - Prostitutes get paid to have sex with strangers. I am not talking about women forced into prostitution, I thought that was pretty much obvious.

Your very right, it is. But if your talking about legal prostitutes that have made the choice to be such, then you are actually supporting my arguement. If they didn't make that choice, there would be no legal prostitutes would there?

I understand that porn can hurt peoples feelings, I personally rarely ever view it, and when I do, I get off on the scenario, not the actors, but i'm not everyone. If porn does hurt your feelings then it's something that needs to be worked out with your partner, and hopefully you guys can see eye to eye on it. Regardless, not all men who view porn are debased, uncontrollable perverts with no standards simply because you are offended by porn.

[newhere808]

newhere, after looking back at your post i noticed the legal part in which i didn't notice before. i gracefully withdraw my comment about that

No sweat, just wanted to make sure that wasn't in question

[FeministBen]

Just to address one specific point, legalising prostitution does not solve the problem of rape. Men don't rape because they can't get laid - they rape because they like to rape people. It gets them off more than regular sex. Just like people don't abuse children because they can't have sex with adults, they do it because they want to and enjoy doing so.

So that part is a fallacy. Tbh, I don't see the problem with legalising prostitution. It WOULD solve problems of abusive pimps, women getting sold or forced into it, there could be compulsory tests in place to prevent and treat STIs and the like. Concerns about the morality of the whole affair aside, it would help the existing condition of a lot of women.

[Mes T]

Okay well back to the original topic-ish, ocularone, I friggin' love you...

I think my current boyfriend has no interest in porn. He's said as much and I have no reason to believe he isn't being truthful.

My feeling is this: Most women are NOT okay with their men viewing porn and have to FORCE themselves to change their attitudes about it in order to keep the peace in their relationship.

I've done this with my ex. I've had to sit there, and rationalize that porn is okay, I've had to read message board topics like these to TRY to put my mind at rest...

But what's wrong with me accepting the fact that I am NOT okay with porn? I'm not okay with it, and I don't WANT to be okay with it, ever!

And coming to terms with that pretty much takes a load off my shoulders. I am NOT okay with it, and you know what? That's fine. I shouldn't have to put all this effort into trying to understand something I instinctively don't like, and I hate excuses such as "men are visual."

Women are visual, too. Woman fantasize when they masturbate. And I'll take the fantasies about my BF in my head over a loser, STI-infested naked porn man any day. Why do men have to think so differently?

Bottom line is this: I think that so many women out there, whether they admit it or not, are on some level HURT by their men watching porn, and I feel like men have pretty much teamed up and chant "oh it's so common though!" as a way to demean or downright ignore their women's feelings.

Oh and "it's in our nature"... HA! I love that.

We are MODERN HUMAN BEINGS, people. We're not flee-ridden apes running loose in the wild.

Christ.