[Fallen1]

Similarly, it seems like women who don't use sex toys are so few and far between, and the whole attitude that women need machines, and not men to satisfy them is really troublesome.

I can't help but feel like it's oppressive to men.

Maybe men not using machines as much as women do has something to do with men still going through the process of awakening their sexuality. I dunno.

All devil's talk aside, I completely agree with your last statement.

I really wish more women would stand up for their feelings as well. I'm also tired of them being hurt because they choose to settle.

Maybe I'm just naive but somehow I don't believe that there are near the number of women that have toys compared to the number of men who watch porn.

I think it's been said before by one of the ladies here - there is a difference between an inanimate object such as a dildo or vibrator and an actual human being - but I do see the point you are trying to make.

[SinisterUrge]

I just feel like when you see a video of a 19 year old chick getting urinated on, you can watch without guilt feeling like oh yeah she must love pee, she must love her paycheck... whatever makes you feel better about yourself.

And if it was a woman urinating on a 19 year old boy?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Here's a thought.. Men can pretty much pay for sex, women pretty much stay away until they find someone.

Men masturbate and so do women.

Maybe, women use toys as a substitute when not in a relationship.

Some men still watch porn when in a relationship and knowingly upsetting their partner.

I unfortunately have to make my own judgement call and mine is that sex toys are out of the window when in a relationship. I don't understand why a substitute is needed, I get that women will state it enhances but then are the two parties, adverturous, have no inhibitions, work on exciting each other with touches, and scenses?

I'll get crusified for saying that I know, but that's my opinion. When in a relationship, work on knowing each other's bodies inside out, likes and dislikes and how to create that wow factor between bodies...

I don't and have never owned a dildo nor would I, however, having said that, I have used " my imagination in other ways, when single extending past my body items, but not within a relationship, except for possibly the thought of that whipped cream, melted chocolate okay that's enough.

[Hopeless Dork]

What I dont' understand is that you talk as if women don't watch porn too.

Many women watch and enjoy porn with and without a man.... no I don't talk about that as that seems to not be a problem for guys. I've never read or heard a man say "my chick watches porn and I don't like it, it hurts me". While some guys may feel that way, there are exceptions to everything of course, it just doesn't seem to be a constant source of hurt for many men as threads on this very forum seem to show it is for women.

[rcoreyus]

I think porn gets more discussion here than any other topic, maybe more than EVERY other topic. Whatever side you are on, why is it so important? We have women being beaten, men forced / tricked into fatherhood, people of both genders with miserable sex lives, all variety of medical problems.

Maybe the cause is that there is a a basic difference in beliefs, that no one is going to change:

1. Watching porn does not directly cause harm and so is OK.

2. Having their partner watch porn causes people to be unhappy and is not OK.

It is a basic question that if some action causes no direct harm, but makes your partner unhappy, should they expect you to stop?

(I am of course not counting cases where there is direct harm or addition).

[newhere808]

Many women watch and enjoy porn with and without a man.... no I don't talk about that as that seems to not be a problem for guys. I've never read or heard a man say "my chick watches porn and I don't like it, it hurts me". While some guys may feel that way, there are exceptions to everything of course, it just doesn't seem to be a constant source of hurt for many men as threads on this very forum seem to show it is for women.

While it may not bother men in the same way it bothers women, that doesn't remove the fact that women watch porn, and they are not chastised for it the way men are, at least not by the opposite sex.

The only difference between the two scenarios is that one typically hurts a persons feelings, and the other doesn't, and my assumption is because at the end of the day the guy is content with the fact that his porn watching girl is still there with him and being with him, while it would seem that with quite a few women, that doesn't seem to be enough, or even th point.

I think that there are several merits to someone being upset that their SO is watching porn, I really do, but there are times where the hurt feelings seem to crop up for little reason, but i'm not a woman, so i'm not going to have the same disposition as one.

[Hopeless Dork]

That's my point rcoreyus, it sure seems like an issue for being such a 'non issue' doesn't it? Its obviously something that rips some womens guts or it wouldn't be brought up so often as a source of hurt and problems.

So instead of ppl saying its not a big deal, there are bigger deals why not look the fact its obviously a big deal to many.

[newhere808]

It is a basic question that if some action causes no direct harm, but makes your partner unhappy, should they expect you to stop?

I agree, this is the core of the issue, not whether or not porn should or shouldn't hurt someones feelings, but that if it does, should or shouldn't their partner care.

[Hopeless Dork]

I wouldn't do a thing that made my guy unhappy, even if it caused no harm...because the way I see it , if it makes him sad it IS causing harm.

I make sure he feels good about himself. I adore him. I'm not tooting my horn, I'm just a chick... But I've gotten hit on right in front of him and I turn to him and kiss him and keep my attention on him in those situations.

I masturbate to thoughts of him. I'd never cheat. I bend over backwards for him sexually and indulge him whenever wherever and often.

I put his needs above my own at all times. And yes, that is my choice - he never asked for that.

I give so much and I am so much and ask for so little.

I am a happy go lucky girl that finds the fun in a trip the grocery store.

The only thing that ever makes me sad is feeling like no matter what I do for him sexually, no matter how hard I work to give him a good body to play with... No matter how much I love him..

Some girl in a picture can give him visual stimulation enough to bring the same orgasm that I give him.

It hurts. Whether or not it should is debatable , the fact that it makes me sad..isn't.

[Texinator]

if it does, should or shouldn't their partner care.

That's probably the easiest question to answer out of the bunch. If porn does hurt someone's feelings, then yes, their partner should most definitely care.

Even though I've tried to explain in previous posts why very many men look at porn and what it does and does not mean to them, I also think that the attraction of porn is so insignificant that no man should have problems giving it up if his girlfriend or wife felt hurt by him watching porn.

Of course, if he can't or won't give it up, that's something else, but in those cases I don't think the porn itself is to blame.. it's just a symptom of a larger problem, whether it'd be that he'd rather get off by himself than have sex, that he's selfish in general, or that she's unresponsive and porn is the only 'action' he's getting.