[steph69]

Hi, I've been seeing a guy for four months and all is going well apart from the sex side; he Has a very small penis.

He tries hard to please me in other ways but the actual sex is not enjoyable, he can last quite a while but I am wanting it over and I feel sex is already becoming a chore.

The only other man I have been with since my divorce was a long time friend who was on the larger side and I miss that kind of sex.

I don't feel i can discuss this with him (he has never mentioned size) without appearing horribly shallow, and I can't talk to my female friends as his sister is really nice and is now part of my group of friends. Any advice really appreciated.

[Hopeless Dork]

He can't change his penis size. If you love him and want to stay with him, you are going to have to focus on the other aspects of your intimacy that make you feel good including and not including his penis. If you want to feel something bigger occasionally you can get a toy that he can play with you with. You don't have to say you want to use it because its bigger than him.

You can have him watch you pleasure yourself, or have him do it for you.

[steph69]

Thanks HD, I've had toys before (I was single for five years after divorce) but have never used them in a relationship, I feel that size shouldn't matter but its so bloody frustrating !

[ocularone]

i also agree with Hopeless. For me, in a loving relationship, sex is a bi-product of that relationship. Not the other way around.. What i am trying to say is that the relationship determines the sexual part..not the sex determining the relationship.If this is what you have (i realize four months isn't long) with him then you guys will work it out. It wouldn't seem shallow to me that it is sexually frustrating and not as enjoyable during sex for you. That is purely physiological, you can't help it... However, if you were to end a relationship with a good man that you otherwise would love to be with..that's where it may seem shallow in my opinion. make sense?

[steph69]

Yes I see your point Ocularone, I do really like him, maybe I'm being selfish but I do miss the type of sex I was able to have with my last lover and my husband before that, because of his size.

[ocularone]

I wouldn't go as far as saying you are being selfish. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are just trying to be honest about the way that you feel. Totally acceptable. Sex has been more enjoyable in the past with lovers who are larger in size. Your current partner isn't up to snuff (IN THAT DEPARTMENT) and it's leaving you less satisfied. That sounds perfectly understandable to me. I personally am an advocate for open, honest communication in a relationship. Even when the subject matter may be a little hard or awkward. If i were in your man's position i would hope my girlfriend would feel comfortable enough to help me understand that she needs more. Obviously with any guy it will sting when you come to the realization that the very essence of your manhood (how most guys think) isn't up to par. Even more so, the idea that you aren't satisfying your woman would stink too. It's a tough situation for both of you.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Four months is not long.

Imagine, that you leave this guy, find a new guy and he's of a proportion you like but in nature, everything you dis-like?

Maybe now's the time to teach yourself, G-Spot orgasms from him, with you on top

It's mindset unfortunately.

[steph69]

Four months is not long.

Imagine, that you leave this guy, find a new guy and he's of a proportion you like but in nature, everything you dis-like?

Maybe now's the time to teach yourself, G-Spot orgasms from him, with you on top

It's mindset unfortunately.

Yes, personality and a guys attitude is the most important thing to me. I've tried on top, him on top, me with my legs wrapped round, from the side, doggy, but the feeling for me isn't there and it's a big part of sex that I have to decide whether I can live without.

[rcoreyus]

I'll take the other side here. If penis size is important to you, that is your choice. Much better to leave the relationship before it goes too far, than to continue if you will be unhappy. If you are unhappy, he will be unhappy. Eventually you will find someone who better meets your needs, and he will find someone who appreciates his qualities.

[steph69]

I'll take the other side here. If penis size is important to you, that is your choice. Much better to leave the relationship before it goes too far, than to continue if you will be unhappy. If you are unhappy, he will be unhappy. Eventually you will find someone who better meets your needs, and he will find someone who appreciates his qualities.

Thanks, I wish it wasn't important to me, it's such a superficial thing but obviously everyones sexual responses are different and the sex is not what I like or have been able to enjoy before. But he is a lovely guy..