[WildChild]

My current boyfriend (a VAST improvement on the last one, a new aged gentlemen if there ever was one) told me recently that for him, it's not always pleasurable to masturbate, and sometimes he doesn't do it for an orgasm, but purely to rid himself of a nagging feeling he gets that is a need for the physical release of ejaculation, and afterward he is relieved of this feeling and can get on with whatever he was doing. Interesting, huh?

That is essentially what masterbation is for me most of the time. It's more about release than pleasure. Pleasure is connecting with and sharing sexually with a caring partner.

[waya]

Me, too

[singularity]

So gentlemen.... here you are, on a Womens Message Forum and you get to see ALL of the issues we deal with, and even our most private ones about sex. Commonly you see the posting from women about having an orgasmless sexual relationship. Actually it's SO common for women to be unable to orgasm through sex with their partners that the percentage is WAY up there (its been quoted here before, but I don't want to get it wrong...so I'll shush).

As we all know, it is way less common for a man to have this issue. Most men can reach orgasm with their hands, with a toy, with...well...anything. And we all also know that the release men feel and need is a result of ejaculation. So I ask you, to take yourself into another world for a moment. Close your eyes and truly imagine yourself in an orgasmless relationship...one where you can have sex, but that sex never leads to ejaculation? What does that do to your sex drive with your partner? What does that do to your sexual desire for your partner?

Tell us, what do you think this type of world would be like for you?

Well ejaculation has never been the be all and end all for me! It's not that great anyway and nothing like it sounds like it is for a lady. So I would far rather focus on giving her a orgasm via lots of touching and oral and as many as she can achieve. That's where the real fun of sex is. I think that most men seem to think that the focus of all sex for the woman as well as the man is HIS orgasm and that makes sex terribly dull and boring. Most men are incredibly selfish, it seems to me.

[Guest]

Butt what if it WAS important to you like it is to my SO ? No, it's not the be all to end all, butt it is a part of our physical intimacy that is missing (my being able to ejaculate on her cervix while simultaneously experiencing orgasms) and it is important to her/us. So now what?

I also find it ionteresting that many people use the term "orgasm" when they really mean "ejaculation". Ejaculation and Orgasm are two very different things and frequently happen without the other. We, men and women, have come to expect that ejaculation occurs every time a man reaches an orgasm...this is not the case!

I orgasm a lot when I am with my partner and she does too. It's the ejaculation that's missing.