[Unshaw]

But when you read the first post it implies that all men prefer to masturbate than rather have sex. I know that if my partner was willing as much as i am there would be no problem and i won't need pull myself.

There are some things that a computer screen, movie or wet dream does that a partner won't. For example wanting anal sex, watching your partner masturbate, outdoor sex, nudist beaches the list goes on. So does that mean when you put things like this on the table the partner is going to be willing to do it no questions asked.

Speaking to other men most of them came to the same conclusion everytime any of them have bought up something to spice things up they get 50 questions about it why, how can you fine that a turn on, that is disgusting, but if she want to try something they just go with the flow, do you know how belittleing that is.

Just wondering have any of you check out what your husbands or partner have been looking at on the computer, don't talk to them about it, just find out yourself. You might find they are too embarrassed to tell their partners of something they mite want to do or excites them and to scared to ask.

[ItsASecret]

There are some things that a computer screen, movie or wet dream does that a partner won't. For example wanting anal sex, watching your partner masturbate, outdoor sex, nudist beaches the list goes on. So does that mean when you put things like this on the table the partner is going to be willing to do it no questions asked.

And who is to say the girls on the screen are wanting to do that? They are wanting the money, they are told to shut up and do those things. What you see on screen is a girl wanting money and nothing more. That is why the internet is so alluring to guys, they can get what reality does not provide them.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

But then isn't that a partner/s who is not compatible? One who you can't communicate with?

And, if someone has a look on their partners computer, is that not snooping?

What is wrong with an alternative, a book or google something with a partner and laugh, talk, ewee or ok, I can do that, from having a discussion not about spicing things up, but on I wonder what else we can explore together that may be interesting, with an open mind...

The problem is, sensuality is important and is not to be mistook to be sex only... For a man to make a woman feel sensual, or a woman to be open and feel sensual, no inhibitions allows these things to enter, within the boundries agreed upon... Suggestions are just words. Viewing other naked women of what your partner has viewed, is not a sensual act.

[Unshaw]

And who is to say the girls on the screen are wanting to do that? They are wanting the money, they are told to shut up and do those things. What you see on screen is a girl wanting money and nothing more. That is why the internet is so alluring to guys, they can get what reality does not provide them.

I have read alot of information on this site, just because you don't do it does not mean someone hasn't done it or though of it E:G Look over this web site on anal sex, on how many women want advice on how to do it or how it feels. As for wanting money or wanting to do it, what about all of the amatuer sites who put there own movies on or someone who up loaded a stolen home movie.

The problem is, sensuality is important and is not to be mistook to be sex only... For a man to make a woman feel sensual, or a woman to be open and feel sensual, no inhibitions allows these things to enter, within the boundries agreed upon... Suggestions are just words. Viewing other naked women of what your partner has viewed, is not a sensual act.

So what is the difference between a women having a porn (erotic) dream (sex only) about someone they have met, and a man looking on the screen? You need to remember that men and women are wired differently women use their brains for stimulation a man use sight. Just because you think it is wrong doesn' mean it is. What do women do to make a man feel sensual no bloke i have talk to has had it done them it is all about the women? What are the boundries based upon the female partners POV most of the time. Where is this boundry written i though a relationship should be mutal thing and each person's point respected.

And, if someone has a look on their partners computer, is that not snooping?

I would have a guess that 90% of people on this web site have snooped or listened in on there partners, sibbling or childs phone,e-mail or used a PI to see what they are doing.

The way you two have written your comments, is what i expected, you have tried to make me feel bad because my POV.

How would you take it if i came up to you as your partner and said that i wanted a discussion for the both of us to go to a nudist beach/camp how would you approch it? Answer honestly

[scottyboy]

I have to admit to having masturbated at least once a day for twenty or more years. For me itr was a case of being in a lousy relationship. I was married for 24 years to my best friend, best friends are not normally in a sexual relationship. Fourteen years ago I met my current wife and we instantly clicked, after 9 months of getting to know each other we started our love affair with two simple kisses. I could never go back to my first wife after that. I have now been happily married for the past twelve years and I stress the word HAPPILY, my wife meets all my needs and except for masturbating with her while making love to her I have no urge for self pleasure. I am a firm believer in "true love", I've found it. I can discuss any sexual issue with my wife and she always keeps an open mind, I have the most incredible sex life in the world and anymore just do not have the urge to masturbate. I went from a relation that involved sex maybe once per month to a relationship where we enjoy sex twenty plus times a month. I think who you are with and how you relate to that person has a lot to do with masturbation, and for the record there is only one naked body in this world that turns me on and that is my wifes! Porn does not trip my trigger.

[ItsASecret]

As for wanting money or wanting to do it, what about all of the amatuer sites who put there own movies on or someone who up loaded a stolen home movie.

A stolen home movie? Really? A movie that the creators may have not wanted to leave the privacy of their own room is now on the internet and that is an example of why someone else should partake in the same activities that they do on camera? Stolen home movies are not an example, it is a crime. The normal porn you see is pure money grabbing, those edited girls could care less who is watching them they just want their drug or Gucci bag fix and they need the thousands of dollars a week for that. As for regular people who upload their movies they can get paid from some sites but most are just wanting their validation through attention. Those select people are the ones willing to do it they chose to agree that putting a video up is their 'thing', if someone chooses not to put their video up it clearly means they are not as open as that particular couple. Just because you see one open couple doing it does not mean someone else should be absolutely willing to do it in real life. There are a plethora of things certain people like and greatly dislike, pushing for something they dislike can create resentment if they make it clear it is not their thing. For me personally I have a lot of anxiety when things like bondage/tieing up/submission type things come up between my bf and I. I know he likes that stuff so I sucked it up and went through a night of tieing up and submission stuff, he loved it but I hated it but because he said he liked the stuff prior (and I know it was because he saw it in porn) I "had to try it". So I tried it, I honestly tried it even with my hesitation. Since then I have had instances when I am about to have an anxiety attack just thinking about the bondage/tieing up stuff again. Nothing horrible happened during that night but the fact that I did not like the idea of it to begin with was enough to cause an emotional response that I will now have a real hard time doing it again. That is not the way to go about things, it should be at least a partial curiosity by the hesitate person. Sure not everything is going to be a winning act, that is normal, but that initial curiosity should be somewhere there. And curiosity means "well maybe we could do that", not "oh my god yes that sounds fantastic omg yes". Just that slight itty bitty hint of "well maybe" can be the difference between yes and no. If it a clear "are you kidding? that is messed up" then the idea is clearly not something that should be pushed.

What do women do to make a man feel sensual no bloke i have talk to has had it done them it is all about the women?

Yeah because your 'blokes' are going to say "having her hold me in bed is the honestly a feeling I crave because it feels so nice to just be held like that". A lot of guys will jump around on the ground laughing saying "yo dog you so gay for wanting dat bro hahahahahaha". Even though that guy laughing may think the exact same thing about loving that cuddle from his gf at night or during sex. A lot of guys think there is no such thing as those emotions in men, they must be primal animals always in it to just bang hard and show that "they are wicked" and not have a soft side that admits that having that loving touch is such a nice thing to occur. However if that man talks to his wife he will say things like "I love that you hold me at night instead of me spooning you", or that backrub by her he may love, or the leg massage whatever it may be you know? He may not want to admit it to his bro's but to his wife he really enjoys it.

How would you take it if i came up to you as your partner and said that i wanted a discussion for the both of us to go to a nudist beach/camp how would you approch it? Answer honestly

I have had that question asked by my bf lol and my reply was "if it does not involve you starting ogling and drooling over naked teenagers (he has an obsession with the 18,19 year old porn models) then maybe if it was in an extremely secluded area and a very warm place". If the point of going to a beach such as that is anything sexual, because the point of those beaches is not to be sexual it is merely to be nude, then there is no point. I am not into watching people have sex or watch as my bf is ogling some teenage girl that he hopes suddenly breaks into a 10 person orgy because 'that is what he saw in porn once' then the possibility of such a trip is obsolete. I am an extremely shy person to begin with and I know that nude beaches are not a sexual place, they are there for the point of just letting out in the sun lol but if it has any mention that it should involve a sexual component because of something I know he has seen in a porno then the idea is complete gone and will never happen. You have to ask your questions carefully with certain people, if someone is shy like me you need to be even more careful. If you really want to do something like that then it needs to be worded like "on the beach like that you can be free in the warm sun, have the sun hit your skin all over", things like that which mention something other than sex...make it about how nice it would be to be without the bathing suit causing tan lines (that actually would be a reason for me to go lol). Just the little things to add to the idea that you are not making a search for a porn scene of seeing plenty naked people walking around, but the fact that it is just an experience of wanting to feel free out of clothes for once without getting into legal trouble.

[Lovcookie]

There is no comparison. Sex with a woman you care about is the winner hands down. First sex is more than just having your penis rubbed. The entire experience leading up to, the body to body contact, the kissing, caressing, exploring and everything that creates the passion. To me having my woman get off is most of the fun. I can tell you my hand is no match for a womens body and to be inside her. The article seems like it is describing men who have more issues about self confidence or just don't know how to relate to a woman in a sensual, sexual, romantic way. Maybe they are men who marriage have lost the passion and this is their only release? On the otherhand if they were the ones always doing all the work there is something seriously missing in the partnerships sexual communication and compatibility.
I'll take the real thing with a woman everytime.

[Unshaw]

Yeah because your 'blokes' are going to say "having her hold me in bed is the honestly a feeling I crave because it feels so nice to just be held like that". A lot of guys will jump around on the ground laughing saying "yo dog you so gay for wanting dat bro hahahahahaha". Even though that guy laughing may think the exact same thing about loving that cuddle from his gf at night or during sex. A lot of guys think there is no such thing as those emotions in men, they must be primal animals always in it to just bang hard and show that "they are wicked" and not have a soft side that admits that having that loving touch is such a nice thing to occur. However if that man talks to his wife he will say things like "I love that you hold me at night instead of me spooning you", or that backrub by her he may love, or the leg massage whatever it may be you know? He may not want to admit it to his bro's but to his wife he really enjoys it.

What are you on about, i said nothing about mates (bros) knowing anything. So what happens between you and your partner stays between you and your partner. The question i asked was "What do women do to make a man feel sensual, no bloke i have talk to has had it done them, it is all about the women?" and you never answered the question. Just like the comment above "To me having my woman get off is most of the fun" i should ask him after he has the same partner for 15+ years if he still feels the same way, as they get use to it, and want it done like that all the time. As i have some women put it "i trained him well i get everything" or " what is mine is mine and what is his is mine" .

I asked question randomly to some the guys i work with. Has their wife/partner give a massage for no reason at all? everyone of the said no. Then i asked have you ever given their wife/ partner a massage and not expected anything in return and all reply yes.

Everytime a women has been nice to me there has been a reason behind it. Weather it was buying a new mat for the dining room, to mowing the yard, to putting a scratch on the car, to baby sittng the kids they always suck up. Men are not angles either

"if it does not involve you starting ogling and drooling over naked teenagers

this is what i was talking about a the top

came to the same conclusion everytime any of them have bought up something to spice things up they get 50 questions about it why, how can you fine that a turn on, that is disgusting

you had to ask the not trust your BF question.

Also you never answered the question its a secert "So what is the difference between a women having a porn (erotic) dream (sex only) about someone they have met, and a man looking on the screen?"

[jns]

The question i asked was "What do women do to make a man feel sensual, no bloke i have talk to has had it done them, it is all about the women?" and you never answered the question.

Unshaw, seriously, you have never had a woman who pursued you in the relationship, who wanted sex every bit as much as you did? A woman who gave you oral because she wanted you to have excitement and fun? A woman who jumped on top to get you off? A woman who initiated kissing with a lot of tongue? I have had this.

[ItsASecret]

The question i asked was "What do women do to make a man feel sensual, no bloke i have talk to has had it done them, it is all about the women?" and you never answered the question.

I did answer. My answer was that men in general especially when asked by other men like their 'bros' will say that their woman does not get lovey dovey with them with unannounced massages because to a manly man they are not "into" those types of things. Most guys do not want to admit that they do get massages and that they do love them, that type of response usually happens with the younger men because they are immature, but the stance still remains that when guys get into talking about that emotional, loving, sensual stuff they will clam up and pretend it does not happen even if it does because their friends may think it is dumb for a guy to like that stuff. Usually men will open up later on with close friends but those young guys especially they are not about to admit that they love to fall asleep being spooned by their gf or wife. It is just that general sense of "men should not have that side" which is quite unfortunate for them to think. Women will spoon their guy, massage their guy, kiss him all over his body, lick his body, tell him he is good looking, whisper sweet nothings in his ear about how nice his body is and so on. Women do get sensual, a man though may not want to admit to his buds that it happens because it has that sensual aspect instead of a primal side that some men think is the only side a man should have done to him.

"So what is the difference between a women having a porn (erotic) dream (sex only) about someone they have met, and a man looking on the screen?"

Dreams are out of one's control. There is zero, none, no control over dreams outside. Anything you view in your daily life can be incorporated into a dream simply by the process of it entering your memory. If they see someone on the street and they think "hot she is fine" and later that night they have an uncontrolled dream of that person there is nothing one can do. They may not intend to have that dream, heck it could be of Angelina Jolie, but it is out of their control and if the dreams occurs their neurons have decided that seeing that image earlier in the day is what it is going to be about. Just like if you see a butterfly in the park one day during your lunch break at work and for some reason you dream of being in the park again looking at that butterfly, you do not choose to have that dream but your mind just decides to that night. As for the computer screen it is complete choice. A man chooses to sit down, a man chooses to search their favorite porn site, a man chooses to type in their favorite porn actress or porn act into the search bar, and the man chooses to pretend to be the man in the act pounding that fantasy girl. That is the difference, the choice.