[stressed]

I think samanthatallon has got this right. Besides, what if he looks at porn and it gives him a huge erection and then he comes into the bathroom and wants to insert it into you, Wouldn't that be perfect ?

Ehm, no, it wouldn't be. Women aren't fascinated by huge erections and intercourse itself as much as men think they are, there is a lot more than that.

If my SO would need porn to achieve a huge erection then something serious would be wrong in his brain, or he just wouldn't be sexually satisfied by me. But I don't see such an example as "doing the lady a favour and ejaculating inside her instead of a tissue after some good porn viewing". Being chosen over porn is not a luxury, is a basic standard. Besides, the majority of men wouldn't dare make such a move, out of fear of being caught watching porn and feel embarrassed about it. They'd just choose the tissue anyway. Then their SO would find out and things would get nasty.

I loved the handyman example.

To the OP: Tell him what you did and what you found. Better deal with this sooner than later.

[rhiannon34]

But I don't see such an example as "doing the lady a favour and ejaculating inside her instead of a tissue after some good porn viewing". Being chosen over porn is not a luxury, is a basic standard.

To the OP: Tell him what you did and what you found. Better deal with this sooner than later.[/QUOTE]

*Clap*Clap*Clap* I think I just joined the anti-porn side.

Oh, and I already fessed. The beauty of a healthy relationship I am finding after all these years is that with difficult times, you love them even more.

[Guest]

Ladies, when a guy looks at porn it's a stimulus to get the urge and equipment going in most cases. If he's in a loving relationship and has regular sex with you please don't worry about him looking at porn. He knows the bird in hand is worth much more than the model in the bush! The time to worry is when he doesn't want sex with you and he's out with someone else!

[Hopeless Dork]

Oh ... I'd have to agree with miss lana and stressed on this one. If my bf watched porn while I was in the tub and presented me with his raging porno induced boner like oh lookie here!! I would not touch it. Part of whats a turn for sex for me is being the source of his arousal, not the hole to which he stuffs, which is the scenerio you painted :\

[ocularone]

I'm just so confused on where we got off track and made this general thinking, as a society, that pornography while in a committed relationship is in ANY way "natural" or "healthy". Have we seriously lowered our standards on love and romance that much? I don't know about everyone else but i refuse to conform to the idea that ANYTHING that makes your partner feel bad or insecure is wise. "It's just a guy thing" ..."Oh guys are strange creatures and we will never understand them"..."It's ok for your guy to look at porn as long as it's still you he is in bed with".."Men just need some extra eye candy..some extra stimulation to be aroused".---Just a load of crock to keep feeding the lie we have all created. You wanna know what REAL romance looks like? I would suggest anyone read a book called "Wild at heart" By a guy names John Eldridge. It's a book for men (and women too in a way) to understand a true passion for the woman you love. To be bold and adventurous in love. Man how cool would it be if we guys could lay everything on the line for the woman we love? To make her the apple of our eye, the one we would not just die for..but be adventurous and courageous in the way we love on them. You probably think i am talking of fairy tales but i truly believe it's the way love was intended to be..We just warped it into something so different that when we get a glimpse of what it should be like..we pass it off as unachievable..a fairy tale for a good disney movie....

Oh..and anyone reading this who says guys would never have this same opinion. i AM a guy so..

[rhiannon34]

I'm just so confused on where we got off track and made this general thinking, as a society, that pornography while in a committed relationship is in ANY way "natural" or "healthy". Have we seriously lowered our standards on love and romance that much? I don't know about everyone else but i refuse to conform to the idea that ANYTHING that makes your partner feel bad or insecure is wise. "It's just a guy thing" ..."Oh guys are strange creatures and we will never understand them"..."It's ok for your guy to look at porn as long as it's still you he is in bed with".."Men just need some extra eye candy..some extra stimulation to be aroused".---Just a load of crock to keep feeding the lie we have all created. You wanna know what REAL romance looks like? I would suggest anyone read a book called "Wild at heart" By a guy names John Eldridge. It's a book for men (and women too in a way) to understand a true passion for the woman you love. To be bold and adventurous in love. Man how cool would it be if we guys could lay everything on the line for the woman we love? To make her the apple of our eye, the one we would not just die for..but be adventurous and courageous in the way we love on them. You probably think i am talking of fairy tales but i truly believe it's the way love was intended to be..We just warped it into something so different that when we get a glimpse of what it should be like..we pass it off as unachievable..a fairy tale for a good disney movie....

Oh..and anyone reading this who says guys would never have this same opinion. i AM a guy so..

I seriously agree. Oh, and are you single??

[Fallen1]

Ladies, when a guy looks at porn it's a stimulus to get the urge and equipment going in most cases.

That SHOULD BE what his S/O does for him.

If he's in a loving relationship and has regular sex with you please don't worry about him looking at porn. He knows the bird in hand is worth much more than the model in the bush!

Then he shouldn't be wanting/need to look at the model in the bush if it isn't worth as much.


There is no reason (in my opinion) for a man or woman who are in a healthy relationship to need the use of porn if it offends the partner. However, if it is acceptable to both parties and they agree to have it a part of their relationship then fine.

[stressed]

I'm just so confused on where we got off track and made this general thinking, as a society, that pornography while in a committed relationship is in ANY way "natural" or "healthy". Have we seriously lowered our standards on love and romance that much? I don't know about everyone else but i refuse to conform to the idea that ANYTHING that makes your partner feel bad or insecure is wise. "It's just a guy thing" ..."Oh guys are strange creatures and we will never understand them"..."It's ok for your guy to look at porn as long as it's still you he is in bed with".."Men just need some extra eye candy..some extra stimulation to be aroused".---Just a load of crock to keep feeding the lie we have all created. You wanna know what REAL romance looks like? I would suggest anyone read a book called "Wild at heart" By a guy names John Eldridge. It's a book for men (and women too in a way) to understand a true passion for the woman you love. To be bold and adventurous in love. Man how cool would it be if we guys could lay everything on the line for the woman we love? To make her the apple of our eye, the one we would not just die for..but be adventurous and courageous in the way we love on them. You probably think i am talking of fairy tales but i truly believe it's the way love was intended to be..We just warped it into something so different that when we get a glimpse of what it should be like..we pass it off as unachievable..a fairy tale for a good disney movie....

Oh..and anyone reading this who says guys would never have this same opinion. i AM a guy so..

Up until you wrote you were a guy and saw your nickname afterwards, I thought you were a woman. Well said, this post earned a lot of respect. It was simply brilliant. You must be a truly wonderful partner. Not just regarding porn itself, but your way of thinking, the respect you have towards women, and so on. Well done. You're a rare kind of man. You even read books, which most men don't.

Ladies, when a guy looks at porn it's a stimulus to get the urge and equipment going in most cases. If he's in a loving relationship and has regular sex with you please don't worry about him looking at porn. He knows the bird in hand is worth much more than the model in the bush! The time to worry is when he doesn't want sex with you and he's out with someone else!

TH, women have urges too. In fact, with what's going on with women's hormones those urges can be even 'worse' than those any man can get by watching porn. Because they are natural, not forced. Women's hormones equal men's need to ejaculate every once in a while due to sperm build up. So, I am not going to fall for "all men need to do it" ever in my life. I'm quite good at basic anatomy and biology. Any other excuse, but not the "it's a man's thing". Because it is not. It's just a part of our culture and society, it sells, and it keeps the men-ruled world happy. It's the same as saying "all men watch football", or "all men love to fight". Nope. We are all individuals with our own standards, needs and wishes. Not lambs.

When either a man or a woman, who is in a healthy relationship, gets such an urge then the most reasonable thing to do is to share this urge with the SO. Is the SO away for 8 hours? So why not wait with it? Why not surprise your SO with something passionate? Why choose fast food for? I will never understand this. If you're so excited and can't wait, then fine, masturbate, but you don't need porn when you're in such a state, it just happens. To not be in this mood and seek porn in order to be aroused is 'cheating'. Not in the sense of cheating as in having sex with someone else, but in the sense of not playing the game fair. Still, if your SO is fine with porn, I don't see a problem with it even if I don't agree with it. It's your parter who matters, not the view of others. Whether that is for or against porn.

Porn is not a worry. It's an insult. There is a difference. No woman is worried about any b or c rated porn star. She's doesn't feel threatened that her man will leave her for her. This is never the case. When your SO feels insulted by something you do then you better take it into consideration and not try to convince her as if what you want is a general truth.

p.s. not 'you' as in 'you' TH, just talking in general

I recently read a study which claimed that 65% of the men who watch porn cheat on their SO's. It's hard to find at the moment, and I know there are certain men here who are not convinced by such lines, but just look it up yourself and you'll find it. I cannot post links here anyway. I wouldn't mention this if I hadn't read it, I never do that, I have performed quite a few studies to lie about percentages and I don't state it as a fact either. But I did find it quite interesting.

[Texinator]

I think samanthatallon has got this right. Besides, what if he looks at porn and it gives him a huge erection and then he comes into the bathroom and wants to insert it into you, Wouldn't that be perfect ?

I'm sure she'd rather that he gets a huge erection while looking at her, otherwise she's just gonna feel like he thinks of her as a 'penis receptacle.'

[ocularone]

I seriously agree. Oh, and are you single??

I'm glad you agree and i am sorry to disappoint but i am absolutely SMITTEN :-)

Up until you wrote you were a guy and saw your nickname afterwards, I thought you were a woman. Well said, this post earned a lot of respect. It was simply brilliant. You must be a truly wonderful partner. Not just regarding porn itself, but your way of thinking, the respect you have towards women, and so on. Well done. You're a rare kind of man. You even read books, which most men don't.

If only all those things were true of me...I know I have SERIOUS flaws, just like any other person living on this planet. Sometimes i find it hard to voice my opinion on this subject just because i think people tend to assume i have alterior motives for posting such ideas. Especially on a (predominantly) women's forum. I know i am just as screwed up as any other guy :-P i just happen to be a nutjob hopeless romantic. Which history has actually proven that having my point of view on love can be quite unsuccesful.