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  • Jim60
    Member
    • Dec 2010
    • 60

    LB - Well, we don't talk about sex outside of when we are doing it. I don't think we ever did, but we do talk sometimes in bed, usually at my instigation. She might comment she came twice and did I notice or my feels extra hard morning, but it's just comments not like a conversation.

    She has never expressed a wish to do anything new, yet will occasionaly clamber into a new position, or one we haven't used for a long time without saying anything. Less common these days as we have tried most and know what we like by now. As an example, the first time she wanted it doggie she just rolled over on all fours and stuck her butt in the air. It was obvious what she wanted, but she didn't say a word and as I remember hadn't wanted to try it when I suggested it before. Other times if I have gone down on her she will be really into it and say after "how did you know that was what I wanted right then?" But I can't remember her ever asking me to go down on her. I guess you could say she's more action than words - if our sex life hit the buffers it would be a problem but we seem to manage ok. She enjoys sex when we're doing it, but I don't believe she gives it much of a thought outside of that situation.

    I have made a game of it, but I always loose! She will give me a handjob, rubbing me around her nipples but always points me away at the last moment so I
    cum on my self or the sheets. Her timing is faultless! After I will pull her towards me for a hug and she'll wriggle and squeal to keep out of the wet patch. Sometimes she will catch a few drops, and I'll clean her up or once we've settled down she'll go to the bathroom and wash her hands. But as far as deliberatly directing the shot onto herself, no way!

    Maybe she just knows what she wants to do, and since it's 90% of what I want to do and 0% of what I don't want to do it works for us.

    Anyway, reading what some couples are going through in relationships nowhere near as long lasting as ours, I feel we are lucky with what we have. Probably one day she will just do it when I least expect it!

    Comment

    • Texasred
      Veteran Member
      • Oct 2009
      • 1216

      Sometimes, one partner finds things that occurred early in the sexual relationship to be a turn-on. Or even things that they did early-on with previous partners.

      I know my wife did -back when she liked sex...

      Comment

      • Texasred
        Veteran Member
        • Oct 2009
        • 1216

        Originally posted by Jim60
        Anyway, reading what some couples are going through in relationships nowhere near as long lasting as ours, I feel we are lucky with what we have.
        You got that part right!

        Comment

        • Hopeless Dork
          Veteran Member
          • Dec 2008
          • 4255

          I think communication, honest intimate communication is what will help this situation. You need to tell her what cumming on her breasts would mean to you... and in a way that allows her to feel sexy, and not used or disrespected.

          I love when my boyfriend cums on my body, it turns me on because it turns him on... it turns me on because I feel like its getting to feel the tactile results of his pleasure.. to me its sexy. He tells me how hot my body is, how much it turns him on to see himself erupt on me.. and that makes me feel desired, and I love it.

          But I can totally see how it can under circumstances where a woman doesn't understand why you'd want to see that/feel that... that they'd consider it degrading. I've heard some women refer to it with disgust and horror and compare it to being pee'd on... and I just don't think of my man's ejaculate as biological waste... I think of it as his orgasm in liquid form. Its all in how the person on the receving end perceives it that makes all the difference.

          In porn especially, men can ejaculate on women as a form of disrespect, they say cruel things as they do it, make into something ugly instead of something intimate, bonding... and pretty darn hot.

          So I think it would be best to tell her why it excites you... that it has nothing to do with treating her like garbage.. but everything to do with the visual appeal , seeing yourself on her... if she can see it for the close moments it can create rather than as something dirty and bad... she may change her feelings about it. Of course, she may not ever... but I think it wouldn't hurt to be sure she understands why you want it... so that she doesn't have a distorted view of what its all about to you.
          Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

          Comment

          • LanaBear
            Veteran Member
            • Jul 2009
            • 8373

            Originally posted by Hopeless Dork
            I love when my boyfriend cums on my body, it turns me on because it turns him on... it turns me on because I feel like its getting to feel the tactile results of his pleasure.. to me its sexy. He tells me how hot my body is, how much it turns him on to see himself erupt on me.. and that makes me feel desired, and I love it.
            DITTO! Honestly, just the sight of it excites me because I know it happened because of me.

            Comment

            • Jim60
              Member
              • Dec 2010
              • 60

              As far as the disrespect aspect goes, in your opinion would it be different if the guy masturbated himself, or you made him cum on your body?

              To be honest, I think it is mostly that we both lack understanding. Even thought I tried to explain, and she heard the words, she just doesn't get why I want it. And I don't get why a she won't put up with a little bit of mess to make me happy once in a while.

              She is not fascinated with the sight of me ejaculating, although will sometimes exclaim over a particularly good one. When she masturbates me we both enjoy watching her hand on me, but when I cum she is almost always watching my face intently as she likes to se my reaction there, wheras I am watching to see how much and how far. Lately, we sometimes masturbate together, occasionaly she will cum while I am holding her and maybe giving oral attention to her nipples, which she loves. But she never wants me to cum, prefering to go on to penetration or finish me herself. I have only done myself with her a few times, when drunk and she couldn't get me there before she was worn out. A couple of times I felt myself cumming before I was ready and pulled out thinking I could stop, but had left it too late and felt myself cumming so used my hand and shot onto her belly - she was cool with it, found it more funny than anything, but not excited.

              I don't think it's the unclean bit, she likes to watch me pee once in a while, and even wanted to hold it for me. Didn't work as I got hard straight away and couldn't do anything! So she's not a prude by any means.

              Thanks again for your thoughts.

              Comment

              • Guest

                Your wifes attitude to semen is the norm for women. Cum is icky and women are in general prude and think cum is gross, can you blame them? I'm a guy too, and even I think semen is icky.

                Comment

                • Guest

                  It's not "gross" but whats the intrigue in having to cum on us ???

                  Comment

                  • jns
                    Assistant Admin
                    • Mar 2010
                    • 8398

                    Originally posted by sidneyalive
                    It's not "gross" but whats the intrigue in having to cum on us ???
                    For guys, how far they squirt is related to the passion they feel at the time of climaxing. Not much passion equals a few short squirts and than a bunch of dribbles. A lot of passion equals maybe 3 to 5 big squirts and then smaller ones and dribbles. If it is done inside the SO, there is no demonstration of the passion the guy feels at that time. A lot of guys like to demonstrate that passion to the person who caused it.
                    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                    ...
                    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                    Comment

                    • jns
                      Assistant Admin
                      • Mar 2010
                      • 8398

                      Originally posted by Hurley
                      Your wifes attitude to semen is the norm for women. Cum is icky and women are in general prude and think cum is gross, can you blame them? I'm a guy too, and even I think semen is icky.
                      Semen is sticky, but not icky. The fluids a woman secretes in her vagina and close by areas are not icky, either.
                      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                      ...
                      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                      Comment

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