[Ashlee T.]

meeting up tomorrow..pray for me..im so nervous..after the meeting in which i lost my virginity,this is my first meeting with him..

How old are you Enna? And how old is he? How did you meet? How long have you been going out with him? Have you ever gone out on any dates, or is this just talking on line and phone and then meeting up for sex?

[kristalyn_04]

Oh gosh no, no, no sweetie... I absolutely would NOT try for anal until you've had some more sexual experience. If he knew you were a virgin, he should not have asked for anal from you. That's something you need to build up to, and have a lot of trust in him. Don't rush into this, you call the shots.

[Texinator]

we dont meet up much..its just the fone or internet most of the times =(...mybe thats the reason we rush and rushed things so fastly..and it was an enjoyable experience,except 'that' part of it..

Sex is a pain if you rush things. Literally.

I understand that the hormones are raging and you don't get to spend a lot of time together, but there is the quick way and there is the right way, and I'm sure moving at the right pace - going the right way - will be worth the wait.

[Guest]

How old are you Enna? And how old is he? How did you meet? How long have you been going out with him? Have you ever gone out on any dates, or is this just talking on line and phone and then meeting up for sex?

im 23,and hes 35...as i told u,we dont go out..kind of,we cant..no its not just talking on fone and then meeting up for sex,but we see each other after such long periods...

u asked that in a way that is scaring me..

[Guest]

Oh gosh no, no, no sweetie... I absolutely would NOT try for anal until you've had some more sexual experience. If he knew you were a virgin, he should not have asked for anal from you. That's something you need to build up to, and have a lot of trust in him. Don't rush into this, you call the shots.

hmmm..i wont....i trust him and love him..i was conservative enough not to talk to my male class mates without any particular reason,and now i have given him my virginity,i love him enough..bt anal is still something that scares me....im just not able to make myself be in 'im ready' kinda state of mind..is it absurd to think so AFTER losing my virginity???

[Texinator]

as i told u,we dont go out..kind of,we cant..

What's separating the two of you that you can't see each other more often? Distance? Work schedule?

[Guest]

What's separating the two of you that you can't see each other more often? Distance? Work schedule?

Distance and...hes married.

[Ashlee T.]

Oh no I didn't mean to scare you (though I'm not sure what I said that was scary). I was just asking questions to try to understand your situation a little more. It's very hard for people to give you accurate advice if they only know part of the equation. For instance, if we had known up front that you have only slept with this man once and you lost your virginity to him, most of us wouldn't have been encouraging you to try anal with him. Wasn't intended to scare you. But of course it's a bit concerning if you lost your virginity to him, have slept with him once, haven't seen him since, and he's asking you to do anal with him.

What keeps you two from going out on dates and spending time together?

[Ashlee T.]

Distance and...hes married.

Oh. Well that explains it. Safe to say you're being taken advantage of and are setting yourself up for disaster and MAJOR heartbreak.

[Texinator]

Distance and...hes married.

Uh oh... Well, he might genuinely care for you and he might have a legitimate reason for being unhappy with his marriage, but that still doesn't justify him cheating on his wife and you could still very well be playing with fire by involving yourself with him. The whole thing of "I'm going to leave her soon and then we'll be together forever" often doesn't work like that.

But considering that it was just your first time having sex and now he already wants to tr out anal... I'm sad to say that it might just be a case of him thinking that things at home have become "stale" and so now he needs some "fresh meat" with which to have some fun.