[tinkerbell930]

cowboy-
I think we are overlapping when we respond..since I hit the send on my reply yours showed up...
BUT, I can say that your suggestions are great. I do like them...I will try to implement some of those...
He doesn't help me cook at all....he really is spoiled in so many ways...does nothing around the house...he doesn't work in an office. He owns his own construction business and that is prety much his life...he is also an avid hunter and fisher. He is a true man's man...BUT has a deep soul. It is such a contradiction!
I don't think he has EVER taken the time for a woman (which is great for my jealousy, not so great with my needs! ).
Oh, and to answer your question, yes, I do keep myself very neatly trimmed. So again, that isn't it either.
I have tried to tell him that we should write a little fantasy note to each other so that night is all about that....hasn't happened...but it was a good idea. I guess I could try actually writing it out and giving it to him tonight. You have been really helpful!!!!!
I do hope your wife realizes what she has in you too!

[tinkerbell930]

cowboy-
I really do hope those suggestions help.
My husband constantly tells me how much passion we have and how wonderful I am in our love making....and I do know we are great together....
You made me laugh when you said you wouldn't leave the house if your wife were that way. That was funny!
My husband and I make love just about every night....if I have my girl thing (I know how much men hate that subject, so sorry), I ALWAYS take care of him...most of the time it is oral and sometimes it is with my hand and baby oil....he rarely does either....there is not much foreplay....the minute he is naked, he is ready to go....I am usually NOT ready....but that doesn't stop us....I just have to tell myself that the actual love making will be wonderful (and is, and I even have O's sometimes that way-if I am in top and he can hold back and let me drive)....
I have given him tons of body massages-he has NEVER given me one. I have taken showers with him and soaped him and loved on him...he has done this once for me.
I love him insanely, he is NOT at all romantic and I tell him I need some of that....I just don't know how else to get through to him. I AM VERY OPEN about the things I would LOVE him to do...I don't demand anything.... I give everything and then some...but I don't want to be the type of wife that says, I won't for you if you don't for me....I want it to be mutual all the time! Sorry....thanks for letting me vent. It's nice to hear from a guy too! How can he love me so much and want me all the time, but not want to really put anything into what I would like???

[cowboychuck]

tinkerbell: I am totally baffled why he wouldn't do it on his own. Like I said before, I personally LOVE doing it. Since he's said he enjoys it, it should not be necessary to ask for it; he should want to do it. I don't think the "smell" thing should be a much of a factor when its your lover, especially when you are clean. Do you know if he prefers you shaved or unshaved and can you accommodate that preference? (I can't believe I'm asking you these questions!)

I can of course only tell you what winds me up and I guess not every guy would agree with me:

My idea of a great evening is to cook dinner together, enjoying some wine while we cook, with a few wine-flavoured kisses in between. Then after a relaxing dinner to get on the couch and cuddle and let it progress from there. If my wife suggested that we cook dinner together (or even that I cook dinner) and she would be the dessert that would drive me absolutely crazy. Maybe something like that would work on him. You getting naked and putting some whipped cream in a few strategic spots without allowing him to get undressed would put his focus where it needs to be. Tell him he'll get to wear his share of the whipped cream when he's done his job.

Another thought is to tell him it's "tinkerbell night" and you get to call the shots. I think most guys like the idea of being subservient once in a while - unless they're insecure macho freaks. Set the stage by telling him that on "tinkerbell night" its all about what tinkerbell wants and that he has to cook dinner for you while you have a relaxing bath. That sort of sets it up for him to be in "obedience" mode already. I would enjoy it very much if my wife told me that, and after dinner made me lie on the bed, then stripped slowly for me and draped her hair over my face, then her boobs and finally straddled me with her pu**y. There is no way I would not get the idea... and like it!

I think the most favourite for the majority of guys is the stockings & garter getup like I mentioned before. If you wore that either with the dinner idea or in another setting and you slowly undress for him, that should make him crazy. But to keep the focus on what you want, don't allow him to get undressed until he's done his job properly.

The big thing is don't let him lose focus on you by allowing him to undress. As soon as he gets to do that, the other head will take over all his thinking!

If he can't do the dinner thing, maybe you could call him at work and tell him that you've been shopping got some new lingerie you want to try and that you'll be having "tinkerbell night" tonight. Let him think about it all day. That'd make me nuts.

Another idea is to print off what you posted previously and put it in his pocket when he goes to work (or in his wallet, whatever) then either call or email him at work and tell him where the note is and to read it. Then let him think about it all day. If he's at all normal, he'll want to taste you after that.

I feel like I should be writing a sexy novel now.

[tinkerbell930]

cowboy-
Thanks for saying I am gutsy. Just want to help any way I can.
So, I guess my question would be to you...why would my husband NOT want to do this and only "talk" about it? I have given him so much oral since we have been together (3 years now)...and he tells me how much he loves it...then I tell him I love when he does it for me (the 5 or 6 times he has I have responded very well and have had huge O's...he tells me it turns him on major when I do that)....but I can't even remember the last time he did it. I would like it on a more regular basis...even ONCE a month would be great! No porno's and no 69 (we have done that once but neither of us can concentrate on the other....)
If I take the time to please him (at least 4-6 orals for him a month) why can't he reciprocate without me having to tell him I want it? It is so embarrassing to me to say "hey babe, will you PLEASE go down on me?" I can't exactly tell him my ex did it all the time and enjoyed it so I know I don't smell or taste bad...I shower all the time....It really makes me feel like I am disgusting to him since he doesn't do it.

[cowboychuck]

tinkerbell: Thank you so much for your suggestions. My wife doesn't like to discuss sex so I have to try to "read" her and unfortunately I'm pretty bad at that. You are amazingly helpful and straightforward. It's incredible to have such a frank and personal discussion with a person I've never even met and I'm grateful that you have been willing to share. I can't believe your husband doesn't seem to appreciate the lover he has by ignoring your requests. If my wife was as passionate and asked for what you just described, I'd never leave the house!!!

[cowboychuck]

bat61: have you read tinkerbell's 2 postings? I'm going to give her suggestions a whirl first chance I get!!!

I think reading these honest and straightforward suggestions from a woman who knows what she would like is extremely helpful - and incredibly gutsy.

I don't think there is a "right" or a "wrong" when it comes to oral (or any other sex). I posted my question about women liking or not liking it on a couple of other sites as well (- kind of my own little survey). It seems more women like it than don't, but its not by a lanslide. Most of the comments mention being gentle so I think the big factor is to try to do what she seems to respond to. Setting the mood like tinkerbell suggests is probably a biggie, then getting there slowly to make sure she actually is interested and doesn't get shocked when you get your face down there. My impression now is to use the tongue in a caressing way and see how she reacts. Maybe you can eliminate her fear of the smell issue by having a shower or bubble bath together first. Maybe mentioning that the fragrance (smell & odour are have kind of negative connotations) of her clean pu**y is intoxicating to you. Good lick... uhh, Luck.

[tinkerbell930]

cowboy-
I would say if she doesn't hate it, then you have room to work with. If she says she doesn't understand why you want to lick her there, tell her in a non-graphic way (which I am sure you have tried). I think whispered things are the best to put her in the mood. This is going to sound weird and I am only one woman with my opinion, but if my husband would tell me in a sexy voice that he wants to taste me and can't wait to slide his tongue over my cl*t, that would drive me crazy...then if he passionately kissed me, (not aggressively), I would know that is how it is going to feel down there....then he can work his way down with slow, wet kisses and slide my legs apart, by then I would be quivering....then tease a little with the tip....and then just proceed from there....again, not getting over zealous about it is the key....in my mind when he does that, I think "he just wants to get this over with so he is frustrated and going faster to make me hurry up and I was SOOO enjoying it before he started getting crazy with it...."....I have NO CLUE if that is what is in your wife's mind but it could be one other reason she can't relax and enjoy it. If you tell her you want to take your time and make her feel relaxed that might help your cause. I can't believe I am even telling a guy how to get his wife relaxed for her to enjoy it....when I can't even get my own husband to DO it.

[bat61]

My wife really doesn't enjoy it. Do I do it right? I think so but it's her fear or perception about smell taste etc. Now she also says it prohibits hear from having the big O. I don't know why but that's the way she is although I'd rather give than recieve. Maybe not.

[cowboychuck]

Tinkerbell, again thanks for your suggestions. You're right of course about some women just never enjoying it, and I respect that. My wife doesn't exactly hate the oral. Mainly she says it does nothing for her and she can't understand my desire to lick her there. Sometimes she allows me to, and I greatly enjoy that. I just want to make it the best I can for her when those occasions happen, thats why I was asking for suggestions. I appreciate the input on technique (sounds kind of clinical doesn't it?). I suspect I'm probably guilty of the over-exuberance that you mention about your hubby. We got our anniversary coming up and the occasion just may present itself. I will follow your suggestion if we get to that point.

[tinkerbell930]

cowboy-
I felt the same way when I realized how young she is.
I have 3 daughters-21/19/14. I know the 2 older ones have already had sex, but hearing a 16 year old talking like that just freaked me out a little. I noticed another thread she had posted on about a girl that didn't know if she had an orgasm by intercourse and this 16 year old had posted back about it. As if she has tons of experience...that makes me somewhat sad. ravsome-you have a lot of years ahead of you...even though you have had sex, I hope you start to hold back and wait for a time when you are older and have found a loving man that will SHOW you what it is all about. I know at 16 I was VERY in love with my high school boyfriend (we were together for over 3 years) and the sex was so clumsy....it wasn't until years and years later that I realized what it was all about. Sorry to be another "parent" on here lecturing!