[junglefever]

jungle fever - couldn't agree with you more.

marcopoly, During and around ovulation, us ladies produce "cervical fluid". It is sometimes watery, it is sometimes thick and chunky, it is sometimes springy like eggwhites. This cervical fluid (commonly called discharge or mucous....) is the equivalent of your sperm because if we did not produce it, there would be no way for your sperm to make it's way to fertilize the egg. It's a vital part of reproduction, just like your semen is. Somewhere along the line in society it became an expectation of women to swallow the mans "fertile fluid". Nowhere along the line did it become expectation for a man to excrete a womans cervical fluid and ingest it. Why? And in many cases, it's not enough just to swallow it..... many guys want you to hold it on your tongue so they can see it, watch it drip out your mouth (like in porn....), want you to wipe it off yourself and eat it. To me, this expectation has been taken to a ridiculous level. Especially when in a relationship where one partner doesn't want to do it, the other partner feels unwanted and unloved as a result.

This same concept could apply to anything. What if it were anal sex that you so strongly wanted and she didn't? Does it mean she doesn't love you or want you because she doesn't want something painfully ramming in her exit? No, of course it doesn't. But you could say, "the fact that you won't do this makes me feel unloved...". Those kinds of guilt trips shouldn't be placed on someone you love.

With that said, if your marriage is suffering in other ways, having nothing to do with swallowing semen, that's a whole different issue and hopefully you will not miss the forrest (the true relationship issues) for the trees (wife not wanting to swallow)....

I couldnt agree with you more either..

Most porn is designed to be from the guys "angle" and what he gets to "see"..and its also all about the sex there is no "emotional" attachment or aspect between the couple or between the viewer and the woman in the scene..and so since you arent there of cousre getting to "feel" all this .its all visual..its common and expected the ejacualation be outside of the womans body every single time..you never see porn where the guy finishes rams it in the last few times and moans while finishing in her vagina..the "cum shot" is the "grand finale" the "result"..so what are we goign to do hmmm...I know..he should squirt it all over her face and mouth while she licks her lips and goes YUMMY!!!she should hold her mouth wide open too..no fun if you cant see the semen actually going in her mouth..a BIG part of porn is the mans semen being her absolute thrill and delight to produce out of him..play with and eat..Its common and routine..."no biggie"..

Im not saying "real sex" has to be only "missionary" and boring..never trying new things..under the covers lights off dead silence .but in "general" these girls facial expressions too are zoned in on so the man gets to "see" shes turned on ..her vocalizations are out of this world..shes apparently in ectacsy and multiply orgasminc from pentetration(including painful double vaginal penetraion and or vaginal and anal at the same time or even double anal penetration ) ..Its "over the top as you put it..a man will watch that enough and come (no pun intended) to expect to get that kind of reaction(performance) and eagerness to do ALL those things including worshiping his semen and cant then understand what his wifes (or GF's) "hang up " is..If "all he asking for " is for her to "want to swallow semen"..

What people dont know with porn is they are stopping and starting scenes many times..because the woman vomits..or starts crying..is bleeding etc...Another thing LOL!..Drug use including alcohol is a porn actresses staple for HER to "get over it" and look at it as "whats the big deal...Many of these women feel utterly degraded.Again there are exceptions some that are exibitionists and have a "keen" interest in sex..its not the majority..But it SEEMS that way because ALL of them ...make it appear they love it..the porn woudlnt sell other wise...unless it is the kind that the turn on is the woman is obviously suffering physically or emotionally..but thats a whole other story...

Dallas

[Elanor-Jane]

i agree completely with jungle fever and beautiful disaster also---(its not an expression of love for all men and women, time to move on as i dont think its ever going to happen for you dude..)

except for the part about the pornos, that would be a minority experience for the women, ive spoken to both sexs in the industry can the women can be just as full on. i worked in the sex industry for years here in Australia and these types of industries are a choice. if shes being degraded (and alot of it is) she needs to reasses her career choice, or find something else to do for the money shes after. there were many times when i felt degraded and abused but it was my choice to be there and i either toughed it out (if it was minor) or corrected the situation.
a certain level of understanding needs to be applied--much of these industries are female run, its not always men creating the degrading porn, but unfortunatly the gonzo stuff is a big seller.

i watch alot of porn, and the stuff where the women are really young and you can tell they are being pushed too far---does suck. but they are not slaves, and this type of porn is not mainstream or respected by the industy, its usually just low grade that makes its way onto the internet.

and not all women who become strippers, porn stars or sex workers have been abused as children or young adults. you would all be suprised how normal many of these women are.
i grew up in a good home around people who loved me. went to a private school, well educated yadda yadda yadda. too many sterotypes

so yeah i guess my point is yes, alot of it is degrading but they made the choice to do it. and if they take drugs to numb themselves (which me and the other women i worked with ocasionally did-mine were more so to keep me awake!) again its a choice theyve made. unless they love what theyre doing, its for the money, and if they want that cash enough, theyll do almost anything

[junglefever]

i agree completely with jungle fever and beautiful disaster also---(its not an expression of love for all men and women, time to move on as i dont think its ever going to happen for you dude..)

except for the part about the pornos, that would be a minority experience for the women, ive spoken to both sexs in the industry can the women can be just as full on. i worked in the sex industry for years here in Australia and these types of industries are a choice. if shes being degraded (and alot of it is) she needs to reasses her career choice, or find something else to do for the money shes after. there were many times when i felt degraded and abused but it was my choice to be there and i either toughed it out (if it was minor) or corrected the situation.
a certain level of understanding needs to be applied--much of these industries are female run, its not always men creating the degrading porn, but unfortunatly the gonzo stuff is a big seller.

i watch alot of porn, and the stuff where the women are really young and you can tell they are being pushed too far---does suck. but they are not slaves, and this type of porn is not mainstream or respected by the industy, its usually just low grade that makes its way onto the internet.

and not all women who become strippers, porn stars or sex workers have been abused as children or young adults. you would all be suprised how normal many of these women are.
i grew up in a good home around people who loved me. went to a private school, well educated yadda yadda yadda. too many sterotypes

so yeah i guess my point is yes, alot of it is degrading but they made the choice to do it. and if they take drugs to numb themselves (which me and the other women i worked with ocasionally did-mine were more so to keep me awake!) again its a choice theyve made. unless they love what theyre doing, its for the money, and if they want that cash enough, theyll do almost anything

Of course I agree they arent 'slaves"(some of them are but thats another story)..its how many of them landed in the industry ..and the point that its (the vast majority of it anyway) a JOB that is faked for the money..and its many times degrading and the women feel "stuck' similar to you coudl say a woman in an abusive relatoinship is there because she 'chose" the man to begin with and until she leaves she is "choosing" to stay..YOu know who just retired is Amy Fisher..she Im sure LOOKED like she was having a ball..she was drinking through the whole thing..and taking pills..and now says she hated it..and wanted her "dignity" back..She is giving up an income to the tune of several hundred of thousands a year to regain her dignity.

But the point is that isnt what a woman signs up for in a relationship or marriage..to live up to the requirements a porn actress has to and force herself to perform degraing acts in the name of "love"..or so he wont go "find a woman who will" etc..That is coersion ..and its the porn (in part I beleive) that makes these men think that a woman is "defective" if she isnt into all the acts he sees 1000,s of porn actresses "appear" to love doing.

[Guest]

Your welcome.. I dont get it..so is she "letting you ' ejaculate in her mouth and just wont swallow? Or not letting you do it at all?Also ...I think you need to stop and ask your self..if you dont feel loved and wanted over that one thing...then I think maybe you also have some hang ups...For me it had nothing to do with not loving or wanting my husband..MANY women who love and adore thier husbands..and have great wonderful sex with them..are made physcially ill..or have a reasonable (if you ask me) mental aversion to swallowing a large amount in comparison to say spit when we kiss or even vaginal fluids left on your mouth of bodily fluids that I dont care what anyone says..is very similar in taste and TEXTURE to mucous..in fact I think its the same kind of stuff..the base fluid is made out of..

Everyone has a limit..I shouldnt tell my husband that if he wont give me oral sex while Im in the middle of my period because it woudl make me feel SO loved and accepted for him to swallow my uterine lining and unused egg???It would be no differnt if I said then he just doesnt make me feel loved and "special".Some guys woudl have no issue doing that..so it must be "all in his mind" therefore hes not really even trying.

Just becasue some other guys do it out of love even if they dont like it..or they happen to love it and go on abut how they would drink mentrual blood by the gallon if they could..doesnt mean that my husband "should' and not only "should " but really "like to do it"..

I think one of the problems is its a "staple" on porn..seriously ..its "not a big deal" its common..in reality?..it can be a big deal and often is for the average woman.So thne she is in the "hot seat as to come up with the answer to "whats the big deal".."all these other women do it and LOVE it!

Thanks, I get, it....the thought just drives me crazy but you are right, if she does it and she doesn't make feel like she loves it, I'll be hurt too, so I guess, just give sometime,,,,my wife, let me cum on her mouth but let the semen out and swallow a bit.....

[Guest]

jungle fever - couldn't agree with you more.

marcopoly, During and around ovulation, us ladies produce "cervical fluid". It is sometimes watery, it is sometimes thick and chunky, it is sometimes springy like eggwhites. This cervical fluid (commonly called discharge or mucous....) is the equivalent of your sperm because if we did not produce it, there would be no way for your sperm to make it's way to fertilize the egg. It's a vital part of reproduction, just like your semen is. Somewhere along the line in society it became an expectation of women to swallow the mans "fertile fluid". Nowhere along the line did it become expectation for a man to excrete a womans cervical fluid and ingest it. Why? And in many cases, it's not enough just to swallow it..... many guys want you to hold it on your tongue so they can see it, watch it drip out your mouth (like in porn....), want you to wipe it off yourself and eat it. To me, this expectation has been taken to a ridiculous level. Especially when in a relationship where one partner doesn't want to do it, the other partner feels unwanted and unloved as a result.

This same concept could apply to anything. What if it were anal sex that you so strongly wanted and she didn't? Does it mean she doesn't love you or want you because she doesn't want something painfully ramming in her exit? No, of course it doesn't. But you could say, "the fact that you won't do this makes me feel unloved...". Those kinds of guilt trips shouldn't be placed on someone you love.

With that said, if your marriage is suffering in other ways, having nothing to do with swallowing semen, that's a whole different issue and hopefully you will not miss the forrest (the true relationship issues) for the trees (wife not wanting to swallow)....

No at all.....I love her so much and we have a lots of special things......to me thought, all you say above, as long as your wife or husband is willing to try it once, and then see, how can the experience be improved?, then there is communication and commong goal....to me is about trying, exploring, and looking for ways where both can have those things that makes us feel alive....

[Guest]

I couldnt agree with you more either..

Most porn is designed to be from the guys "angle" and what he gets to "see"..and its also all about the sex there is no "emotional" attachment or aspect between the couple or between the viewer and the woman in the scene..and so since you arent there of cousre getting to "feel" all this .its all visual..its common and expected the ejacualation be outside of the womans body every single time..you never see porn where the guy finishes rams it in the last few times and moans while finishing in her vagina..the "cum shot" is the "grand finale" the "result"..so what are we goign to do hmmm...I know..he should squirt it all over her face and mouth while she licks her lips and goes YUMMY!!!she should hold her mouth wide open too..no fun if you cant see the semen actually going in her mouth..a BIG part of porn is the mans semen being her absolute thrill and delight to produce out of him..play with and eat..Its common and routine..."no biggie"..

Im not saying "real sex" has to be only "missionary" and boring..never trying new things..under the covers lights off dead silence .but in "general" these girls facial expressions too are zoned in on so the man gets to "see" shes turned on ..her vocalizations are out of this world..shes apparently in ectacsy and multiply orgasminc from pentetration(including painful double vaginal penetraion and or vaginal and anal at the same time or even double anal penetration ) ..Its "over the top as you put it..a man will watch that enough and come (no pun intended) to expect to get that kind of reaction(performance) and eagerness to do ALL those things including worshiping his semen and cant then understand what his wifes (or GF's) "hang up " is..If "all he asking for " is for her to "want to swallow semen"..

What people dont know with porn is they are stopping and starting scenes many times..because the woman vomits..or starts crying..is bleeding etc...Another thing LOL!..Drug use including alcohol is a porn actresses staple for HER to "get over it" and look at it as "whats the big deal...Many of these women feel utterly degraded.Again there are exceptions some that are exibitionists and have a "keen" interest in sex..its not the majority..But it SEEMS that way because ALL of them ...make it appear they love it..the porn woudlnt sell other wise...unless it is the kind that the turn on is the woman is obviously suffering physically or emotionally..but thats a whole other story...

Dallas

I DONT LOOK AT PORN.....what I like is real home made amateur sex, and let me tell you can be even more graphic that what you find in porn...but I agree is not the norm but the exception.....I don't know why these are so important to me....I like to think about my wife and not only feel love for her but also excitement and passion.....that is when I feel alive and in love.....anyway, I has been in this boat for a while and thanks god, my wife and I already pass the point of crying and making a big deal over this, now, at least, can talk.....

[PinkSandsLover]

I only do this when I am with a man I love and want to please.

Whenever I 69, I ask to be on the bottom. That way I can take him in further and open my throat for it to go down without me tasting it. It makes me a little queasy for a few minutes, but then I'm just fine and he's impressed!

[Darling]

I still dont like to swallow it,
I love to give him head and i love when he comes in my mouth, sometimes i swallow but its so i dont gag or dribble, the rest of the time i spit it out. Either way he loves it when i give him head, and the rest doesnt seem to matter to him. But if it were something that he told me he really wanted, i would do it.

[Guest]

I still dont like to swallow it,
I love to give him head and i love when he comes in my mouth, sometimes i swallow but its so i dont gag or dribble, the rest of the time i spit it out. Either way he loves it when i give him head, and the rest doesnt seem to matter to him. But if it were something that he told me he really wanted, i would do it.

My wife still won't do it, but she shows a lot of excitement and try to deep throw me.....as well as she does a very nice job on my balls and shaft....she is a very good wife.....I hope some day, I get it....we'll see, it has to be in her own terms....and after a long time of me not mentioning it...

Good for you to try new things...

[GoodGuy]

Hm, I enjoy swallowing my fiances semen, I do HATE the taste though! But I love swallowing it because I know he really enjoys it and turns both of us on. Its a compromise basically because Im sure theres things he does for me that he may not enjoy...

But I think, men shouldnt be so pushy about it.

I'm glad that you spoke up about the difference between liking the taste and liking the action. It's a huge difference in all cases.

Take it from a man's perspective. A woman was turned on transferring her "wetness" to a spoon and watching me put it in my mouth and swallowing. Did I like the taste per se? No. Was I turned on beyond belief? Yep. In fact, I think it may have been my idea.

As far as men being so pushy about it, *there* I see an attitude shift needed in general (not you specifically, but it's a common theme). This need for men did not form in a vacuum ladies....it *is* VERY important to most of us. The idea that you would want me so much that you need me inside you (to incorporate into your body) is incredible. And the closeness from knowing that you ingest this and form your own cells (albeit very very slightly) from it is beyond measure.

IN FACT, even though the taste was not the desired effect, I've had 3 girlfriends who have thought me ejaculating in their drinks or on their food was among the most amazing things ever.

Sex is so often more about the idea of things, and what the action means, than the action itself.

I think that in general there needs to be a shift from a common woman's reaction "it has to be ok for us both" to "how do I make it ok for me because it is so important".