[Obelisk]

You may think its "super easy" to be a good lover, but if you read the posts here its sounds like most men are not all that good in bed

Which really is baffling to me. Maybe most men really do think it's all about stick it in and that's it.

You worry that a woman might some day want to experience a bigger penis. Why not worry that she would want to experience a more skilled lover, or a lover of different ethnicity, or better stamina, or another woman, or someone who looks like Adonis.

I think the novelty factor is what I have working against me here. I'm not worried about a more skilled lover because I can learn. A lover of different ethnicity? Well it's possible. Better stamina? If that's an issue, there's techniques and even medications to help. Another woman? lol well if the woman I'm dating is a lesbian I don't think any size penis will matter to her. Someone who looks like Adonis? I don't look like Adonis right now, but close. I can lose another 10lbs of fat and get defined.

So out of those, ethnicity and penis size are the ones mostly out of my control.

If she really wants to know what a big penis feels like, she can use a toy

Well that brings other issues. I'm not against toys, but if my woman needs one a lot bigger than what I have to get off always, hmm, maybe I'm not the right fit for her then.

Why "worry" so much about something you cannot appreciably change and invest that time and energy into the things you CAN change

What's interesting is that I've found out I can change it, and already working on doing so.

... things that matter much more to a long term loving relationship anyway?

Ok, I'm trying to think back to the women I've dated in the past. I don't think I remember any that seemed to genuinely like my personality and wanted a partner in life. Most have been interested primarily in these fantasies they have in their heads about a bunch of kids running around in a big house, while dad works away to bring the bacon home. I can't provide that because it's not what I want in my life. So if I can't provide that, and I can't provide women with a great sexual experience, then I might as well just get out of the game completely.

Maybe your lack of confidence is the real culprit in why women don't stick around? Most women do not find insecure men sexy.

Hmm, I've always been a "fake it 'till you make it" kind of guy. Most of my dates didn't really go anywhere. The others I've ended myself. Just had kind of a fight with the last girl I was dating. She wants me to keep spending money on dates, taking her to movies and restaurants, even though we already discussed that she wants kids and I don't. So the last time we spoke was basically "why don't you want to go out?" and I just told her I didn't feel like spending more money on something that's not going to go anywhere.

I think for me, most of the time I just think statistically how many women are likely to have slept with much bigger dudes. The internet wreaked havoc on me regarding my previous beliefs in that aspect. It's still statistically impossible for all women to have had much bigger than me (thankfully I'm average and not tiny even if I do, right now, feel tiny). So I swallow the fear and move forward. Still, threads like these don't help:

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/sex/4404-my-husbands-penis.html

I guess I feel these huge dudes are robbing me of something I wanted to provide for the girl. Being a "nice guy" and "good lover" to me are lame substitutions. It's almost like I'm saying "sorry I'm small, but I'll make it up with technique".

Anyway, bright side is that there are ways to control my chances of finding the type of woman I need to find. The kids things is actually a much harder obstacle.

And with that I'm officially out of this topic

[Stillness]

Still, threads like these don't help:
https://www.womens-health.com/boards...nds-penis.html

The amazing thing to me is how you take comments and threads that I'd think would comfort you and somehow turn them into fuel for your obsession.

The lady in this thread is complaining about how big her husband is and how sore she leaves him. Someone says that they not only prefer average, but have outright rejected large men. Somehow instead of saying, "Whew! Glad I'm not so big that I'm causing people problems," you somehow seem to resent the fact that you're not bigger. It's like you're completely ignoring what is being said.

What makes sense to me now is that you don't care as much for a woman's preference or even her sexual satisfaction as you care about the fact that other men are larger than you. You want her to say, "Wow! You're humungous!" You don't really seem to care as much whether humongous is what she wants. You associate bigger and better, and probably think biggest=best. That's just simply not true, at least not for everyone, as you've been told time and time again by multiple women and men.

You also disregarded my question about vaginal size, but in some places vaginal tightness is so highly prized that people have dry sex and get vaginoplasty to tighten the vagina. There are even places where the labia are lengthened or people surgically reduce and adjust their labia. In one of your earlier comments you made reference to the noticeable difference between your girlfriends. My wife has personally expressed concerns about her vaginal tightness and has even made a purchase to aid her with vaginal exercises, even though sex feels great to both of us. I told you that I tried exercises for a few days, but I've never actually bought anything. So, who is really most concerned about this? Just because you're obsessed with the length of your penis doesn't mean the whole world is.

I struggled for a while with the size of my stuff

I also found this one from one of my favorite posters on this thread:

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/sex/54275-how-tell-when-female-body.html#post331477:

I also think I don't like large penises. I've been told I have a shallow vagina, and large penises just look intimidating. Like someone is going to shove a truck inside of you. Whoever made up the idea that all women like big penises is a big liar.

I think my future partner will need to be 4-6 inches tops.

Are you listening to these women?

[Baboy]

Obelisk,

Perhaps you are out of this thread, but your words that you are "officially out of this topic" are suspect. You have been a prodigious poster on threads in any way related to penis size. Are you really going to eschew any further discourse on the topic? We'll see.

At the start of this thread, you commented: "Even if I find a great girl that cares about me and all that stuff, what if she has enjoyed bigger than me and I can't measure up to that? So she's giving that up because she accepts me for my "other" qualities? I guess I feel like it's a part that I can never offer to the right girl. That feeling really sucks."

Many here have endeavored to allay your doubts and fears and I am sure nothing I can add will have any effect.

I am not a regular here, and the penis size motif does not generally inspire me to post, but for once I'll offer a few comments.

First, in general, I will confess to being sore amazed at the near-universal mention of the women on this forum of penis size. Most seem to know within a quarter of an inch the size of their past and current lovers' truncheons. Amazing. I'll agree it does tend to reinforce the view that size looms large (excuse the pun) in the bedroom. A tape measure on every nightstand.

The only woman who ever said anything to me about size is my wife. Early in our relationship she told me she had been in a few sexual relationships before me and one was uncomfortably large. Thus it was clear I was not in that category. So, according to the way you would look at it, not only may I surmise that my wife has had bigger but, barring mendacity on her part (and I see no particular reason why she would lie about it), I know to a certainty that she has had bigger. Ergo, she has compromised in settling for me and my knowledge of her past experience will forever "suck". She will have forever etched in memory visions (and more) of that wondrous instrument, the likes of which I'll never be able to provide. How sucky. An interesting perspective, to be sure.

It occurs to me that you are condemning yourself to eternal frustration and discontent by your mode of reasoning. You profess to have some handle on how to grow your penis and are determined to bring that about. Good luck. But, unless you can achieve the perhaps unenviable title of "word's biggest ****", you will always be plagued by doubt. If you grow to 10 inches, can you be sure you girl has not had 11 (or some of the other astonishing lengths routinely bruited about on this forum)?

I know I do not have the biggest schlong in town, but I am at peace. Yes, there are women who would be disappointed. But I accept that they are in the minority. Even if they are not, why should I care if I have found someone who thinks the sun rises and sets on my penis? Some here have written about how they would laugh at a small penis and send its owner packing. Well, if that's how they feel, nowt I can do about that. If they don't want me unless I'm hung like a horse, I don't want them.

It's certainly fair to say that different men and women have different preferences and no one should be faulted for that. The topic of breast size comes up on a regular basis. Some women are insecure in that area. I like small ones. I am not attracted to big ones. I suppose I am in a minority, but I make no apology for it. My wife's are small by just about any yardstick. She'd like bigger. I think they are perfect. I tell her so often.

A lot has to do with finding the right person. I do not subscribe to the theory that there is only one such person in the world for each of us. There are many in the pool. It's a matter of catching one of the ones that suits.

I am not Asian. My wife is. She's on the small side, about 4'10", 90 lb. soaking wet. I can easily reach her cervix with my little finger. Even when aroused, with my middle finger can get there. I accept her word when she tells me she does not hanker for a monster penis. Asian penises are reported to be on the smaller side. Maybe I am a white guy with an Asian penis. Maybe that's why my wife and I do so well together. We have been together for over a decade. Not many days go by with no sex. Mainly because she wants it. Mind you, I am happy to oblige. I feel wanted for what I am, what I have, penis included. She totally gets off with intercourse. She can orgasm with ease with my "equipment". She prefers that to direct clitoral stimulation. She says our body parts are perfect together. I am inclined to agree.

Once in awhile we see women on this forum expressing doubt about not only breast size, but vagina size. Some worry about being too big to provide much stimulation to all but the biggest penis. I have no experience with a gargantuan love tunnel. That some vaginas are too big to provide the ultimate stimulation to some penises is no doubt something that occurs, just as some penises are too big for some vaginas to give both partners the best sex.

I am not sure if you have addressed it, but what do you say to being compared in other areas? You have mentioned that many women will respond favorably to a big bank account. When you are with a woman, do you brood about the income statement and balance sheet factors? It nay be that she has had better. Unless your statement of net worth would put Bill Gates to shame, you had better beware on that score. Any how about education? Is there a chance she has had more years of schooling? Achieved better marks? Has outperformed you in the work world? Surely contemplating some of these matters can cause your average-size penis to shrink in shame and sorrow, don't you think? Might cause even the most robust erection to wither just a little.

Obelisk, I have no magic formula to impart, but it strikes me that you're a man of some good qualities and you could be happy in a relationship with a woman, and make her happy, if you would quit ruminating on matters that do not deserve such intense scrutiny. What would you say if your mother called you tomorrow from afar and asked you if you had settled into a relationship, perhaps with plans to marry? Would you say something like: "Well mom, thanks to the crappy genes with which you and dad endowed me, I am stuck with a woefully deficient penis that has laid waste any hope of happiness and fulfillment."

Your penis is not the problem. Your brain is sabotaging your ability to succeed.

[Obelisk]

The lady in this thread is complaining about how big her husband is and how sore she leaves him. Someone says that they not only prefer average, but have outright rejected large men. Somehow instead of saying, "Whew! Glad I'm not so big that I'm causing people problems," you somehow seem to resent the fact that you're not bigger. It's like you're completely ignoring what is being said.

Ok back into the thread I go!

Am I ignoring it? Let's see:

I guess this could be used on my other post. are there any other women satisfied with there husbands size. Mine is very well endowed, I'm happy to say, 8 inches and girthy. Has anyone had bigger, because if you did, I dont know how you did it. I get a little sore as it is after a long night of it (yet she is happy to have it), I have to have a break for a couple of days. The funny thing is my husband does'nt understand why I need the break!! Whats the biggest you've had? lets have a contest!!! lol (let's see which women lucked out)

My kids dad who Im not with at the time was 8 inches and sometimes depending on how turned on he was it seemed a little bigger. I didn't get sore when we had sex but I did get cramps when he was in me. I've been with 3 other guys in my life and they were all smaller one was tiny! lol poor guy!! The other two were probably average six inches. ************************************************** ************************************************** **************************** now Im starting to miss that ************************************************** ******************************hole(baby daddy) lol. I think it doesnt hurt much when your more wet as well. Good luck and be thankful you have a man thats packing.

(Hey, at least I'm average and not tiny to her)

Are you guys lying or exaggerating, maybe? I'll just tell you -- I am NOT 8 inches, and when I see women talking like this, I just want to give up.
According to what I've read, I'm slightly above average, about 6 inches when I'm not stressed out or tired from working my ************************************************ off.
I see some forums where women will say it's not a matter of size and others where they act like THAT is the only important thing in a relationship.

So, I admit, I'm so ************************************************** ************** confused and frustrated and i dont know..

(Seems this guy interpreted it the same as me)

Still Nobody, I read your post and to set the record straight I'm sorry if my words offended you (she has nothing to apologize for). Size isn't a real huge factor in a relationship, but in this thread this woman was simply asking if anyone was satisfied with their mans package. I will be honest I was very satisfied with my ex, the other guys were not boyfriends they were just aquaintances. I didn't say there was anything wrong with their size either. Six inches is a good size and I don't believe its small, plus I would never break up with anyone over that. Your just hearing girl talk here (what she/they would ideally like), its the same as when men talk about womens breast or their butts. Some women prefer bigger over smaller some don't care, some men prefer big breast over small but not all. Basically what Im trying to say is you shouldn't get so down about a subject spoken by women you don't even know. You said you were a little more than six inches, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! (except it not large enough to be considered part of the "lucky" group). Pick your head up and don't let something this ************************************************** ************************************************** ************************************************** ****************************************** get you feeling insecure.

(hah hah)

I think an American man is anout 4.23...I dunno. It's somewhere in the 4's. I don't think you should be frustrated. Every man has his own pride and you have yours. Just be happy with what you got.

Why give up? There are many women out their that would appreciate a smaller penis...Not saying you're small at all.

(Patronizing does not help btw. If I get patronizing I shut down. If I get actual experience stories from women who genuinely are happy with average, I listen. Thank you to those who have offered these type of experiences to me. I appreciate it)

hello i must say and i am not lying no reason to i dont know any of you and there is no reason to try to impress you but my husband has a 9 incher and let me tell you after a long night i feel like all my organs are in my chest but i love it lol

(uh huh)


So should I keep going?

I get it. I'm "adequate". I suppose I should just accept mediocrity. I don't think I will ever have 8", but who knows.

You also disregarded my question about vaginal size

I did answer you. It's in a post somewhere maybe in the previous page?

Perhaps you are out of this thread, but your words that you are "officially out of this topic" are suspect. You have been a prodigious poster on threads in any way related to penis size. Are you really going to eschew any further discourse on the topic? We'll see.

Yeah, I guess I am still within topic it looks like.

Would you say something like: "Well mom, thanks to the crappy genes with which you and dad endowed me, I am stuck with a woefully deficient penis that has laid waste any hope of happiness and fulfillment."

Your thread was very long and made some very good points. I believe your wife is happy with your size. Like I said, I do understand now after a lot of learning that yes, body parts have a much larger range than I realized. I appreciate you providing actual experience, but the patronizing was unnecessary.

I'm still shocked that yet another woman has had supposedly huge. I have no idea what "huge" was for your wife. I have no idea what size you are.

I haven't told my parents anything penis specific. I have however told them many times that I got their crappy genetics (which I did). My dad knows about my vasectomy and my desire to not procreate. He agrees that had he known, he wouldn't have had me. And I get along great with my dad, he's my best friend. My mom also understands but not at the same level.

[Baboy]

Well Obelisk,

If to the extent you felt patronized by me, I am sorry.

But you can be quite trying. Stillness, supra, was on target in saying: "The amazing thing to me is how you take comments and threads that I'd think would comfort you and somehow turn them into fuel for your obsession."

You stated in your post immediately above that you just might have to accept "mediocrity". You have gone on record as saying your penis is average, but you aspire to greater. OK, although many have suggested being happy with what you have.

You said "I'm still shocked that yet another woman has had supposedly huge. I have no idea what "huge" was for your wife. I have no idea what size you are." My wife did not really say the other guy was "huge" - just too much for her. That man told her his length was 7". As for my size, I have not measured since I was about 15 and not about to start now. I think I can say with some assurance I am more than 5, less than 7 inches and with an acceptable, albeit mediocre, girth. Within the realm of average.

If you felt patronized by my words, I think many would feel insulted by yours. To say that to be content with being average is to stoop to acceptance of mediocrity is a slap in the face to all who are in the average range. In essence, you label all such men as mediocre, somehow failing to measure up. A couple of dictionary definitions of the term "mediocre" are: (i) of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance; (ii) of only ordinary or moderate quality; neither good nor bad; barely adequate.

Equally, you insult the women in the lives of us average types, the import of your words being that they too have accepted something second rate. This, despite that fact that some women here have told you that 4-6 inches is just fine, indeed desired by many women.

[jns]

Obelisk, I'm sorry, your unattributed quotes are making it impossible to follow your logic. I cannot tell if things are in context or out of context. Further it borders on what may be considered plagiarism. From Wikipedia in an article on plagiarism: 'The University of Cambridge defines plagiarism as: "submitting as one's own work, irrespective of intent to deceive, that which derives in part or in its entirety from the work of others without due acknowledgement." '

I know some others do it also, and it annoys me the same way.

Sometimes not attributing quotes is a way to get the content of a person who has been banned for cause back into the conversation.

[Stillness]

Obelisk, I'm sorry, your unattributed quotes are making it impossible to follow your logic.

In fairness to Obelisk, he did cite the thread and place a link and those comments are all there. His commentary in the red is questionable, but I don't think he did anything dishonest. It's a mostly accurate copying of the type of conversation that goes on between members of the same sex all the time. It's one I've heard or been a part of with my friends if you substitute the female body parts and genitalia. The difference is that the good times were interrupted by someone of the opposite sex with feelings of inadequacy.

[rcoreyus]

I don't think Obelisk did anything wrong with his post, but I I'm not able to follow who wrote what .

[Little]

It's rather insulting to consider a woman with a smaller vagina as some sort of consolation prize.

I didn't realize earlier that I had posted in the Husband's Penis thread (it's been 6 years, cut me slack, kay?) I described my ex as 5-6". What was I smoking? That's the same below-average partner I've been referencing. Being 19 must practically be a hallucinogenic and hindsight is 20/20. Living proof that people (especially people yet to have significant sexual experience) are awful at size estimation. You can also see how my opinions have stayed constant over six years and many, many partners of varying sizes. I think I am perhaps more apathetic about penis length now than I was then ... dat experience!

You might also consider anonymouswhitefemale's post on page 7 about poor size estimation in many of his partners - despite his username, that's a man.

Carmen's nonsense about the 2-foot tools begins on page 9 - that's the posters I was talking about previously.

JNS - if some of the banned posters in that thread make their way back here, I will be crying myself to sleep!

Obelisk, I don't think my words will change your mind. What do I know, anyways? I'm just a sexually active vagina-owner with a preference for penetration over other methods of sexual stimulation. If I were a man or if I wasn't that into penetration, I might feel less of an expert, but I have a vested interest in how penises perform.

[Obelisk]

Well Obelisk,

If to the extent you felt patronized by me, I am sorry.

It's ok man, I know I'm frustrating the heck out of some of you guys and gals, so I can understand if you "patronized" out of frustration.

It's not just you. Several posters have mentioned previously to me "not everyone can have everything" and "you can't be the best at everything".

No way, those words don't compute in my head. Everything I put my mind to, as long as it's physically possible, gets done. That's just the way I am.

But you can be quite trying. Stillness, supra, was on target in saying: "The amazing thing to me is how you take comments and threads that I'd think would comfort you and somehow turn them into fuel for your obsession."

Well, for the record, I think this whole thread has gotten pretty extreme, and I apologize for it, since I'm the one basically fueling it with my comments.

You stated in your post immediately above that you just might have to accept "mediocrity". You have gone on record as saying your penis is average, but you aspire to greater. OK, although many have suggested being happy with what you have.

I could be happy with what I have if women were happy with it. It seems this is a hit/miss proposition.

just too much for her. That man told her his length was 7". As for my size, I have not measured since I was about 15 and not about to start now. I think I can say with some assurance I am more than 5, less than 7 inches and with an acceptable, albeit mediocre, girth. Within the realm of average.

Cool, thank you for your information about your experience.

To say that to be content with being average is to stoop to acceptance of mediocrity is a slap in the face to all who are in the average range

If someone is overweight, or facially unattractive, should that person be told to "be happy with what they have or who they are?"

I think if people can be happy with what they have, that's great, sometimes they can't. I'm predisposed to be overweight. I rather keep on fighting to eat and workout to not let my body be overweight. The sad truth is people respect you more when you look attractive.

So, if a guy wanted to lose 50lbs to not look average, I think people would agree it's a good choice.

What about a woman who gets a nose job? If her nose is a cause of anxiety, I'm all for the nose job if it helps. I guess the same with breast implants. If a woman genuinely feels anxiety over her breast size, I see no problem with implants if that helps.

Equally, you insult the women in the lives of us average types, the import of your words being that they too have accepted something second rate. This, despite that fact that some women here have told you that 4-6 inches is just fine, indeed desired by many women.

I don't believe I have gotten much genuine comments regarding this.

I do believe a lot of women are truthful that they do not want larger than average. My personal belief is that they can't physically take more without discomfort.

So what's the percentage of these women? I really have no idea.

In fairness to Obelisk, he did cite the thread and place a link and those comments are all there. His commentary in the red is questionable, but I don't think he did anything dishonest. It's a mostly accurate copying of the type of conversation that goes on between members of the same sex all the time. It's one I've heard or been a part of with my friends if you substitute the female body parts and genitalia. The difference is that the good times were interrupted by someone of the opposite sex with feelings of inadequacy.

Thanks man. For the record, I have been in these conversations as well with other guys, but I never really put my own opinions in them because I hate doing what I feel people have done to me all my life.

I don't think Obelisk did anything wrong with his post, but I I'm not able to follow who wrote what .

Hmm, sorry for the confusion. Stillness commented that I took a thread from this forum, and only saw what I wanted to see. I just wanted to show him that I don't believe it was what I wanted to see, but rather, the general opinion on the matter.

It's rather insulting to consider a woman with a smaller vagina as some sort of consolation prize.

Why? We both benefit don't we?

I didn't realize earlier that I had posted in the Husband's Penis thread (it's been 6 years, cut me slack, kay?)

Actually I didn't read the whole thread. Only like the first 2 pages. I don't think I saw any comments from you, but now I'm curious and will go read it more carefully

Obelisk, I don't think my words will change your mind

Well, I've kind of had my own conclusion on the matter, here it is:

All women who haven't experienced a large tool would like to know what it feels like. "Large" is subjective though. 6" could be large to some women. Also depending on upbringing, it might not even be on the radar for some.
Women who have experienced large probably enjoyed it even if it was a bit uncomfortable unless it was too large. Again, it seems to vary depending on the woman's own size.
The women that have been with large and enjoyed it probably feel pressured to lie if they get a smaller guy and say it doesn't matter. I do agree that the degree that it matter might vary depending on the woman. For some it might be the 1% that Stillness mentioned before. For others it might range higher. I wouldn't be surprised if for some it could matter 10% or more.

I have absolutely no problem with honesty. Have you seen me say anything bad to any women that have admitted they would like larger as ideal but are ok with average? I do kind of get mad when I'm patronized with "size doesn't matter, be happy with what you have". This is a lie. For some it might not matter much, but I'd like honest answers, not ones trying to "spare" my feelings.

You mentioned that it's insulting to consider a woman with a smaller vagina as a consolation prize. Then you say you prefer penetration and have a vested interest in how a penis performs.

Ok, so let's start there. I believe you've said that average is your preference. Let's say that's 6" with 5" girth. So would you be happy with a guy that had 4" with 4" girth, particularly since you prefer penetration over other methods? There's a lot of guys in that range. Problem is society puts the blame squarely on the guy. If he had 4" by 4" it's his fault, because society has always placed #'s on penis size that are considered "big". So the guy needs to start a 7" by 6" to start being called "larger".

Yet it's ridiculous that men that are that size will probably find a range of women to whom that size is too big and will hurt.

Women aren't penalized (hah hah pun ) the same way about their vagina size. I'm not really blaming anyone for that, I'm just annoyed by it.