[atskitty2]

I think jen raises an interesting point. If memory serves me, adub has had no shortage of willing partners, according to other posts, but if it's a one-sided encounter, he, and others like him, miss out on some pretty terrific fringe benefits.
Another point i thought of is this: I had a selfish lover once, and I was far less willing to do the "extras" because he wouldn't do the basics for me. Obviously our relationship didn't last long after we became sexual. I think most men really want to please their woman and recognize their own reward for doing so.

And I just have to say that I do think we women experience more pleasurable orgasms than men. I have not been with a lot of men, let me say, fewer than 10, but none of them ever seemed to display anything anywhere near the intensity that I sometimes reach. Neither in length of time nor in pleasure itself. My ex husband even said that a time or two.

I apologize OP, it seems we have hijacked the thread.

[Stillness]

I don't mean this as an attack, but if your man is not receiving great pleasure, then maybe it's because you're not giving it to him. A certain focus may be placed on the woman because the climax tends to be harder to reach in effort and time. Men are generally easier, so doing things that really get us going might be secondary. Just like a-dub said, he's just going for ejaculation and not even worrying about foreplay. I really know how he feels, but foreplay really heightens the sexual experience for men too.

The foreplay is often so good to me that I don't want to stop. My wife is almost always the one to end foreplay and it's because she's ready. I'm not complaining, because I'm going to get there no matter what, but she has a specific way that she prefers it so the timing is critical. But that's what the focus generally is - her, not me.

But, I haven't seen any indication in her or any other woman that anything about sex is more pleasurable for them. Feeling pleasure and displaying that you feel it are two different things.

[a_dub]

^ Agree with stillness. Now my own sexual experience is limited to the nth degree, but based on the amateur porn I've seen its clear that women make 90% of the noise during sex. Its always the girl who's moaning and screaming. Guys might grunt or gasp randomly here and there. So its obviously that women display more pleasure but do they actually feel more? Its impossible to ever know since no one can ever experience both, but maybe there's some sort of conditioned sexual response that we all learn. Ie women subconsiously learn that they should make vocal noises during sex and men just kind of stay silent.

[jen1447]

atskitty2, you said it girl.

Obelisk, having a defeatist attitude isn't going to help you either. Is the situation fair? No, but life's not fair. Do you really want to stand on principal and be alone, or make a few concessions and enjoy life with someone like 99% of humanity wants to?

[atskitty2]

I don't mean this as an attack, but if your man is not receiving great pleasure, then maybe it's because you're not giving it to him.

Stillness: Not taken as an attack, it's a valid thought. Years ago, I actually talked to my husband and briefly one man about that because I really did wonder if it was me (women) or if it was me being a lousy lay. I guess it is like adub says, and we can never really know. Perhaps my limited experience as well leaves me less qualified to come to a well-researched opinion.

I do hold the opinion tho' and I believe as well that it may be individuals differing in their ability, preference and satisfaction level. This brings me to such ideas as, how many times a man can (or chooses to) orgasm. Same for women I suppose.
The men I have been with have admitted to being unable to go two or three times in an evening, but have been willing to satisfy me multiple times if I choose to. This is yet another reason I believe a woman's pleasure is deeper and more intense because with each time, the intensity grows.

And I should clarify, this info is not my current situation. I'm not sexually active & my pleasure has changed dramatically over the last 10 yrs. I'm sure it will be much different for me when and if I reach that point again in a relationship and I may not experience pleasure the same way I did even 5 yrs ago.

And BTW, we are all not screamers and moaners.

[Stillness]

how many times a man can (or chooses to) orgasm

6 times for me in one night from experience. I don't know if I have a limit. It got to be morning time and we had to go. I honestly don't ever seem to get enough and would probably have sex all day back-to-back-to-back if I didn't have other stuff to do, like work, sleep and eat. I've never had an incident where I couldn't get an erection.

But I don't know if frequency says much about pleasure. How about this idea: If sex feels so much better to women, why do women generally take so much longer to reach climax? Also, not all men are not screamers or moaners.

[Obelisk]

Do you really want to stand on principal and be alone

Yes.



People that know me call me Mr. Spock. Take a guess as to why.

[Stillness]

Big ears? Fictional? When you come to my country you're an alien? I give up.

Seriously, your principle is based on obsession. Any woman who is in to you, but feels like you're inadequate physically is either inadequate mentally or has a problem with her vagina. A healthy vagina adjusts.

Would you call a man 5'8"-5'10" disadvantaged? That's average. If someone can't function well whether mentally of physically, I'd call that a disadvantage. Even short is not a disadvantage, and can even be an advantage.

I've driven women crazy and I'm sure I'm pretty average. My wife barely lets me touch her between the legs with anything but my penis because she says nothing compares. We fit like a hand in a glove. It's kind of a bummer because I really like to play with her, but at the same time her devotion to my manhood is awesome. Her devotion to me is even better.

Worrying about random internet people and things that haven't even happened and probably never will is not logical, Spock.

[jen1447]

People that know me call me Mr. Spock. Take a guess as to why.

Aw, because you're illogical? Oh wait ...

[rcoreyus]

I think that some people have it backwards. Some people are talking as if pleasing their partner is some sort of chore that they do in return for getting something in return. The enjoyable part of lovemaking is making the other person happy. If the goal were just to get an orgasm, then you could just user your own hand or a vibrator - much faster and easier than anything a partner will do for you.