[jns]

To me it seems fairly instinctive for a guy to make out with her first. Caress her hair, neck, face, shoulders, and breasts before moving down between her legs.

It may be counter-intuitive, but going back to hair, neck, face, shoulders, breasts, etc. (etc. includes stomach, hands, back, feet, legs, knees and others) for kisses and caresses while slowing down things is a good thing unless you want things to be formulaic. Yes, we all know what the final destination is in most cases, but it doesn't have to be the same thing every time. You might find one area or another is getting heightened results one time or another. You just have to go back and try several times to find out.

[Stillness]

Even though I'm a virgin who has never even held hands with a girl let alone boinked one

a_dub, am I just remembering incorectly or didn't you say a while back that you had been intimate with a woman or two, but didn't really enjoy it much?

Anyway, I sort of agree with you, that sex is not that complicated a thing on one had. Like many things, you can sort of get a feel for what needs to be done and do it with some success. But in pretty much any endeavor you can learn and improve your technique.

It's like painting a wall. You throw some paint on it and that's that, right?. But as someone who made his living painting professionally for a couple of years, when I walk into a room, I know when someone took their time and did it right or hired a professional and when they "threw some paint on a wall." I can also look at someone else painting and tell whether or not they're a professional from the way they paint. Sex is similar. I'm still learning and I've been doing it for over 20 years - and I'm talking about not just my wife's body, but my own. And since sex involves people, what works for each individual will vary.

[rcoreyus]

I don't think there are any rules as to what you **should** do in bed. The key is to be attentive to your lover's responses and modify what you are doing accordingly. Remembering that "finishing" quickly is not the point - except maybe once in a while since that can be fun too....

[a_dub]

Theres a number of reasons I choose to ignore my first forays into the world of sex.

Firstly, it was just a couple of random hook ups over 5 years ago. I just wanted to get the deed done and they were desperate and 'easy'. Just as desperate as me. Secondly, I wasn't attracted to them physically and as a result it was really hard to cum. A first timer busts prematurely, not after 30 mins of 'wonder how much longer i have to keep doing this for'. Thirdly there was no foreplay, no kissing just a kind of dazed union. Fourth, the altruism of pleasing my partner wasn't even a thought in my mind. I was just in it to tell my buddies i'd finally gotten some. All in all a pretty terrible experience and I'm certain they felt the same way.

[jns]

Secondly, I wasn't attracted to them physically and as a result it was really hard to cum. A first timer busts prematurely, not after 30 mins of 'wonder how much longer i have to keep doing this for'.

Being strongly physically attracted is not the answer. The sensation is quite different than masturbation and it takes some time before a guy can reach climax if ever. At least that was my experience. A lot of it is learning to let go and ride the sensations that you are not fully in control of. My first was ordinarily attractive, but very comfortable to be with and I didn't have a problem. My second was much more attractive, but I locked up. It took a while before I learned to relax and let go. Many first timers do not burst prematurely. I didn't.

[a_dub]

So are you saying it takes a while to enjoy the sensation? My first few times, I didn't get any enjoyment out of it. It was hard work in fact to keep pounding away aimlessly after the novelty of getting laid wore off after 5 minutes.

The sensation was different than jerking off, frankly not nearly as good. Maybe cuz the girls were really loose and my package is on the smaller side. I figure the lack of attraction was the biggest factro tho.

I wonder if its the same for women re attraction and sensation or getting used to the sensation of having a penis inside their vagina.

[Stillness]

I have no idea what it's like under those circumstances or if there is any standard in any situation. I was in love and my girlfriend was absolutely beautiful and one of the sexiest women I've ever met up until this day. We had sex all night and I had 5 orgasms, if my memory serves me correctly. (That crazy broad actually told her mother and she said that we should buy Trojan stock). I don't remember how quickly it went. Time lost meaning.

The big difference is that pornography for me was a fuzzy channel on TV where I could barely make out the people and a VHS videotape that I had paid $10 for at a liquor store that looked like it was made in the 70's that I hid in my room. This was 1992. I don't think I even had the tape at that point, because I had no clue what sex was like. I had only been masturbating for a year or two, I think. And I was nowhere near as devoted to it as I think you are, a_dub.

I remember pumping for a very long time, thinking, "Is this it?" She seemed to be enjoying it. I was too because I was in between this naked woman's legs, but it felt odd. It wasn't even in. I didn't know how to get it in or that women lubricated like they do. Once it went in my world changed.

There is absolutely nothing like the connection between man and woman, in my experience.

[a_dub]

Gee stillness, sounds like you had a splendid time. I'm assuming you're not still with her.

Is sex really that great? Is usually always equally amazing each time?

I've had really great orgasms from maturbation. Probably 25% of the time its mind boggling. Certainly better than the few times I had sex. Sometimes its hard to imagine sex could be any better.

I assume most people's first time is euphoric. Is sex able to maintain that level of awesomeness ?

[Stillness]

I'm not with her anymore.

Yes, sex is amazing every single time. That was with rubbers on. Without is even better. That first time was 21 years ago and it still feels like the first time every single time to me. The last time I was with my wife I felt like a virgin.

I wouldn't say that every time is equal. But every time is better than masturbation, at least for me it is. I have had a lot of fun and pleasure masturbating, it just doesn't compare though. You have to figure that masturbation has been around for a long time, yet our population is 7billion and rising. Some people actually try, but quite a few of us are here just because two horny people came together.

[catwoman]

It also seems fairly instinctive to 'play' with her vagina before your penis dives in

After reading this I just picture a guy actually diving, lol...