After having read your thread from 2012 I would now see that your wife is a narcissist and there is no fixing that. If all the things you said or assumed about no/low libido people are based on your wife I can see where you'd come away with some skewed ideas. You have another issue altogether, I've known a few narcissists over the years and not one of them could maintain a healthy relationship and not one of them saw any real fault in themselves for any relationship issues. Counseling will not work because a narcissist will never believe there is anything about themselves that they need to change. You may (and have) gotten temporary improvements ONLY because she deemed it in her best interest. If you'd listened to your gut early on you wouldn't be where you are now, but you also wouldn't have your kids. Move on, listen to your gut in the future and find someone who is GGG (good, giving and game to try new things). I wouldn't suggest going outside your relationship for the physical intimacy because even if she told you it was ok, she'd eat you alive for it later, she wouldn't be able to help herself.
-
I stand by everything I said right up to the end bits. Jondoe, you posed your questions and made assumptions about a whole group of people and that is what I was responding to as well as working from the (bad) assumption that your specific case was with a typical person.
After having read your thread from 2012 I would now see that your wife is a narcissist and there is no fixing that. If all the things you said or assumed about no/low libido people are based on your wife I can see where you'd come away with some skewed ideas. You have another issue altogether, I've known a few narcissists over the years and not one of them could maintain a healthy relationship and not one of them saw any real fault in themselves for any relationship issues. Counseling will not work because a narcissist will never believe there is anything about themselves that they need to change. You may (and have) gotten temporary improvements ONLY because she deemed it in her best interest. If you'd listened to your gut early on you wouldn't be where you are now, but you also wouldn't have your kids. Move on, listen to your gut in the future and find someone who is GGG (good, giving and game to try new things). I wouldn't suggest going outside your relationship for the physical intimacy because even if she told you it was ok, she'd eat you alive for it later, she wouldn't be able to help herself. -
Trix, I'm glad you went over JonDoe's much older post. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be an easy way to pull up all older posts (if there is, maybe someone could enlighten me) by a person. I knew JonDoe had explained his situation around the time when he started posting. One of the benefits of being on here for a long time is knowing about those posts.
The reason I liked your post is that it gives a good description of what the issues are confronting a low libido person when dealing with a partner who has a much higher libido.I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
...
Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, VirginiaComment
-
That was my intention and I'm glad it came though even though I know my annoyance/indignation at a group of people being "typed" and (I felt) attacked by someone whom I felt had no idea what they were talking about was fairly obvious. I was right about him being clueless, but made bad assumptions in my reason for his cluelessness and I do feel some guilt for that. Indignation gets me every time. I've done much dumber stuff than this like jumping (all 90 lbs of me) in between a 6'+ man and the woman he was pushing around and asking HIM if he'd lost his mind, lol. When I'm indignant, when I see or feel an injustice I have no fear and the filter in between my brain and my mouth disappears. I have at times been surprised I am still alive
Comment
-
JonDoe has 350 posts. "view forum posts will go back only so far, not anywhere near to his first post. It actually used to be better because it went back 200 posts.I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
...
Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, VirginiaComment
Get The Newsletter
Latest Activity
-
A balanced middle ground seems healthiest here. You can set a clear boundary without turning every disagreement into a fight. Calmly explaining how her...
08-15-2026, 07:35 AM By chrishillus -
Well, funny enough, I've talked to a few people about this, and we've all had a laugh that on social media and in certain circles, women are coming clean...
08-12-2026, 09:35 PM By JonnyR -
Reply to PCOS and unwanted hair growth
I had NO idea! But honestly, the new name makes so much more sense. I’ve always associated PCOS primarily with the reproductive side of things, so it’s...
08-11-2026, 12:12 PM By Birdie_567 -
Reply to PCOS and unwanted hair growth
BTW -- did you see that the renamed PCOS to PMOS?
Per online:
"Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) has been officially renamed...08-06-2026, 08:04 PM By JonnyR -
To me, there's a big difference between prioritizing your kids' needs and making your kids your entire emotional world. I've definitely seen situations...
08-03-2026, 01:59 PM By Birdie_567
Latest Topics
-
Does anyone have any experience with PCOS and getting rid of unwanted facial hair? What started as one singular strand on my chin in my 20s has turned...
07-27-2026, 07:25 AM By Birdie_567
it doesn't work without at least one keyword.
Comment