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  • Trixareforkids
    Banned
    • Mar 2014
    • 737

    I stand by everything I said right up to the end bits. Jondoe, you posed your questions and made assumptions about a whole group of people and that is what I was responding to as well as working from the (bad) assumption that your specific case was with a typical person.

    After having read your thread from 2012 I would now see that your wife is a narcissist and there is no fixing that. If all the things you said or assumed about no/low libido people are based on your wife I can see where you'd come away with some skewed ideas. You have another issue altogether, I've known a few narcissists over the years and not one of them could maintain a healthy relationship and not one of them saw any real fault in themselves for any relationship issues. Counseling will not work because a narcissist will never believe there is anything about themselves that they need to change. You may (and have) gotten temporary improvements ONLY because she deemed it in her best interest. If you'd listened to your gut early on you wouldn't be where you are now, but you also wouldn't have your kids. Move on, listen to your gut in the future and find someone who is GGG (good, giving and game to try new things). I wouldn't suggest going outside your relationship for the physical intimacy because even if she told you it was ok, she'd eat you alive for it later, she wouldn't be able to help herself.

    Comment

    • jns
      Assistant Admin
      • Mar 2010
      • 8398

      Trix, I'm glad you went over JonDoe's much older post. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be an easy way to pull up all older posts (if there is, maybe someone could enlighten me) by a person. I knew JonDoe had explained his situation around the time when he started posting. One of the benefits of being on here for a long time is knowing about those posts.

      The reason I liked your post is that it gives a good description of what the issues are confronting a low libido person when dealing with a partner who has a much higher libido.
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      ...
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

      Comment

      • Trixareforkids
        Banned
        • Mar 2014
        • 737

        Originally posted by jns
        The reason I liked your post is that it gives a good description of what the issues are confronting a low libido person when dealing with a partner who has a much higher libido.
        That was my intention and I'm glad it came though even though I know my annoyance/indignation at a group of people being "typed" and (I felt) attacked by someone whom I felt had no idea what they were talking about was fairly obvious. I was right about him being clueless, but made bad assumptions in my reason for his cluelessness and I do feel some guilt for that. Indignation gets me every time. I've done much dumber stuff than this like jumping (all 90 lbs of me) in between a 6'+ man and the woman he was pushing around and asking HIM if he'd lost his mind, lol. When I'm indignant, when I see or feel an injustice I have no fear and the filter in between my brain and my mouth disappears. I have at times been surprised I am still alive

        Comment

        • Stillness
          WH Poster of the Month April 2017
          • Feb 2012
          • 3679

          Originally posted by jns
          there doesn't seem to be an easy way to pull up all older posts (if there is, maybe someone could enlighten me) by a person
          You know about just clicking on a name and clicking "view forum posts," right?
          "Those sowing seed with tears
          Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

          Comment

          • Trixareforkids
            Banned
            • Mar 2014
            • 737

            Originally posted by Stillness
            You know about just clicking on a name and clicking "view forum posts," right?
            Even with that its still difficult to find old threads. If there's a way to search for treads started by a particular person, I haven't found it yet. Is there?

            Comment

            • Stillness
              WH Poster of the Month April 2017
              • Feb 2012
              • 3679

              Originally posted by Trixareforkids
              Even with that its still difficult to find old threads. If there's a way to search for treads started by a particular person, I haven't found it yet. Is there?
              Advanced Search, I think.
              "Those sowing seed with tears
              Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

              Comment

              • Trixareforkids
                Banned
                • Mar 2014
                • 737

                Nope it doesn't work without at least one keyword.

                Comment

                • jen1447
                  Veteran Member
                  • Oct 2013
                  • 2380

                  View profile > find latest started threads. Not sure how far back it goes ....

                  Comment

                  • Trixareforkids
                    Banned
                    • Mar 2014
                    • 737

                    Originally posted by jen1447
                    View profile > find latest started threads. Not sure how far back it goes ....
                    Ok, now that I've seen it I don't know how I missed it before, thank you

                    Comment

                    • jns
                      Assistant Admin
                      • Mar 2010
                      • 8398

                      Originally posted by Stillness
                      You know about just clicking on a name and clicking "view forum posts," right?
                      JonDoe has 350 posts. "view forum posts will go back only so far, not anywhere near to his first post. It actually used to be better because it went back 200 posts.
                      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                      ...
                      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                      Comment

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