[sexy brenda]

Thanks lol but Brenda deserves all the credit - she's the one womaning up with the courage to try what she wants.

Oh btw Bren, you asked if you were being greedy ....no you're not. Greed is having something or taking something at the expense of someone else, or wanting what they have. You're not robbing anyone of any sexual activity here, only adding to yours. I have no doubt you both have the capacity to add this to your sexual playbook without subtracting any of the action from your husbands. Otherwise it's just general guilt that makes us feel that way when we're getting what we want, feeling bad that others don't have it as good as you, but truth is there's no shame in pursuing a (very) fulfilling sexuality.

I did as you said and one afternoon as we masturbated with her on a chair facing me I went over to her and just smiled and she smiled back and she opened her legs and leaned back she knew what I had in mind and I did touch her between her legs and I enjoyed it. She said to me '"why has it taken you so long?. I have wanted to do it from the beginning". She suggested we went upstairs to the bedroom where we had such a good time. We just did it with our fingers at first but eventually she went down with her head between my legs and gave me oral. It was so good and although I have been given oral by her husband she seemed to know where to put her tongue better than he did, probably by being a woman she seemed to know what part may excite me. In did put my mouth upon her parts but went gently as it was the first time I had been with a woman, perhaps I will get better. I thoroughly am enjoying my new life now. Thanks Jen

[Motorguy]

It sounds a bit like you're actually interested in your wife sleeping with others as opposed to just being open-minded. I mention that just because it's a different kink than swinging.

As for swinging specifically, I never cared for cultures like that and say nudists, personally - too cliquey and frankly a bit weird. It's like they're in a club with memberships ....just puts me off. When I do my thing with GFs it's just girls doing what girls do lol, we don't go to strange dungeons or have bisexual ID cards or secret handshakes or winks that say what's going on to other cult members.

Probably the most important thing tho is that if your wife already turned this down, you should respect that and give it up. If she's secretly on the fence, some subtle suggestions might encourage her but if she actually means what she says, you 'll only irritate her by pursuing it. Saying "I want you to eff other guys" when she's not at all into that is a bit more severe an offense than most things.

I agree Jenn, very much on this topic with you. If you have to try and convince your wife to be in the swinging life style. You better be prepare to see your wife in divorce court. It has to be a life style that both husband and wife will enjoy and want to live this life style together many married couple do. And not one of them had to be convince to do so.

[Motorguy]

I did as you said and one afternoon as we masturbated with her on a chair facing me I went over to her and just smiled and she smiled back and she opened her legs and leaned back she knew what I had in mind and I did touch her between her legs and I enjoyed it. She said to me '"why has it taken you so long?. I have wanted to do it from the beginning". She suggested we went upstairs to the bedroom where we had such a good time. We just did it with our fingers at first but eventually she went down with her head between my legs and gave me oral. It was so good and although I have been given oral by her husband she seemed to know where to put her tongue better than he did, probably by being a woman she seemed to know what part may excite me. In did put my mouth upon her parts but went gently as it was the first time I had been with a woman, perhaps I will get better. I thoroughly am enjoying my new life now. Thanks Jen

Oh wow very nice Brenda, sounds like you found a all new type of love very nice good luck keep having fun now.

[Something_Awesome]

My feeling is if you want some variety, why not seek it within your marriage?

This!!! Don't do the whole swinging/swapping thing dude. It's just destructive behavior. You have an idealistic view of how it will play out and you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

[Motorguy]

This!!! Don't do the whole swinging/swapping thing dude. It's just destructive behavior. You have an idealistic view of how it will play out and you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

Well many couples do live a fun swing life style and been married for years. But you are right a big fact disappointment will be had when wife not into that life style it's not something you will learn to love.

[sexy brenda]

Well many couples do live a fun swing life style and been married for years. But you are right a big fact disappointment will be had when wife not into that life style it's not something you will learn to love.

You are right Motorguy all people in the partnership need to be in agreement with each other that is why I and all concerned in the partnership are singing from the same hymn sheet

[jen1447]

Everything still good with your new girlfriend, Bren? I was so happy to hear you made that move finally.

[sexy brenda]

Everything still good with your new girlfriend, Bren? I was so happy to hear you made that move finally.

jen Thank you
My life has entirely changed I feel great now after missing all my life what I am doing nowadays. It certainly has been great with the male partner and now I am in a relationship with a female it just gets better. When I was younger and having lead a sheltered life I would think of even thinking about going with a woman the height of dis-respectability and dirty but this forum has learnt me that sex can be wonderful and exiting. I must have been an idiot in those days. When I read about your life and what you have replied advice to readers I think you are great, always helping out with advice. You have certainly helped me. I started out a shy person but now I feel great.

[jen1447]

That's fantastic Brenda. And don't think of yourself as dumb or anything like that ....we're all products of our environment to some extent. I'm just glad that you're living life on your terms now. Enjoy it .

[Natalie1962]

I've never been able to to understand swinging myself. I understand that generally couples who participate in the lifestyle have rules that are supposed to maintain the integrity of the relationship. But there are some things that it's simply impossible to guard against. Like feelings developing if you have "favorite" partners or jealousy issues. Personally, I wouldn't want to share my husband It's kind of funny that a friend of ours who is bi-sexual has to told me that she has a "crush" on me, though.

Having been in the swinging scene since the 80s I can tell you from experience that this has never been an issue with my husband and myself. We started off on a firm foundation with no jealousy issues. We did have rules at first such as no kissing on the lips and condom use. Basically we agreed to "vanilla sex" with other couples. The kissing rule went by the wayside a few years ago after much discussion but it has not ever lead to any issues with my husband. I can be intimate with another man and cuddle up to my husband later that night safely in his arms. It's nothing more than sex to us. Though we do have close friends that I still meet with I've never "fallen in love" with any of them. Again that can only be done if there is complete trust with your spouse. I'm even allowed to hook up with other men during business trips by myself as long as I tell my husband beforehand. Normally for safety reasons (and because he gets very stimulated by it) I will call him on my cell phone before hand and leave it on (plugged into a charger) so he can hear what is going on. I feel good because I know he is there giving his approval and I can just enjoy myself and be a bit more vocal than usual.

So it all depends on your relationship with your spouse. If you're on shaky ground then I wouldn't recommend it. If you are on a firm foundation and want to give it a try then do it once. The proof is at the very moment a man sees another man entering his wife: can he accept it. The same goes for the wife.

Natalie