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  • effy2014
    Veteran Member
    • Apr 2014
    • 1777

    Originally posted by Magnetism
    Stillness-I still enjoy giving oral more, even when the right man can penetrate me. Come to think of it, there was another partner that was able to successfully penetrate me ONLY after months of developing trust. Some of my female friends can easily open up their legs to anyone with no foreplay or trust. I can't do it. Jns-yes, typo! It was supposed to be males. There were times where I was receiving oral and pretended to like it, The guy still could tell I didn't like it, and then I just felt awkward.
    I completely get this. Intimacy for me is best in the context of an emotionally committed relationship.
    "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

    Comment

    • bootsie
      Senior Member
      • May 2013
      • 154

      I know that I can say that I love giving oral sex about 90% more than any other sex acts.

      Comment

      • Magnetism
        Veteran Member
        • Jan 2009
        • 1060

        Originally posted by effy2014
        I completely get this. Intimacy for me is best in the context of an emotionally committed relationship.

        Yeah, I've heard some men need it too.

        Can anyone explain what it means when someone says, "You don't get anything out of giving oral." I had a therapist tell me this (I shouldn't have opened up to her about this). She said, "I"m concerned about you not getting anything out of it. I don't understand why you would be satisfied with it." Huh? The most important thing about sex is that you're happy and honoring what you like.
        "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

        Comment

        • effy2014
          Veteran Member
          • Apr 2014
          • 1777

          Mag:

          Was the therapist talking about you giving or receiving oral? I can see a therapists concern that you wouldn't be getting anything out of receiving. That might indicate a host of emotional issues. I would think that a therapist would find it great that you get sexual pleasure out of giving oral. It is the sign of a giving lover.
          "The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you." Despair.com "Dysfunction"

          Comment

          • Magnetism
            Veteran Member
            • Jan 2009
            • 1060

            Originally posted by effy2014
            Mag:

            Was the therapist talking about you giving or receiving oral? I can see a therapists concern that you wouldn't be getting anything out of receiving. That might indicate a host of emotional issues. I would think that a therapist would find it great that you get sexual pleasure out of giving oral. It is the sign of a giving lover.

            She was concerned about me GIVING. She also said, "Nothing is being done to you." I said, "My body experiences sensations while giving oral." She said, "I never heard of that" and laughed. I told her that her comments are making anxious, because I felt that she was making me feel abnormal.
            "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

            Comment

            • Magnetism
              Veteran Member
              • Jan 2009
              • 1060

              She also said that my preferences will cause problems down the line. I told her that if I'm in love and married, allowing my partner to give pleasure to me shouldn't be a problem.
              "Dating is like slow dancing. Let the man lead, or you will fall all over your feet"

              Comment

              • jns
                Assistant Admin
                • Mar 2010
                • 8398

                Originally posted by Magnetism
                Can anyone explain what it means when someone says, "You don't get anything out of giving oral." I had a therapist tell me this (I shouldn't have opened up to her about this). She said, "I"m concerned about you not getting anything out of it. I don't understand why you would be satisfied with it." Huh? The most important thing about sex is that you're happy and honoring what you like.
                It almost sounds like your therapist learned about an"ideal" relationship in a book and is using that as a pattern that all others must comply with.
                I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                ...
                Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                Comment

                • jns
                  Assistant Admin
                  • Mar 2010
                  • 8398

                  I think your therapist is forgetting that the biggest sex organ is the brain. Sex is not just about getting the genitals excited.
                  I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                  ...
                  Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                  From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                  Comment

                  • CoolBreeze
                    Senior Member
                    • May 2013
                    • 112

                    Just like Jns mentioned above the most erogenous part of our body is the brain. You can even stimulate it before the actual physical intimacy begins. Good lovers know that. Oral is part and parcel of any good sex routine. Just make sure to alternate the rhythms and style to keep things diverse and interesting every time.

                    Comment

                    • Motorguy
                      Veteran Member
                      • Mar 2014
                      • 3921

                      Originally posted by CoolBreeze
                      Just like Jns mentioned above the most erogenous part of our body is the brain. You can even stimulate it before the actual physical intimacy begins. Good lovers know that. Oral is part and parcel of any good sex routine. Just make sure to alternate the rhythms and style to keep things diverse and interesting every time.
                      Very well said when you keep things spice in the bedroom behind closed doors makes for a great relationship or marriage as well.
                      When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.

                      Comment

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