[effy2014]

You and I aren't willing to trade the pleasures and benefits of monogamy for them, though. Others might value the former more highly. Or they simply may not know about the latter. They probably also "move the goalpost" on intimacy to the non-sexual or on how far they will go sexually. Sex itself is not necessarily solely a part of a committed relationship for them anymore than having a meal with someone is for you and I.

That is very well written Still. We all have a different set of values and expectations out of a relationship. But I was specifically referring to a marriage or other long term committed relationship. It's not just the vow or expectation of monogamy; for me, it's the deep emotional connection and to some extent spiritual connection that intimacy both creates and fosters in that kind of relationship. I am probably the weird one who cannot separate sex from emotional connection.

In a strong committed relationship that has an equally strong intimate relationship, from where does the need for other partners arise? As you say, my commitment to my favorite restaurant may be strong, but I will go to other restaurants for the variety.

[kdc]

. . . for me, it's the deep emotional connection and to some extent spiritual connection that intimacy both creates and fosters in that kind of relationship. I am probably the weird one who cannot separate sex from emotional connection. . . .

That's how it is for me too. The emotional connection is what makes the relationship for me too. It's hard to explain, but it adds a different dimension to sex that I didn't feel in my relationships as a sexually active single (which, granted, was a million years ago, but I do still remember).

[JonDoe]

Cuckolding is generally referred to in terms the woman in a committed relationship being satisfied by other men. However, how common is the practice of the man being satisfied by other women? Any readers care to share your experiences?

[JonDoe]

It wouldn't work for me, but to each their own.

I should clarify that....

It wouldn't have worked for me in my marriage to have my wife satisfied by another man, but primarily because she denied me of a healthy sexual relationship for so many years. However, if she had been open to me being satisfied by another woman, especially later in the relationship, then that would have been great for both of us. If she was turned on by this, that would have been even better. So maybe it can work for me! 😀

[Stillness]

In a strong committed relationship that has an equally strong intimate relationship, from where does the need for other partners arise?

I don't think it does. That was my point. It's a trade-off. You can't have a powerful monogamous bond if you're not monogamous.

I guess it also depends on how strong "strong" is. I'm sure that plenty of polyamorous people would say that their relationship is strong and that they are committed.

[rachel66]

We have an open marriage and we have threesomes with another man but I don't consider my husband a cuckold and he hates the term. But our open marriage has worked for 8 years.

[Motorguy]

Well Rachel I agree it's a very nasty term to say the least. But if you enjoy sharing another man in bed with your husband who's to say it wrong. Just so you both love having the open marriage together so have fun and enjoy your self and be safe.

[LilahX]

I don't think it does. That was my point. It's a trade-off. You can't have a powerful monogamous bond if you're not monogamous.

From our (me and my partners) perspective we have total emotional monogamy but not physicial monogamy. Our r/ship is strong - strong because of our sexual honesty, openness and trust. We don't see the people we interact sexually with as 'partners', they are acquaintances, and sometimes friends who have nothing to do with our personal, emotional r/ship.

[Stillness]

From our (me and my partners) perspective we have total emotional monogamy but not physicial monogamy. Our r/ship is strong - strong because of our sexual honesty, openness and trust. We don't see the people we interact sexually with as 'partners', they are acquaintances, and sometimes friends who have nothing to do with our personal, emotional r/ship.

Do you believe your bond is different than a sexually monogamous couple? Do you think that things are exactly as they would be between you if you were exclusive?

[effy2014]

From our (me and my partners) perspective we have total emotional monogamy but not physicial monogamy. Our r/ship is strong - strong because of our sexual honesty, openness and trust. We don't see the people we interact sexually with as 'partners', they are acquaintances, and sometimes friends who have nothing to do with our personal, emotional r/ship.

Perhaps you can answer my question -- if you have emotional monogamy, great sex between you and a strong relationship, why the other men? What additional fulfillment do you seek?