[Texinator]

I'm sorry, I can't relate. I've never ever been in a situation where I'd rather look at porn than be with a woman. I think the more she's interested the better!

So all I can offer is to suggest to look at some other aspects of the relationship. Are things generally going well? Does he have a lot of stress?

[WildChild]

I pointed out to mine a while back that he should do some thinking about this; that with all the complaining his buds do about women who don't want sex, he has one who does, who wants him and no one else. It was short lived. I feel like I'm beating my head against the wall sometimes and almost wish I could just shut it off. If I didn't love him so much it would be easier - I'd just say good bye. But still comes and goes, every once in a while, he gives just enough or shows a little glimmer - enough to give me hope.
I know what you mean, when you've blown it before and you really care, you don't want to just walk, and they do have many good qualities, you feel you have to give it every chance. At some point you do have decide, can you sublimate your sexual desire that much? I can redirect some of the energy but not all of it. It's like starving and smelling the banquet and all you get are stale bread crusts. I'm not ever marrying again and I think once I reach my limit on this situation, I'm just not going there again. It's too frustrating and distracting. Let the men have their porn and their hands. They don't want a horny, multi orgasmic woman, they want a fantasy they can flip a switch on for 5 minutes and then flip the switch off.

LOL Tomorrow or the day after I'll be optimistically thinking some how it'll turn around. Hope springs eternal. I see him, I melt. Maybe some of the gentleman will have some ideas on how you can get through to him. I'm fresh out.

[Texinator]

Sometimes I wonder if the message that women aren't interested in sex or shouldn't be interested in sex is so strong that some guys just don't know what to do when they meet one that's ready and willing to go at any time.

[WildChild]

That may well be the case. I think quite a few don't really believe it, they act like it's some sort of trap or attempt to manipulate them, like they think the woman is faking. But the other side of it seems to be a sense that they don't have to work at it. They figure they've got a willing woman always available so - no big deal. Put her on the shelf and seems very much a power thing. Haha, I got it, you want it, you can't have it.

[Texinator]

And then one day she's gone.

[WildChild]

Yes. At some point she won't be able to take it and will leave one way or another, maybe not physically; she may withdraw, become depressed, short tempered, emotionally disconnected or shut down sexually and totally lose interest. In that case many women just quit caring about themselves too, they gain weight and quit caring about their appearance. Our sexuality is key to our sense of self, this is true of women and men. When that is crushed or disregarded it's very unhealthy physically and emotionally.

[Texinator]

'Getting some' is a big deal for most men but sounds like many should also focus more on 'giving some'.

Maybe 'sharing some' would be a better description.

[WildChild]

The past couple years I've really been looking at that. At sex as something far more that just the physical. That's a large part of why I been reading so many books on the subject of not just sex but sex as an essentially spiritual experience, a means of connecting at a much deeper level. This is what Tantra works with.

Increasingly I think that people are suffering from a lack of true connection. They try to fill the void with overt sexual behavior, alcohol, drugs, video games, TV, porn, food. It isn't working. Look at how many people in the US are on antidepressants. Or at all the excessive concern with some sort of strange idea of physical perfection. None of it fills the void. It doesn't connect us with others or a special other. We need that to be truly healthy. People have tried various forms of marriage - mostly involving controlling or supressing sexuality or substituting it with religion. What we really need is a true and honest connection with each other.

I think more and more people are sensing this. It gives me hope that we will see more happier people.

[Guest]

People have tried various forms of marriage - mostly involving controlling or supressing sexuality or substituting it with religion.

I must say - that the best and strongest marriages I have seen are within the confines of a religion with strict moral and sexual standards.

Look at the Mormon church, for example. I think you may be familiar with that religion.

[Guest]

I'm not ever marrying again and I think once I reach my limit on this situation, I'm just not going there again. It's too frustrating and distracting. Let the men have their porn and their hands. They don't want a horny, multi orgasmic woman, they want a fantasy they can flip a switch on for 5 minutes and then flip the switch off.

Never expected to hear this from you!